So this means it has to be taken with a grain of salt. I'm essentially talking to the walls then.
Job done right then mybb. You win.
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Job done right then mybb. You win.
ArmatageShanks
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That's for the gullable oke who says you shouldn't believe what you read on the internet, just like most things its best taken with a grain of salt.
Urist
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There's an abundance of negative information as well, this forum is not an exception with all the bad news being shared and commented on. I'm not saying it's wrong what forumites are doing, i`m often spreading a lot of negativity myself, we should just be mindful of what information we consume. I often have to remind myself that my personal problems are more important to worry about than NHI, EWC, SJW schit etc.
Social media can turn really toxic with overconsumption and is not a substitute for human interaction.
Can't offer much in the way of help, but I was in a place many moons ago where I was planning my exit.
I talked myself out of it, go help, got medicated and I'm still around. Wasn't/isn't always easy, but there it is.
D3nz
Honorary Master
This thread is really hitting home right now. Someone I know is feeling very much the same way. Only difference is he has quite a lot going for him. Good job, although he's unhappy there, a family that loves him, although they've had enough now, own house, good car and yet he's so unhappy with his life. The way I see it, he is rational enough to realise there is something not quite right with him, so he can either do something to pull himself out of this or his further suicide threats will cause him to lose everyone who loves him. Not trying to be harsh Tera, but I hope these words hit home with you.
JerryMungo
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My point is it doesn't always matter whether the information is 'negative' or 'positive'... sometimes it's just too much and should be avoided. Set a schedule and stick to it.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/bernardmarr/2015/11/25/why-too-much-data-is-stressing-us-out/
Now I know that bipolar disorder is not just being 'stressed out' or TMI, but these things can certainly be aggravating factors or even triggers. You need to give your body what it needs to deal with cortisol on a daily basis. It's physiological. Exercising can help flush cortisol.
rietrot
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Whether you are talking to the walls or not is entirely up to you. Only you can help yourself if you want to be helped and that starts with taking responsibility and fixing whatever is shît in your life.
JerryMungo
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That's the tricky bit - logic doesn't always come into it.
I've been there - was put on meds by the doc some years back and delayed a flight to Rwanda where I literally demanded to be deplaned because of a panic attack. Never experienced that level of stress before so didn't know how to handle it. Took two weeks off work, chilled and evened the scales. Trouble is it took a year or more to feel comfortable with boarding a plane without valium after that. Haven't been down that road since, but have learned a lot about my finite resources and that sometimes you have to just call time out. Now I try to manage it instead of thinking I'm superman and taking on everything... the hard part is the self inflicted 'entertainment' where you constantly need a flow of information to keep yourself occupied. That usually leads to lack of sleep and it's a vicious cycle.
ArmatageShanks
Honorary Master
I agree
You, past present and future are entirely in your own hands, what has happened, is happening and will happen is up to you, no one else.
A dude I knew in school took his life. He was the funniest guy in the class. 2nd highest grades. Plenty of friends and a great family. He had so much going for him..then one day..... * shrug *
When I got depressed I would actually embrace the negative thoughts and use it as some kind of dark depth-less blanket to wrap myself in. Almost like a friend. It's hard to explain.
Sometimes it comes back, that dark feeling, I mentally acknowledge it, but then just shrug it off, refusing to go back into those dark thoughts.
Realizing you aren't broken, or weak, there is merely a chemical imbalance in your brain, that helps too.
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No. Some evidence says that weed can exacerbate mental health issues, especially the more potent weed.
The slippery slope thing is a myth. I should know. Last night was the first time I've blown someone for money to buy more crack.
Jokes, but really, the slippery slope thing is a myth repeatedly busted.
But.... tera, I still advocate caution around these powerful substances - especially in the state you are in. Unless your intentions are right, you can land yourself in real trouble. I wasn't sure whether to mention them at all - I wasn't sure that I was responsible in doing so. I must ask you to be very careful what you do with them. Even people who are not depressed can run into problems doing shrooms. If you are on psychiatric medication, they are even more of a concern. Still possible, but more caution is needed.
There is a shroom thread which I'd encourage you to read. I'd also encourage you to do some research on psychedelics and their effect on the brain.
Now the bad part. Shrooms can amplify any emotion you are feeling. If you are feeling nihilistic and hopeless, it will not be a good combo. Please understand, they drastically effect the way you think - for a short period of time. If you do shrooms, unless you microdose, you must not do them alone. If you were not depressed, I'd say wait until you feel good and then go ahead and do them alone. But for you being in the state you are in, it would be dangerous.
