Money and marriages

[babyfacek]

I was just talking to a friend who is married (I am not) . She was telling me they split every cost in the house halfway. :wtf:. I thought when you get married you are now 1 i.e do all things together and not independent. I might be wrong, i was looking forward to getting married but I worry about such issues as they can make or break marriages. Please help me understand someone.

 

[Deadmanza]

I was just talking to a friend who is married (I am not) . She was telling me they split every cost in the house halfway. :wtf:. I thought when you get married you are now 1 i.e do all things together and not independent. I might be wrong, i was looking forward to getting married but I worry about such issues as they can make or break marriages. Please help me understand someone.

There is no set rule, it depends on the couple and their preference.

 

[AstroTurf]

There is no set rule, it depends on the couple and their preference.

Yep, I pay rent, insurance, phones etc and my wife pays school fees, car and so on.

I Pay more cause I earn more but we have no set rule either.
Just as long as it all gets paid.

 

[Messugga]

I pay for some stuff, the wife pays for others. We don't keep track of each other's finances at all.

 

[Sepeng]

Different strokes mate. Each couple will have their way of dealing with the finances. I think as long as there is a plan and it's transparent, then well it's a start. Some will split bills, others have a joint fund that pays all the bills that they each contribute to, some will split things 50 50, others might split it according to what each earns, there's no right or wrong way I don't think.

But you are right - finances can ruin a marriage. Family and money I think are the two biggies in a marriage?

 

[IzZzy]

50/50 here, regardless of income.

 

[ToxicBunny]

50/50 here, regardless of income.

Typical bloody lawyer...

 

[SauRoNZA]

I was just talking to a friend who is married (I am not) . She was telling me they split every cost in the house halfway. :wtf:. I thought when you get married you are now 1 i.e do all things together and not independent. I might be wrong, i was looking forward to getting married but I worry about such issues as they can make or break marriages. Please help me understand someone.

Many people operate like that and I honestly don't know how they manage. Especially not if both partners aren't on the same pay scale then they certainly can't split it all 50/50 without major ***. Or do they split it based on salary difference?

Personally we see it as a team effort in our house and we have one account both our salaries go into and a credit card in my name which is just for backup.

We operate our finances like a business. So long before we got married we bought our house which we each own 50% of and we threw all our money together then already. Then we got married ANC with pretty much the only exclusion being my pension fund from a previous company as it was a large chunk of change that thew us out of balance. Going forward everything else is 50/50.

We each draw a "salary" in cash which we split equally for day to day stuff. Big things go on the budget and requires approval from both parties.

All Tax return money, bonuses whatever go in the same pot with our salaries. If there is excess we go back to the budget to spend it.


But your marriage is what you make of it. Your partner needs to understand your needs long before you get to that point anyway.

 

[Sinbad]

The important thing is actually in the marriage regimen - we're ANC with accrual. So the asset value each of us brought in remains ours, but any growth in the net worth is split 50/50.
But we split expenses pretty much in the ratio of our earnings. As I outearn my wife by a factor of 5 or so, I pay much more. That's the way the cookie crumbles. If we had to split expenses 50/50, we'd live well below our current standard and I'd have a fkn huge savings account

 

[babyfacek]

50/50 here, regardless of income.

Just a quick question. do you both earn the same, what is the one party earns less what happens? Do they still contribute their 50% even though they only remain with a R100 afterwards?

 

[Deadmanza]

Just a quick question. do you both earn the same, what is the one party earns less what happens? Do they still contribute their 50% even though they only remain with a R100 afterwards?

You do realize you can handle your finances anyway you like when you are married, right??

 

[MickeyD]

I pay for everything.

What's mine is hers and what's hers is also hers....

 

[bwana]

I pay for everything.

What's mine is hers and what's hers is also hers....

Same

 

[loc]

We've worked out how much we need a month for all bills, grocery shopping, and some entertainment. We have a shared account for shared debits and groceries. At the beginning of each month we each put 50% of the monthly amount needed into the share account

If you want something for yourself, ie shoes, bottle of whiskey, you use your personal account

 

[SauRoNZA]

But we split expenses pretty much in the ratio of our earnings. As I outearn my wife by a factor of 5 or so, I pay much more. That's the way the cookie crumbles. If we had to split expenses 50/50, we'd live well below our current standard and I'd have a fkn huge savings account

But what's the point of keeping it separate then?

Surely you still a massive savings account (as opposed to hers) regardless?

 

[babyfacek]

You do realize you can handle your finances anyway you like when you are married, right??

Yep definitely but i just want to know and get ideas of how to do it before i just plunge in. I wont follow any set rule but discuss it with my partner.

 

[SauRoNZA]

Different strokes mate. Each couple will have their way of dealing with the finances. I think as long as there is a plan and it's transparent, then well it's a start. Some will split bills, others have a joint fund that pays all the bills that they each contribute to, some will split things 50 50, others might split it according to what each earns, there's no right or wrong way I don't think.

But you are right - finances can ruin a marriage. Family and money I think are the two biggies in a marriage?

That is a very good point! Transparency.

I know way too many people where the husband (or wife) have a separate bank account that they don't want their spouse to know about etc. And it boggles my mind that people can operate like that.

And for the love of all that is holy! GET A WILL!

 

[GhostSixFour]

We have a joint account. Easiest. Plus, it gives us complete transparency, and we discuss everything.

 

[Sinbad]

But what's the point of keeping it separate then?

Surely you still a massive savings account (as opposed to hers) regardless?

Nope. My savings are above the line (ie, company pension/provident contributions), and bond repayments.
Things are separate because there's actually no such thing as a joint account in SA.
I operate my accounts, she operates hers. Most of the debit orders come off my account, some come off hers. There's no sense in opening ANOTHER account with associated costs etc for "shared" expenses. We each pay what we can, and it works.

 

[Messugga]

That is a very good point! Transparency.

I know way too many people where the husband (or wife) have a separate bank account that they don't want their spouse to know about etc. And it boggles my mind that people can operate like that.

And for the love of all that is holy! GET A WILL!

+1. Still need to do this myself. Even if you don't have much, a will sorts out so many problems in case something happens to you.