Well, ****.
So leaving work this evening, I decide to see if I can start the bike, which I did, without too much trouble, which was great.
What was not great was learning, about 30 seconds later, what happens when a 288kg bike falls over. I jumped off, and automatically tried to catch it (one-handed at that), which obviously did not work. I'm glad I did not end up with my leg under the damned thing. Damage, from what I could tell, was not too bad: there's a scratch on the top of the fairing, and a pie-slice piece came off at the bottom, which I am assuming can be mended without too much trouble.
The stress, however, is that there was oil leaking out afterwards. Not a lot, but some. A quick google of the potential ramifications of this run the gamut from "don't worry, tiny repair, push the cover back, in, etc" all the way through to ''well, the engine's broken in half, may as well give up now".
It's going to the mechanic on the weekend, presuming I haven't fundamentally broken anything, but I'm just trying to prepare myself if I've possibly actually done real damage here. Any thoughts?
Also, thanks to whoever posted the how to pick up an elephant bike video a while back - worked perfectly.