money problems with girls

[Tinuva]

What is actually sad, is some of the replies in this thread. I earn between 4 to 5 times more than my GF. After almost 11 months together I still haven't asked her to move in. Then again we both from very conservative families. Money has not been a problem ever. In fact, I like how she knows that she shouldn't be wasting money, so much so that she even start to help me not waste money on worthless things, and I like it, I now have a partner whose opinion I can ask when I am unsure on whether I really need something or not.

As for doing thing together, there are countless things out there that you can do, that doesn't cost money, or cost very little money. Simple example that may work for some. Sunday evenings, Beuna Vista have Salsa dance classes for free. I buy a single draft, some times two, gf drinks water, and we learn to dance and have fun together. Another example, on a Saturday morning doing a hike on Lion's Head is free, fun and exercise. Example number three, taking the dogs for a walk on the beach is fun too, in Pretoria there are nature reserves that we went to, again free. Watching a movie at home, free. Learning how to cook together, cheaper that going to a restaurant, and probably one of the best things I learned to do with the GF.

Personally, I don't see how money is the issue, and why you should drop the girl because of it. Talk to her, you may be surprised with the result.

 

[^^vampire^^]

I earn 6 times what my gf does. She lived in her moms house and i had my own townhouse.
Decided to rent my place out and and move in with her at her moms place and pay lower rent there. (Her mom doesn't actually live there )

She covers her monthly costs and I cover mine. I think it's important for people to learn to manage their spending and learn how finances work and so I will not help her with these things. Because I earn a lot more than her I'll pay for our holidays etc and she just needs spending money. We also run a small sideline business that we both work towards which helps for holidays too.

At the end of the day you need to sit down and talk about what is comfortable for both of you.
My GF doesn't want me to pay for her stuff because she wants to be able to stand on her own 2 feet. If things don't work out between us one day she doesn't want to have the worry of relying on me which is a very mature way of looking at things so I think we both in a very good boat together.

 

[-Prismo-]

Also had same situation. Not sure what your issue is.. We've been married for 2years now.

Congrats to you too

 

[Zewp]

It's scary how many people here seem to think the solution to this problem is to immediately move in together and get married. What are you guys, 12 years old?

Hehe. Actually, it's become less normal and seems to be becoming less so. Feminism has created a world were only the exceptionally successful can afford to support a partner. Two income households have driven inflation and property prices through the roof. It's created a class system and income disparity which is bemoaned by the same sorts of people that created it. The same people are now trying to solve the problem with more misguided social engineering. I won't go so far as to say it's a recipe for disaster but, it will, I think, lead to even more interesting times. But, I digress.

Oh my god, I laughed so hard at this. Now women becoming equal and financially independent is not only a problem, but the driving force behind inflation and rising property prices? HAHAHAHAHA! You'll have to excuse me, but I'm going to share this post with my friends on Facebook. It's just too hilarious not to.

 

[Maverick Jester]

OP- your feelings are pretty normal to have, given your situation. Just sit down and talk to her about them, before your concerns and feelings form resentment and push you apart without her understanding why.

 

[Tinuva]

It's scary how many people here seem to think the solution to this problem is to immediately move in together and get married. What are you guys, 12 years old?



Oh my god, I laughed so hard at this. Now women becoming equal and financially independent is not only a problem, but the driving force behind inflation and rising property prices? HAHAHAHAHA! You'll have to excuse me, but I'm going to share this post with my friends on Facebook. It's just too hilarious not to.

Actually feminism is the root cause for far more than just inflation and rising property prices. If you laugh at Nick333's post, its because you lack the understanding, to really see just how bad feminism is for western culture overall. Basically, it is the same as back when people laughed at those that said the world is round when everyone believed it was flat.

 

[Jola]

Actually feminism is the root cause for far more than just inflation and rising property prices. If you laugh at Nick333's post, its because you lack the understanding, to really see just how bad feminism is for western culture overall. Basically, it is the same as back when people laughed at those that said the world is round when everyone believed it was flat.

Such BS.

 

[Zewp]

Actually feminism is the root cause for far more than just inflation and rising property prices. If you laugh at Nick333's post, its because you lack the understanding, to really see just how bad feminism is for western culture overall. Basically, it is the same as back when people laughed at those that said the world is round when everyone believed it was flat.

I'm sorry, but this seems incredibly backwards to me. If you want to argue that increased household income (which can happen for a variety of reasons) is the root cause of inflation and rising property, I could let it slide. But blaming feminism? Feminism isn't even the root cause of women becoming equal and achieving financial independency. That was a natural thing that was eventually going to happen regardless. Feminism might have helped it along, but it definitely wasn't the driving force.

Anyway, the way you and Nick are talking it sounds like you think it's a bad thing that households now earn two incomes. Would you have preferred women stay financially dependent on men, staying at home and looking after the kids like good little housewives while the men are away earning the bread and butter?

 

[Zewp]

Such BS.

Yeah, I think this is my cue to step out of the thread. I've been involved in enough arguments surrounding feminism to know that 99% of the time they don't lead anywhere and everyone just gets further entrenched in their arguments. If we're seeing such BS so early on, then I know not to even waste my time.

 

[-Prismo-]

Sorry I'm not understanding Nicky & Tinuva here,

You guys are (in the most basic way) saying that women fighting to be equal to men is messing with the worlds economy as a whole ? Because a lot of people have a big misconception on what feminism really is and I think that's where we should start.



As far as the correct feminism goes:

I think there's certain things only men can do and certain things only women can do and the rest is allowed to be passed off as a huge grey area.

