Partner's health issues affecting relationship.

Gruntled said:
if u have gone through my post history then you would have seen what other ailments I was talking about. The most recent being her injuring herslef on a ladder and several doctors visits and physio treatments later it now seems worse than it was at first. Any other injury or sickness is pretty much the same - imagine something along the lines of "man flu" like women call it. whatever the most recent ailment is, it's the worst thing ever. She grunts and groans and moans about it repeatedly. Despite getting attention, treatment, medical care, whatever. If she did have an auto immune disease then surely a medical professional would have picked it up by now? As it stands, the docs and physios are baffled because their treatments aren't working and she just keeps coming back worse off than before. Even if she bumps her toe - the pain is allegedly excrutiating to the point where she will complain about it for hours on end, pull faces, grunt, groan, etc. about it.

Endometriosis is not the issue here. She suffers it 5 days a month and then some other health matter takes over for 90% of our lives. the white knights on this forum seem to want to crucify me because how dare I make a thing about a woman who suffers from endo? Again, the endo is not the problem.
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You ignored my post #60 so I will say it again - Munchausen.
 
Here is an idea. If she has immune disease then tell her to go on the Jordan Peterson diet. Meat only. Nothing else. She will soon stop complaining. Life can get pretty miserable if you don't have food variation.
 
maumau said:
You ignored my post #60 so I will say it again - Munchausen.
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Doesn't seem impossible reading through some of ops posts again

Munchausen's syndrome is a psychological disorder where someone pretends to be ill or deliberately produces symptoms of illness in themselves. Their main intention is to assume the "sick role" so that people care for them and they are the centre of attention.
 
Snyper564 said:
Doesn't seem impossible reading through some of ops posts again
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It is possible, of course, but you could say that about anyone with an actual chronic illness if all you have is a written description of daily symptoms and complaints
Snyper564 said:
Munchausen's syndrome is a psychological disorder where someone pretends to be ill or deliberately produces symptoms of illness in themselves. Their main intention is to assume the "sick role" so that people care for them and they are the centre of attention.
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Psychiatrists use assessment tools to evaluate a person for Munchausen syndrome. The diagnosis is firstly based on the exclusion of actual physical or mental illness. Just speculating without first doing that is pointless.
 
C4Cat said:
It is possible, of course, but you could say that about anyone with an actual chronic illness if all you have is a written description of daily symptoms and complaints

Psychiatrists use assessment tools to evaluate a person for Munchausen syndrome. The diagnosis is firstly based on the exclusion of actual physical or mental illness. Just speculating without first doing that is pointless.
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I think another problem is as op said wife does not wanna see a psychologist

So pretty much everything is speculation
 
Snyper564 said:
I think another problem is as op said wife does not wanna see a psychologist

So pretty much everything is speculation
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He confirmed she has endometriosis and has had multiple surgeries for it so that is not speculation. Although the pain is worst during menstruation it can cause pain, inflammation and immunity problems all the time. So it's quite possible for her to have daily pain and to be getting sick a lot from the endo alone. That is speculation, obviously!
 
C4Cat said:
He confirmed she has endometriosis and has had multiple surgeries for it so that is not speculation. Although the pain is worst during menstruation it can cause pain, inflammation and immunity problems all the time. So it's quite possible for her to have daily pain and to be getting sick a lot from the endo alone. That is speculation, obviously!
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We are aware of the endo and I also recommended the pill which can help - obviously described by the dr. We talking about the rest of the issues.

This part in particular

"if u have gone through my post history then you would have seen what other ailments I was talking about. The most recent being her injuring herslef on a ladder and several doctors visits and physio treatments later it now seems worse than it was at first. Any other injury or sickness is pretty much the same - imagine something along the lines of "man flu" like women call it. whatever the most recent ailment is, it's the worst thing ever. She grunts and groans and moans about it repeatedly. Despite getting attention, treatment, medical care, whatever. If she did have an auto immune disease then surely a medical professional would have picked it up by now? As it stands, the docs and physios are baffled because their treatments aren't working and she just keeps coming back worse off than before. Even if she bumps her toe - the pain is allegedly excrutiating to the point where she will complain about it for hours on end, pull faces, grunt, groan, etc. about it."
 
Snyper564 said:
I think another problem is as op said wife does not wanna see a psychologist
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C4Cat said:
He confirmed she has endometriosis and has had multiple surgeries for it so that is not speculation. Although the pain is worst during menstruation it can cause pain, inflammation and immunity problems all the time.
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If I was in constant pain I'd consider all possibilities, including seeing a psychologist.
 
