Single mom & dating

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Cheri_N

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I am seeing a new guy and was wondering about a couple of things. I am a single mom to a 3 y/o. How many men will date a single mom? How do they treat the child/ren? Are they jealous of the child? Resent the child? Will they accept the child as their own? Obviously I am worried, if I had to choose between my child and A, then I will be choosing my child.
 
Very difficult. Man needs to learn to love both mom and kid so it's not so easy for the man but I agree any sign of anything out of the ordinary or any sign that the your kids welfare and/or happiness is being compromised by the relationship than end it..
 
Well it is kinda hard to say, not all men are the same. Always mention you have a kid and then see the reaction. I doubt men would be jealous, we are not really that way inclined.
 
My advice is to not go around dating too much, but rather to find a man who is what you are looking at settling down with, and make sure he is comfortable with the fact that you have a child from the very beginning. It definitely happens, you just need to find the right man!
 
prop depends on how the child treats him and/or how much if likes the woman
 
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Cheri_N said:
I am a single mom to a 3 y/o. How many men will date a single mom?
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Plenty but only the good ones.

How do they treat the child/ren? Are they jealous of the child? Resent the child?
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Perhaps initially but this should pass so don't react too quickly. Remember no matter the child's age, the ankle biter will also want to make their territory, so to speak.

Will they accept the child as their own? Obviously I am worried, if I had to choose between my child and A, then I will be choosing my child.
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With time but if there are no signs of this acceptance then walk away very quickly.

Good luck, you'll find your man no doubt. BTW don't feel pressured to engage in a physical relationship up front. Do some old fashioned courting first.
 
I guess the guy that you are looking for will be the type that will accept.
If he does not, then he is not a good guy.
 
There's usually alot more than that though, the other problem [other than the child] is the "real" father . That's a whole lot of baggage right there, this guy sometimes want to be involved with the kid still and/or the mother , especially if he's paying some sort of alimony / support .

But i'd say the "ease" of accepting the child is most likely based on the guy's previous experiences with kids. I think a guy who didn't have kids before, might struggle a little more getting use to it [not necessarily a jealousy thing, just something he's not use to]. I mean it's one thing going through a whole pregnancy with a girl, being there when the kid is born, going through all the screaming,feeding and crapping and kinda experiencing all the limitations/special things of having a baby....totally another to just being thrown into a relationship with a kid already there and not even sure whether you like the mom, nevermind the kid, without any previous experiences with raising kids etc.

That's why i think alot of single moms tend to go for divorced/single dads instead (imho).
 
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Here's the truth:
It really all depends on how hot you are...
 
Keeper said:
Here's the truth:
It really all depends on how hot you are...
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Ah, now that explains everything...

Thanks for all the info guys - I haven't had sex with him (yet) - taking it slow - seeing where it will lead. He does treat my son well and he has a daughter (6 y/o) from his previous marriage, so maybe, maybe I don't need to worry too much.
 
You guys can make jokes all you want, but it's a really crap. On the one side you don't want to be single, but on the other side you can't allow just anyone near your son cause it will screw him up seeing people come and go in and out of his life. Best to just wait till the right person comes along, and not waste time and energy.
 
Chrissy has the tail by the right dog there.

You need to be more concerned about the kid than the guy. Too many single moms worry about what the man will think - should be concerned about what the kid thinks when the new daddy disappears or transmorphs into newdaddy{2..}
 
Cheri_N said:
Ah, now that explains everything...

Thanks for all the info guys - I haven't had sex with him (yet) - taking it slow - seeing where it will lead. He does treat my son well and he has a daughter (6 y/o) from his previous marriage, so maybe, maybe I don't need to worry too much.
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Er, the fact that he also has kids from his previous marriage changes the whole scenario. You could probably disregard half the previous comments.

The guys is already a parent, he knows his relationship with his kids, and will almost certainly understand yours with your child, cant see him getting jealous or anything.
 
Moederloos said:
Chrissy has the tail by the right dog there.

You need to be more concerned about the kid than the guy. Too many single moms worry about what the man will think - should be concerned about what the kid thinks when the new daddy disappears or transmorphs into newdaddy{2..}
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The kid is 3 years old, wont be as difficult for he/she to adjust to a new parent. If he/she was older, then this would be much more of an issue i think.
 
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