 

[SoulTax]

I'm sorry, but this seems incredibly backwards to me. If you want to argue that increased household income (which can happen for a variety of reasons) is the root cause of inflation and rising property, I could let it slide. But blaming feminism? Feminism isn't even the root cause of women becoming equal and achieving financial independency. That was a natural thing that was eventually going to happen regardless. Feminism might have helped it along, but it definitely wasn't the driving force.

Anyway, the way you and Nick are talking it sounds like you think it's a bad thing that households now earn two incomes. Would you have preferred women stay financially dependent on men, staying at home and looking after the kids like good little housewives while the men are away earning the bread and butter?

Feminism was the driving force of gender equality though. Not that I am agreeing with Nick and Co. on the other points of course. Sure you can argue that it would have happened naturally at some point, but that point is moot considering it happened the way it happened. Feminist activism drove the western society to allow the female vote and opened the door to all other forms of gender equality that we see today.

 

[Nick333]

It's scary how many people here seem to think the solution to this problem is to immediately move in together and get married. What are you guys, 12 years old?



Oh my god, I laughed so hard at this. Now women becoming equal and financially independent is not only a problem, but the driving force behind inflation and rising property prices? HAHAHAHAHA! You'll have to excuse me, but I'm going to share this post with my friends on Facebook. It's just too hilarious not to.

The problem with you, Zewp, is you don't think about what is and what could and should be rather than what makes you comfortable believing. In that way you ate quite religious. I'm merely making rather obvious connections between feminism, two income households, inflation and rampant property prices. You're the one that assumes that blame should be apportioned.

The fact is the more money the middle class have access to the less value it has. The fact is middle class families have more but less valuable money these days because families general have at least two incomes these days. Families have two incomes these day because of feminism.

Yuck it up, Zewp. It's easier than thinking.

 

[Jola]

Yeah, I think this is my cue to step out of the thread. I've been involved in enough arguments surrounding feminism to know that 99% of the time they don't lead anywhere and everyone just gets further entrenched in their arguments. If we're seeing such BS so early on, then I know not to even waste my time.

Agreed.

Wholesale BS will now flow from the resident nutters so time to get out.

 

[Nick333]

I'm sorry, but this seems incredibly backwards to me. If you want to argue that increased household income (which can happen for a variety of reasons) is the root cause of inflation and rising property, I could let it slide. But blaming feminism? Feminism isn't even the root cause of women becoming equal and achieving financial independency. That was a natural thing that was eventually going to happen regardless. Feminism might have helped it along, but it definitely wasn't the driving force.

Anyway, the way you and Nick are talking it sounds like you think it's a bad thing that households now earn two incomes. Would you have preferred women stay financially dependent on men, staying at home and looking after the kids like good little housewives while the men are away earning the bread and butter?

What's astounding is that you will admit that increased household income leads to inflation but, ignore that women going out to work was a massive boost to household income. Calling BS then running off without making counter arguments just means you've encountered something you can't or won't deal with intellectual. So much for the mature young pragmatist.

 

[Zewp]

The problem with you, Zewp, is you don't think about what is and what could and should be rather than what makes you comfortable believing. In that way you ate quite religious. I'm merely making rather obvious connections between feminism, two income households, inflation and rampant property prices. You're the one that assumes that blame should be apportioned.

Sorry ol' Nicky. I reread your original post on this and no matter which way I look at it, it still sounds to me like you're accusing feminism of being the root of the world's economical problems.

Regardless, kindly answer my question, please:

Anyway, the way you and Nick are talking it sounds like you think it's a bad thing that households now earn two incomes. Would you have preferred women stay financially dependent on men, staying at home and looking after the kids like good little housewives while the men are away earning the bread and butter?

 

[I.am.Sam]

Nick and Zewp are at it again

 

[Zewp]

What's astounding is that you will admit that increased household income leads to inflation but, ignore that women going out to work was a massive boost to household income. Calling BS then running off without making counter arguments just means you've encountered something you can't or won't deal with intellectual. So much for the mature young pragmatist.

I'm disputing the idea that feminism is the root cause of the world's economic problems, as you seem to make it out to be, as well as disputing that women achieving financial independence and equality is as bad as you seem to think it is.

Despite what you're saying now, your original post still sounds very much like you're opposed to what feminism did for the equal rights of women and it came across as very accusatory.

 

[Jola]

I'm disputing the idea that feminism is the root cause of the world's economic problems, as you seem to make it out to be, as well as disputing that women achieving financial independence and equality is as bad as you seem to think it is.

Despite what you're saying now, your original post still sounds very much like you're opposed to what feminism did for the equal rights of women and it came across as very accusatory.

You should have followed your own recommendation

There is no merit to arguing with the cavemen.

 

[Tinuva]

Zewp, I thought you were going to get out of this thread, what are you still doing here?

Feminism definitely has it advantages. It allowed women to whatever pleases them, look after themselves ect. In fact they also brought some interesting viewpoints to politics and the work place. Those are all good things that came with the 1st movement of Feminism, and I have nothing against that. The thing is, it didn't stop there, it went onward where a select few went into the 2nd and 3rd movement and you now get to the point where it actually brought negatives along with it. I am not going to go into them, I merely wanted to point out, I am not against feminism completely, I am against the negatives that came with it. The way it seems, it looks like you are stuck blindingly looking at only a select few points, which I have no problem with, and you want to ignore the negatives that came with it. This thread is one of a trillion examples, guys have lost the confidence in relationships that they always had and along with that you will see high rate of divorces that is now the norm.

 

[WaxLyrical]

So basically your girlfriend is a drunk?

Move on.