Just please be careful and do some research and reading. And do not forget - they are not silver bullets. You cannot pin all of your hopes onto them. They may help, but they also require something from you - change and work.
There was more I wanted to say but now I have forgotten. I mostly wanted to ask you to be very very careful if you want to use these substances. They can help BUT they can also be dangerous.
Can they be addictive? You can't physically be addicted to shrooms themselves, but I believe that susceptible people can find themselves abusing a lot of substances, including shrooms. I personally think the most important thing you can do, is keep your intention crystal clear in mind. Treat them as medicine and not fun.
Am I looking in a mirror?
I went through the exact same thing 12 years ago. I thought I was bipolar. I wanted to off myself, and it turns out it was just stress-induced depression stemming from work that had my serotonin shot to hell. I'm not saying you have that, but I was surprised that work did all of this to me, that it took me less than 6 months to actually just quit and move on with my life.
At that stage I was at the same job for 6 years, my boss at the time, I saw as a father figure, supportive for most of it, but things quickly went down the tubes around 2-3 years into the "relationship" (with an unnamed party partly to blame, although I don't want to do that). It took me a further 3 years just to realize what that dynamic did to me.
It didn't matter how I performed, I always felt lacking. I clung to the prospect of the work relationship getting back to what it was, but it never did. It also affected how my personal relationships evolved (or, let's say, devolved) into me just being alone.
I really wish I could give you some magic advice on how to overcome this, it's not easy, especially walking the path alone. Psychiatrists might help, but I've mostly found them ineffective (I'm a stubborn SOB)
NLP is where I would start (something I've done subconsciously most of my career, but lacked in my personal life). As cliche as this may sound, loving yourself, letting yourself be the person you look to to feel wanted/needed, and being content with being alone is what I would aim for if I were you. NLP does work. It just takes consistency and determination to make it work.
The amount of times I thought of suicide this year alone would make anyone think I'm depressed or manic. I've just had those thoughts since I was a kid (as far back as I can remember). And I just immediately tell myself to "**** off and get it right"
I have some anxiety of dying alone, or dying unexpectedly with no one noticing, not having access to my accounts / 2FA and banking/crypto, but that anxiety can be mitigated by setting up various legal documents/successors etc.
Stop looking to others for approval, approve yourself, be your own "light" to feel wanted. Stop putting so much weight into what others may think. And for god-sakes, change your work. I think you'll be so much better off in a more stable work environment, it would give you a great foundation to start working more on yourself.
This really depends on the person and how they react to weed. My reaction to it is just more relaxed/better sleep and maybe caring less about something that happened in the day. I have tried LSD and shrooms as well, as for the psychedelic parts of all 3 of those, I haven't experienced much of what is touted, pretty colours, maybe a few moments of "childhood like awe and entertainment of the more simpler things in life", but that depends from person to person. Some see dragons, I see pretty colours.
If you do okay on weed, and it doesn't make you giggle like a moron (I never had that, my cousin goes apeshit giggles or super dark "dying", whereas I always just chill and feel content), then maybe go for it?
I don't use it anymore, haven't for several months now, it can be a crutch, but hey, a crutch is there for you to walk while your broken leg is being healed. Just don't let it become something you NEED (addictive personalities and bipolar, boy those are combinations you do NOT want), but something you feel like you can lean on while working on getting there mentally by yourself.
Having said that, microdosing Shrooms have been shown as an effective way to combat depression and is actually legal and prescribed in some places (if memory serves, Colorado is making it legal or has made it legal? you can google it). Microdosing shouldn't give you any psychedelic experience at all as the dose is too small to make you see stuff, and I think it might be better than weed for day to day management of depression, but from what I've read about what you said, weed will definitely help in getting your stress levels down IF you're not one of those "I freak out on drugs or alcohol and get worse" type people
BTW, I run Arch
I believe shrooms are legal in Colorado for whatever you want to do with them - or perhaps that is just Denver, Colorado. Not sure.
Yes, shrooms have been shown to be effective at treating depression both when using microdoses and also when when using "regular" doses (ie enough to induce a psychedelic trip). Microdosing is probably safer than a full trip.
Yes, shrooms have been shown to be effective at treating depression both when using microdoses and also when when using "regular" doses (ie enough to induce a psychedelic trip). Microdosing is probably safer than a full trip.
cerebus
Honorary Master
You were the one who made a suicide warning, turned out to be a big nothing, just more attention seeking. If you want help ask for help but nobody is going to take your pathetic grabs for attention seriously anymore.
STFU dude
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