Money and marriages

[Baba Vakai]

I pay for almost everything

 

[The_MAC]

We take both incomes, subtract all the expenses, put aside "pocket money" for each, then bank all the rest as savings.

The savings is for any other adhoc expenses like weekend-aways, furniture, birthday gifts etc. And a portion of that goes into paying off the cars quicker etc.

So its a 60/40 income type situation, but the spending portion is 50/50. Works like a budget should work IMHO

 

[Carol35]

I pay for everything.

What's mine is hers and what's hers is also hers....

Good boy!

The same applies for my household. Everything into one account- I pay all the accounts and whats left, we live on.

 

[droplet]

we both kept our bank accounts. we got married ANC with accrual, with no declaration (so everything we had now belongs to both of us). we both think of all the money as "ours".

we agree on budget, and the same bills get payed by the same person every month to keep things simple).

if i want to buy something big (for myself, or her, or us), i just ask my wife, and we either agree to it, or it doesn't get bought.

works very well for us.

 

[akescpt]

I pay for almost everything

all the debit orders come off my account. she pays for the groceries, medical aid, school transport and some of baba's expenses. I pay for the rest and some of baba's expenses.

sometimes the load is heavy. so thinking now of a joint account. but then all debit orders and crap must move as well. might be easier just to get another card or are these joint accounts a special type of account?

money wise its a bit shyte to be honest. she does her thing and I do mine. everything gets paid but you don't really go forward. this pi$$es me off no end. so much so that im willing to try something else.

 

[Progenix Oj101]

I earn more. We each pay half because we each get half of the benefit.

What percentage more? I mean if she earns X and you earn 10X and want to buy something which costs 3X, you can do it and still have money left over in a single month whereas she'd have to put in every cent for three months.

Even though I'm not yet married I'm in the same boat as some others - what's hers is hers and what's mine is hers

 

[Topdoggdbn]

We've built the habit to the point where we know what the other one will or won't approve. People think it's a case that she has to phone me every time she needs to spend a hundred rand but it's nothing like that at all because over time we've learnt each other's spending habits and automatically know what will and won't fly.

We getting there, but wife only recently starting actually earning so she just wants to spend. so for now I say no to everything non essential. To develop the habit for her to think about what she buys.
I borrowed a mountain bike from a friend for a weekend and by monday she had quotes for a bike rack for the car and matching his and hers bikes. While also considering trading in and getting a SUV cos the bikes will look too big on the car. Her reasoning was because we can. hit the brakes hard since then on spending.

 

[Pitbull]

Sucks being married in community. Every time I want to buy a new bike, car or anything that required credit... I have to get her to sign too

That being said, she's the sensible one and actually keeps me in check.

 

[babyfacek]

What percentage more? I mean if she earns X and you earn 10X and want to buy something which costs 3X, you can do it and still have money left over in a single month whereas she'd have to put in every cent for three months.

Even though I'm not yet married I'm in the same boat as some others - what's hers is hers and what's mine is hers

I like that traditional approach where a man takes care of his family. However what if the wife earns way much more (say double) than the husband. The man will get strained and searched.

 

[CamiKaze]

50/50 by me but all of that is going to shst when I buy my house and get married (prenup) next year.

She will have to pay for renting from living under my roof though.

 

[MickeyD]

Good boy!

The same applies for my household. Everything into one account- I pay all the accounts and whats left, we live on.

Also secure in your marriage, are you?

 

[SauRoNZA]

Sucks being married in community. Every time I want to buy a new bike, car or anything that required credit... I have to get her to sign too

That being said, she's the sensible one and actually keeps me in check.

A sensible relationship wouldn't require the law to bring that point across.

Both car and bike are in my name but both with full approval from her.


Obviously bike she doesn't have too much to say about it because she doesn't ride herself, but with the car there was way more criteria to look at and come to a final decision. Ultimately I'm the petrolhead so she'll trust my judgement but I'm not going to get away with buying a 2-seater sports car as a primary vehicle, not that I would ever have done that anyway.

