Sexuality a choice?

[Claymore]

No what I am saying is that kids made that choice in their developing years, their minds are now in that state of no return. There is no scientific proof that people are born gay

How did they "make that choice"? How many 3 or 4 year old kids do you know who are in any position to make choices about sexual orientation? Most of my (male) gay friends say they never felt any sexual attraction to women. Female gays do seem less certain in that respect though (the ones I know, at any rate).

 

[Jewelbox]

Wait so you one day as a child thought "hmmm, should I be gay or straight? What should I choose? Hmmm?"

Cause I didn't make that choice, I just turned out straight by default.

If you take 2 babies, a boy and a girl who each have their perfect formed anatomy in place, why would either of them WANT to choose to be different.
And why accept who you are for a number of years before wanting to be otherwise.

I believe that Kylie was unsuccessful in dating men and now wants to experiment with something VERY different, but, is it all that easy to make a sudden change?

 

[Mephisto_Helix]

How did they "make that choice"? How many 3 or 4 year old kids do you know who are in any position to make choices about sexual orientation? Most of my (male) gay friends say they never felt any sexual attraction to women. Female gays do seem less certain in that respect though (the ones I know, at any rate).

I'll second that ....... most of the gay friends I used to have said that even when they were young, there was never an attraction to girls. Many went through the motion of dating, marrying women because society dictated it, not because of attraction.

 

[Mephisto_Helix]

If you take 2 babies, a boy and a girl who each have their perfect formed anatomy in place, why would either of them WANT to choose to be different.
And why accept who you are for a number of years before wanting to be otherwise.

I believe that Kylie was unsuccessful in dating men and now wants to experiment with something VERY different, but, is it all that easy to make a sudden change?

that's senseless .......

 

[Geriatrix]

I...why would either of them WANT to choose to be different.

Thats what I'm saying, Theres no choosing. It simply is the way it is. Thats why I feel it must be built in.

Any guy who says its a choice is telling me that he can get a hardon by looking at a man, because he can choose to.

Me, I can't. I'm straight. I simply can't choose to find a man sexually attractive. My nature doesn't allow it. Oh and I already said Kylie is simply lookng for a little publicity. Think of that russian girl band Tatoo. Nothing like a little gossip to get peoples attention on you and increase sales.

 

[LabAnimal]

Dunno.

What I do know is that gays will have a much better chance of being accepted socially if it was for BS like this.

... and you are stereotyping!

 

[LabAnimal]

It's a choice and a lifestyle, nothing biological about it...... PERIOD !

really? Where's your proof??? So by what you say, there's a glimmer of hope that you're turned on by another man, but you choose to ignore your urge, YES?

 

[Nemanjas Bullet]

I think it's probably a grey sliding scale, which allows people who are towards the middle (bisexual) to choose. If you're towards the end (straight or gay) you aren't going to be able to have the option of choice.

I reckon to be 100% unequivocally straight, you'd have to find every single woman more attractive than any man, which just doesn't quite sound right. I'm not saying you'd want to have sex or whatever, but just in terms of relative attraction.

 

[|tera|]

I'll second that ....... most of the gay friends I used to have said that even when they were young, there was never an attraction to girls. Many went through the motion of dating, marrying women because society dictated it, not because of attraction.

Ahem...sir...

Yeah, I agree with you. Difference with me though, I have had an attraction to woman (beautiful woman, who became my friends/ladies) and on the other hand, I don't feel that bad about it, I've had attraction to men as well (oh hell, I'm dead, DJK will own me for life)

Let's just say I've made a few turns here and there in my life and at the end of the day, after stepping on the wrong ledge and falling in the water, I've decided to be a loner, lone wolf tera

 

[LabAnimal]

Ahem...sir...

Yeah, I agree with you. Difference with me though, I have had an attraction to woman (beautiful woman, who became my friends/ladies) and on the other hand, I don't feel that bad about it, I've had attraction to men as well (oh hell, I'm dead, DJK will own me for life)

Let's just say I've made a few turns here and there in my life and at the end of the day, after stepping on the wrong ledge and falling in the water, I've decided to be a loner, lone wolf tera

yup. I know who i am, women just don't do it for me - nadda, niks! - This is why i find it so amusing when some know-it-all comes along and say that i chose this!

