Should I stay or should I go?

cyxx

Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
10
Im a 26 year old female, who has been with my fiance for nearly 6 years. On Jan 2, he wrote off our car (which was fully paid up) whilst driving under the influence, got arrested and charged and due to this my insurance will not pay out. No other cars were involved and nobody was hurt. We only have one car and this is a big blow, as I have no idea how to even move forward from hear.
We have been living together since we started the relationship and we bought a flat together 3 years ago. Our incomes and everything is joint so this becomes my financial loss too. three years ago he wote off our first car under the same instance (drinking under the influence), which to me should have been a lesson on its own. He only has a learners license and is to appear in court in April. Do I stick around and go into another joint venture t obtain another car and hope this will be the last of such an investment? Am I willing to fork out for the hefty fine he is sure to get in April? I have been wanting to emigrate for the past year but with the criminal record attached to his name it means he will practically never be able to do so.

I need urgent advice!
 

ToxicBunny

Honorary Master
Joined
Apr 8, 2006
Messages
87,142
The choice is entirely yours.

But I will say that if he is caught driving under the influence too often, he will get thrown in jail and well your problem may to some degree solve itself.

As an addition, if you're considering asking this kind of advice on a public forum, then look at your relationship as it stands and that should possibly give you the answer you're looking fr.
 

mercurial

MyBB Legend
Joined
Jun 12, 2007
Messages
39,145
Why are you still with this loser? Dump his ass and get a real man who is capable of being responsible and mature.
 

PhreakBoy

Executive Member
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
6,659
You need to decide how committed you are. And whether he is committed to you? (Engaged for 6 years and still not married?)
 

Keeper

Honorary Master
Joined
Mar 29, 2008
Messages
23,588
leave him, there are much more mature males out there.
 

blunomore

Honorary Master
Joined
Jul 8, 2007
Messages
26,789
If you're asking if you should break up with him, what would be you reason - his drinking? His bad driving? The fact that he is holding you back?

What are you reasons for loving him?
 

LazyLion

King of de Jungle
Joined
Mar 17, 2005
Messages
102,857
um, I woulda said hasta la vista after the first car was written off. I don't want to sound mean... but it sounds like you are a sucker for punishment. You can do better than him. He sounds like a leech. He should have replaced that first car for you at his own cost. Seriously, you need to do the tough thing here and think of how he is using you and wasting your money.
 

Deenem

Expert Member
Joined
Apr 20, 2005
Messages
1,724
I you stay with him then the next time he'll be driving around drunk with your kids in the back seat.

Leave him.
 

cyxx

Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
10
We have been through alot togethr and I love him wih all my heart. Yet, I constantly feel that I am paying for his actions and the way he chooses to live his life. I want to leave because I know that he is taking me for granted I just need to develop the balls to do it
 

mercurial

MyBB Legend
Joined
Jun 12, 2007
Messages
39,145
We have been through alot togethr and I love him wih all my heart. Yet, I constantly feel that I am paying for his actions and the way he chooses to live his life. I want to leave because I know that he is taking me for granted I just need to develop the balls to do it
If he loves you as much as you love him, then he won't be doing the things he is doing to you. Simple as that.
Here, grab my bawlz and return it when you're done.
 

Keeper

Honorary Master
Joined
Mar 29, 2008
Messages
23,588
wait a sec here...for us to help you we need 1 bit of info...are you hot? what is your weight...?

help us to help you, to help us help your fiance out the door, helping us in turn to give help.
 

feo

Honorary Master
Joined
Jan 22, 2006
Messages
13,423
wait a sec here...for us to help you we need 1 bit of info...are you hot? what is your weight...?

help us to help you, to help us help your fiance out the door, helping us in turn to give help.
If you have nothing good to say Keeper, just keeper your mouth shut mmmkay.

Anyway, try asking him to go on an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and if he refuses then you'll know how likely it is of him changing his ways.
 

KSINGH

Executive Member
Joined
May 5, 2008
Messages
6,974
get out before it's too late! I know 2 or 3 people that have had their husband waste the best years of their life. Now they can't buy a house, have garnishing orders on their salary, blacklisted, too old to have kids and the list goes on.

but we dont know his side of the story....hmmmm....
 
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