 

[SauRoNZA]

We getting there, but wife only recently starting actually earning so she just wants to spend. so for now I say no to everything non essential. To develop the habit for her to think about what she buys.
I borrowed a mountain bike from a friend for a weekend and by monday she had quotes for a bike rack for the car and matching his and hers bikes. While also considering trading in and getting a SUV cos the bikes will look too big on the car. Her reasoning was because we can. hit the brakes hard since then on spending.

LOL. Sounds like those people who have just paid off a car and no longer need to pay an instalment but then go buy a brand new one "to save petrol". The logic astounds.

In our house the vehicle budget is pretty much <15% of total household income which is just a rule I live by because I don't believe in paying what the bank offers (30%) and being shafted for it.

Actual instalments are way less than that so I've increased the debit orders on both to hit the targets on the budget meaning that we'll pay them off much quicker. So when my bike is paid off I will simply invest the money for the time being until I decide that I want to buy another one which will be inevitable. Because we are so used to the higher debit order it means I have more leeway to buy something more expensive if I would like to do so and not touch our affordability at all because we are still in the <15% margin.

 

[Pitbull]

A sensible relationship wouldn't require the law to bring that point across.

Both car and bike are in my name but both with full approval from her.


Obviously bike she doesn't have too much to say about it because she doesn't ride herself, but with the car there was way more criteria to look at and come to a final decision. Ultimately I'm the petrolhead so she'll trust my judgement but I'm not going to get away with buying a 2-seater sports car as a primary vehicle, not that I would ever have done that anyway.

True, but I have had 3 bikes in the last 3 years and lost every time on the price paid vs settlement. Which is then loaded on the next one... But very happy with my S1000RR 2012. Wanted to get a 2014 but luckily wife said no, so I'm stuck with the 2012 for now. I need a wife like mine. Man I would have been in a whore house somewhere pissing my money away on crap, was it not for her

 

[satanboy]

I pay for the house, utilities, insurance (both cars), internet etc
SO pays for the groceries

We take turns in paying for restaurants and replenishing the alcohol supplies.

No shared bank accounts.

 

[Topdoggdbn]

LOL. Sounds like those people who have just paid off a car and no longer need to pay an instalment but then go buy a brand new one "to save petrol". The logic astounds.

In our house the vehicle budget is pretty much <15% of total household income which is just a rule I live by because I don't believe in paying what the bank offers (30%) and being shafted for it.

Shame she is getting there with spending

On keeping below 15% we wanna get there but starting out so just trying to keep it tidy.

 

[IzZzy]

What percentage more? I mean if she earns X and you earn 10X and want to buy something which costs 3X, you can do it and still have money left over in a single month whereas she'd have to put in every cent for three months.

Even though I'm not yet married I'm in the same boat as some others - what's hers is hers and what's mine is hers

I would say 20% more. We share expenses. Don't get me wrong though, I am happy to cover based on the amounts we each earn, but she is insistent on 50/50. For things like holidays etc, I pay the big ticket items and she covers general cash requirements for food etc.

EDIT: After a relationship of 6 years, she only learned last week how much I earned. She had a vague idea. Again, she didn't really want to know. Now that she knows I earn more, she is pissed at me for that

 

[air]

married for over 10 years. Single account, one pot, we both consume as required. That said, we are both pretty frugal - have a pretty decent budget. I handle majority finances and give an update at the end of every month.

 

[OrbitalDawn]

I pay for the house, utilities, insurance (both cars), internet etc
SO pays for the groceries

We take turns in paying for restaurants and replenishing the alcohol supplies.

No shared bank accounts.

Which will be taking a major dip going forward, yes?

 

[bokdrol]

I have been married for over 22 years. We do not have a joint account, but individually we are responsible for paying certain bills. After so many years you stop thinking about "my salary" but rather about "our salary" regardless of who pays for what. Neither of us are big or reckless spenders, which helps.