These people who keep on spouting choice - why don't you "pretend" to be gay for a year, with all the bells and whistles that comes with that title, and get some guy weak at the knees and "pretend" to be in a relationship with him... Doubt you'd want to - you're str8, you want your woomaaan!, You're doing what you feel is right for you - following your hormones, your instincts... and you presume the arrogance that my sexual attraction is a choice? - Please! Its NOT a choice! I will not pretend!

There are SO many men who pretend to be this str8 image around all his friends and family, and behind their backs leads a bisexual or gay lifestyle. Lying to his Wife & Children, and the rest of the family - all because he is or was being forced to portray this image in the first place. - This person chose to lie to himself, to his family, and people get hurt going through this kind of process! - And that IS a choice

 

[Mephisto_Helix]

just ignore the ignorant peeps Lab bru ........

 

[|tera|]

yup. I know who i am, women just don't do it for me - nadda, niks! - This is why i find it so amusing when some know-it-all comes along and say that i chose this!

These people who keep on spouting choice - why don't you "pretend" to be gay for a year, with all the bells and whistles that comes with that title, and get some guy weak at the knees and "pretend" to be in a relationship with him... Doubt you'd want to - you're str8, you want your woomaaan!, You're doing what you feel is right for you - following your hormones, your instincts... and you presume the arrogance that my sexual attraction is a choice? - Please! Its NOT a choice! I will not pretend!

There are SO many men who pretend to be this str8 image around all his friends and family, and behind their backs leads a bisexual or gay lifestyle. Lying to his Wife & Children, and the rest of the family - all because he is or was being forced to portray this image in the first place. - This person chose to lie to himself, to his family, and people get hurt going through this kind of process! - And that IS a choice

I typed a whole message, hit submit and gave an error (I'm on GPRS).

Thing is for me, I haven't ever felt straight or gay. I don't lean towards a man or woman either. I've known I'm a messed up individual from an early age. The few relationships I've had in my life were bound to fail, because I always feel like a failure with another person when we are romantically involved.

You seem to be more responsible than other gay man I've heard about LA. Some men live straight lives, with a wife, whole works, but they have experiences with other men, which is a bad thing if you ask me.

If I was straight and married, I wouldn't fool around with a guy (if I was truly gay) and expose my wife to a possible risk of disease or worse death because of disease I gave her.

It's a tough balance at the end of the day. Even I get aroused or have a sexual desire at times. If I act upon it, which I have, that's when I start drowning.

It sucks not having anyone and not wanting someone because you know you are an awful person from your core (no low self esteem here though, just facts)

 

[bullfrog]

It sucks not having anyone and not wanting someone because you know you are an awful person from your core (no low self esteem here though, just facts)

Why would you call yourself an awful person?

Being gay or bisexual doesn't make you a bad person does it?

I'm sure you just haven't quite figured out what you want or which way you lean yet. Not being sure about something like this doesn't make you a bad person at all, it just means you haven't quite figured out who you are yet.

Being gay doesn't make you a bad person either. As long as you don't lie and try half lead a straight life while doing the thing on the side...

I'm also currently of the opinion that it's not a choice. I can't imagine why anyone would choose to make their life harder on purpose if they could easily prevent it.

 

[PPC_SouthAfrica]

Well just maybe she is looking to bat for the other team is the fact that she has been hurt so many times buy men that is now wants to look else where. Ever thought of it that way???

 

[LabAnimal]

I typed a whole message, hit submit and gave an error (I'm on GPRS).

Thing is for me, I haven't ever felt straight or gay. I don't lean towards a man or woman either. I've known I'm a messed up individual from an early age. The few relationships I've had in my life were bound to fail, because I always feel like a failure with another person when we are romantically involved.

You seem to be more responsible than other gay man I've heard about LA. Some men live straight lives, with a wife, whole works, but they have experiences with other men, which is a bad thing if you ask me.

If I was straight and married, I wouldn't fool around with a guy (if I was truly gay) and expose my wife to a possible risk of disease or worse death because of disease I gave her.

It's a tough balance at the end of the day. Even I get aroused or have a sexual desire at times. If I act upon it, which I have, that's when I start drowning.

