The Handshake

Chevron said:
A while ago we had a thread here on handshakes and some people said they don't shake hands at all, while others said they didn't know you even had different handshakes.

I just came across this and thought I'd share on the importance of a good handshake:

http://www.slideshare.net/BernardMarr/6-ways-not-to-shake-hands
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point 6 is a little off. For instance, the response I get when squeezed hard is not, 'I need to run away' but rather 'This twat needs to be taught a lesson'. Either way it comes across as aggression and will be met with whatever your natural response to aggression is.
 
There was a guest that stayed with us at the hotel and we saw him very often. So we became acquainted with one another and shook hands. Then the hotel staff informed my colleagues and myself that he used to masturbate religiously in the hotel lounge and food area. Now I carry instant hand sanitiser.
 
Zewp said:
Shaking hands is such a disgusting practice and it makes no sense at all. Especially because you have no idea where the person you're shaking hands with had his hands before it. He might have scratched his herpes rash just before he shook hands with you.
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Are you licking your hands after shaking hands with someone? :confused:
 
Do you touch dog turds and piss stains simply because you don't intend to lick your hands afterwards?

It's simply gross. Shaking hands is an odd, outdated custom. I wish people would stop with it. It makes no sense at all.
 
Oh my what society has become...so much for man cards
 
Zewp said:
Do you touch dog turds and piss stains simply because you don't intend to lick your hands afterwards?

It's simply gross. Shaking hands is an odd, outdated custom. I wish people would stop with it. It makes no sense at all.
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Yeah... men should touch dicks and women should gently chest bump each other. Much more interesting imo.

I wouldn't normally shake hands just for the sake of it but meeting someone for the first time or after a long time or if someone you know extends their hand for a shake (for whatever reason) then I oblige. I generally have a thing about folks touching my hands or feet.
 
There's nothing worse than a poofie handshake :(

Everything is dirty- might as well shake a person's hand.
 
scudsucker said:
You guys are ridiculous.

Hands get dirty in 1000000000 ways, yours included. Your immune system is designed to cope with the dirt. Some other guy's dirt/piss/cum/R20 hooker juice is just going to be fair game for your white blood cells- IF it even gets that far.
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100%

Though it's these people that don't develop resistance to germs etc that get nailed whenever they actually do encounter something dodgy...

Self-fulfilling prophecy...
 
Georgios said:
There was a guest that stayed with us at the hotel and we saw him very often. So we became acquainted with one another and shook hands. Then the hotel staff informed my colleagues and myself that he used to masturbate religiously in the hotel lounge and food area. Now I carry instant hand sanitiser.
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:eek:
 
The only problem I have with handshakes is when I'm with someone cooler than me - which is many, many people - and they come in for a fancy multi-part handshake, and I'm meant to know spontaneously how to respond and I don't, and it ends up with me firmly grasping his thumb and shaking it, and then each of us disentangling ourselves from the awkwardness.
 
& don't touch that dollar bill in your wallet either....never know who touched that...what a bunch of pu**ies
 
MartyMarts said:
Yeah... men should touch dicks and women should gently chest bump each other. Much more interesting imo.

I wouldn't normally shake hands just for the sake of it but meeting someone for the first time or after a long time or if someone you know extends their hand for a shake (for whatever reason) then I oblige. I generally have a thing about folks touching my hands or feet.
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Why do we have to touch at all when we meet someone? :confused:
 
Tun@ said:
& don't touch that dollar bill in your wallet either....never know who touched that...what a bunch of pu**ies
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Oh come off it. Are you really pissed because I don't see the point in grasping someone's dirty hand, then moving my hand up and down? I guess I'll just have to accept that I'm not a 'man' then. Oh well, such a pity. I was looking forward to the chest-beating.

Seriously. If you measure someone's masculinity by whether they shake hands or not, you've got much bigger problems.
 
Zewp said:
Why do we have to touch at all when we meet someone? :confused:
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I honestly have no idea. iirc, the handshake has something to do with showing you're not armed or not carrying an Okapi in your hand or something.
 
Zewp said:
Oh come off it. Are you really pissed because I don't see the point in grasping someone's dirty hand, then moving my hand up and down? I guess I'll just have to accept that I'm not a 'man' then. Oh well, such a pity. I was looking forward to the chest-beating.

Seriously. If you measure someone's masculinity by whether they shake hands or not, you've got much bigger problems.
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When you leave school you will find that phobia very prospect limiting.
 
R13... said:
When you leave school you will find that phobia very prospect limiting.
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Phobia? I still shake people's hands out of custom. I'd just prefer not to. It's ridiculous when you think about it.

And thanks for insinuating I'm in school. That really validates your post. :)
 
Zewp said:
Why do we have to touch at all when we meet someone? :confused:
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It's a ritualistic relic of our social evolution that's quite entrenched in modern society. So taking an educated guess, I'd say that it would stem from a time when it was used to show respect to someone (in a pleb demographic), or to show that one or both parties were not armed.

Sure beats sniffing arseholes and delousing...
 
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Zewp said:
Oh come off it. Are you really pissed because I don't see the point in grasping someone's dirty hand, then moving my hand up and down? I guess I'll just have to accept that I'm not a 'man' then. Oh well, such a pity. I was looking forward to the chest-beating.

Seriously. If you measure someone's masculinity by whether they shake hands or not, you've got much bigger problems.
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I thought he was just saying money is also dirty :confused: Which it is....
 
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