Snyper564 said:
We are aware of the endo and I also recommended the pill which can help - obviously described by the dr. We talking about the rest of the issues.

This part in particular

"if u have gone through my post history then you would have seen what other ailments I was talking about. The most recent being her injuring herslef on a ladder and several doctors visits and physio treatments later it now seems worse than it was at first. Any other injury or sickness is pretty much the same - imagine something along the lines of "man flu" like women call it. whatever the most recent ailment is, it's the worst thing ever. She grunts and groans and moans about it repeatedly. Despite getting attention, treatment, medical care, whatever. If she did have an auto immune disease then surely a medical professional would have picked it up by now? As it stands, the docs and physios are baffled because their treatments aren't working and she just keeps coming back worse off than before. Even if she bumps her toe - the pain is allegedly excrutiating to the point where she will complain about it for hours on end, pull faces, grunt, groan, etc. about it."
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I get that, but people, and doctors, have a tendency to say its in your head or its not real if they don't have an explanation or understanding of the symptoms. Especially with women. They used to say that about endometriosis itself, that it was hysteria and all in the mind, because they were baffled. Women were simply dismissed as being hysterical. So I'm just saying it might very well be psychological or attention seeking, but that's the easy conclusion to come to, not necessarily the right conclusion. I agree about seeing a psychologist though
 
C4Cat said:
I get that, but people, and doctors, have a tendency to say its in your head or its not real if they don't have an explanation or understanding of the symptoms. Especially with women. They used to say that about endometriosis itself, that it was hysteria and all in the mind, because they were baffled. Women were simply dismissed as being hysterical. So I'm just saying it might very well be psychological or attention seeking, but that's the easy conclusion to come to, not necessarily the right conclusion. I agree about seeing a psychologist though
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Yeah that's why I linked the pain podcast, so much is misunderstood about pain. Especially when related to woman to (not being sarcastic). I'm just pointing it out as an option that must not be discounted
 
skimread said:
Here is an idea. If she has immune disease then tell her to go on the Jordan Peterson diet. Meat only. Nothing else. She will soon stop complaining. Life can get pretty miserable if you don't have food variation.
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That’s actually a great recommendation, a guy that I follow on YouTube had a really bad full body auto immune skin condition and he was at the end of his tether and then he heard about the meat diet and gave it a try. Showed results very quickly and after a few weeks his skin started clearing up and a month or 2 later he was “cured”. Going by the comments on that video it’s not placebo effect and it can be extremely effective with auto immune disorders.
 
Pak Fa Fui said:
Do you do special things for them or part with any cash out of guilt
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No because I'm not in a relationship with them, one is part of the inlaw family, one is a friend.

I can however feel for OP that it is driving them a bit nuts and willing to try anything for normality . My SO was sick for basically this whole year, at a point one just doesn't know anymore (fortunately she is better again now after managing to finally fight it off)
 
gertvanjoe said:
No because I'm not in a relationship with them, one is part of the inlaw family, one is a friend.

I can however feel for OP that it is driving them a bit nuts and willing to try anything for normality . My SO was sick for basically this whole year, at a point one just doesn't know anymore (fortunately she is better again now after managing to finally fight it off)
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Oh yes, the endo thing is bad and messes with the mind too.
 
RedViking said:
My wife got sick couple of months after we got married. No need to tell you what it is. I have been taking care of her ever since.

Washing machine and hang up.
Clean the house (aka put stuff in dishwasher and pack out)
Drive her around.
Fetch her meds.
Work very hard and long hours.
Make food.
Walk the dogs and feed them.
Get the bed ready before she goes to sleep.
Repeat.
7 years now.

She helps when she can. So I don't do all of this ALL the time. She has bad days and she has very bad days. Now and then a couple of good days. Sometimes I just cant keep up and then she tries her best even though she feels like crap.
Sometimes some good days then we escape to the Midlands.

One thing she does not do is complain. Yes, she has her low moments, and it breaks my heart, but most of the time she does more than people who have the best health in the world.
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Much respect to you.

@ OP, the fact that you posted this, probably means that you cannot see yourself in this position for the rest of your life.

There's nothing wrong with that. Some people can live in this situation and some can't, that's just how we're all wired differently.

Remember, however, very often in life, pursuing pleasure, results in pain. And similarly, enduring pain often leads to immense gain.
 
Ra Ra Ree
Kick her inna knee
Ra Ra Runt
Kick her inna
Other knee
Go drink a beer or 10.
 
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