It sucks not having anyone and not wanting someone because you know you are an awful person from your core (no low self esteem here though, just facts)

Ultimately you need to listen to yourself, confront what makes you uncomfortable and decide if you're going to let your self esteem control your life or not! Having that someone special can add so much to your life!

 

[Picard]

Why do "some" (let me not stereotype) gay men act feminine. They are men who are interested in men. Why don't act like men. This emoticon springs to mind.

 

[gerhardd]

Why do "some" (let me not stereotype) gay men act feminine. They are men who are interested in men. Why don't act like men.

Why does it bother you how other people act? Does it harm you in any way? Does it directly affect you? So why worry about it?

Live and let live!

 

[|tera|]

Why would you call yourself an awful person?

Being gay or bisexual doesn't make you a bad person does it?

I'm sure you just haven't quite figured out what you want or which way you lean yet. Not being sure about something like this doesn't make you a bad person at all, it just means you haven't quite figured out who you are yet.

Being gay doesn't make you a bad person either. As long as you don't lie and try half lead a straight life while doing the thing on the side...

I'm also currently of the opinion that it's not a choice. I can't imagine why anyone would choose to make their life harder on purpose if they could easily prevent it.

I'm quite sure that I'm not gay or bisexual. Let's just say after I lost my mind a few years ago (it's back in a sense) I've realised I'd rather not put anyone in future at risk (partner, possible children etc.)

Ultimately you need to listen to yourself, confront what makes you uncomfortable and decide if you're going to let your self esteem control your life or not! Having that someone special can add so much to your life!

Thanks LA, thing is though, I'm sure it's not a self esteem problem, it's a psychological problem more in that sense. I've tried confronting my issues, but haven't found solutions yet. It's going to take some time though and I don't mind waiting.

Why do "some" (let me not stereotype) gay men act feminine. They are men who are interested in men. Why don't act like men. This emoticon springs to mind.

I've asked this question before as well. I think I asked it here in another thread that dealt with homosexuality.

I was asked the question, would I be more comfortable if a straight acting gay man made an advance at me or a feminine acting gay man, I think I would lean toward a straight acting dude ROFL'th

 

[Vegeta]

Tara you need to jump out of that closet buddy. We're all fine with it

But as a male "HUMAN BEING" or the more scientific term, as a "GUY"... I dont see how everyone regardless of sex isnt attracted to woman, dear god you get heavenly woman!!
Woman are just plain sexier!! Even my completely straight girlfriends admit that woman are sexier than men. Its a fact!! Someone post some heavenly pics. I've never met a woman that when pushed to be completely honest doesnt agree with this fact. I think men and woman should all be attacted to woman... o dear that would mean that men would never get any but who cares thats the way it should be, O WAIT!! I TAKE THAT BACK!

 

[LabAnimal]

Why do "some" (let me not stereotype) gay men act feminine. They are men who are interested in men. Why don't act like men. This emoticon springs to mind.

Not all gay men act feminine. Not all gay men dress up in drag, not all gay men want to be with an over feminine gay boy/man - There are alot of gay str8 acting men who are with other str8 acting men!

I myself am very much middle of the road, i find it shocking if someone tells me they didnt know i was gay. I'm very much relaxed and am myself most of the time. I don't pretend, prance around flapping making it public knowledge that i'm here and i'm "queer"! - I just choose not to lie about my sexuality if and when the topic about my lifestyle or my partner comes up. - why must i lie!

My life partner of (*g*) almost 7 years this coming November is one of these feminine type gay men - no he doesnt like to dress up in drag (he has all in the name of charity - spar ladies walk) but other than his feminine side, he's got quite a manly build compared to me. No, He's not at all the type of gay guy i would go for, (I very much prefer a real man) but I fell for him because of the qualities he has that's lacking in most str8 acting gay men that i know or have met! We're both in the medical field, (he more than me ofcourse) - and I've seen how he works with people, how he makes a difference, how much he cares, how much he wants to learn more about his profession, and how hard he works to make a difference!

The fact that i find other manly men sexually attractive is only natural for me. I respect their sexuality despite many of them won't respect mine! - Thus i enjoy a quick glance and move on with my life.

Gay people are not all the same - I find it quite offensive that someone can compare me to some hideous drag queen that would parade around in a frock!