Unexpected Pregnancy

[mercurial]

Why not just state exactly how a baby inconveniences a man as much as it does a woman instead of throwing your hands up in the air? I'm genuinely curious.

I mean, a woman's life has to literally be on hold for a few months due to being prego. You can't beat that in terms of "inconvenience".

The fact that I need to spell this out, worries me.

 

[Ancalagon]

Pro-life vs pro-choice - no point in arguing further. We will never agree.

 

[mercurial]

No one is arguing about whether or not the baby/fetus should die. We're simply saying the lady cannot make such a big decision on her own. The father of the would-be child is part of it.

 

[Ancalagon]

Why?

The MOST important thing, if you ask me, is that the parents to be must AGREE on the raising of a child. On having a child. Else, the mother will resent the child, and that is no good. The same would happen if the situation were reversed - the father would resent the child. I would never want to bring a child into the world unless both parents were 110% committed to that child. I would rather abort if the mother were in doubt, than have a child that one parent does not want. For my children, if I have any, BOTH parents must want them. Not just me.

 

[The_Ogre]

After rereading the OP's first and second post, I think this thread is trollbait.

tl;dr: Girlfriend is about 5 weeks pregnant

but she got an abortion yesterday. Well started it at least. So there is no way for me to verify if I was the father. But ye, if we were going to have the baby.

She went for a scan and immediately "started" the abortion?

 

[BobsLawnService]

That is utter rubbish. The child belongs to BOTH parents

You're right. A child belongs to both parties. A foetus does not.

 

[ngwe23]

Why not just state exactly how a baby inconveniences a man as much as it does a woman instead of throwing your hands up in the air? I'm genuinely curious.

I mean, a woman's life has to literally be on hold for a few months due to being prego. You can't beat that in terms of "inconvenience".

So a baby has to be killed simply because he/she is being an "inconvenience". I mean how selfish is that? If she didn't want to be pregnant then why forego contraception (The guy is to blame it this regard as well).

And most people are only considering the interest of the irresponsible parents and no one has concern for the unborn.

Anywhere, who am I, it's not as if I am a saint.....

 

[ponder]

Her body, her choice, end of story.

 

[Bona Botse]

So a baby has to be killed simply because he/she is being an "inconvenience". I mean how selfish is that? If she didn't want to be pregnant then why forego contraception (The guy is to blame it this regard as well).

And most people are only considering the interest of the irresponsible parents and no one has concern for the unborn.

Anywhere, who am I, it's not as if I am a saint.....

As BobsLawnService said above, at 5 weeks a child doesn't exist yet. Otherwise you also commit mass infanticide each time you masturbate.

 

[MrDilemma]

Wow this has really blown up since I went to sleep, will try get to everyone. First things first, just to clarify, I did know about the abortion and supported it because neither of us can deal with the responsibilities of a child right now. I realize now I wasn't clear on that.

*snip*
5 weeks pregnant minus about 2 weeks to cater for the time between menstruation and ovulation, puts you at around 3 weeks since conception.

For some reason I thought it was taken from the first menstruation that she missed. That makes a lot more sense, and makes it possible that she didn't cheat. Thanks

why are you ashamed of something that she chose to do, if she did make the choice on her own. she obviously has her reasons for deciding to take this route and you need to respect her for this *smip*

Sorry you misunderstood me. What I meant is that I am not proud of going this route, even though I know it is a necessity. I fully support her in this decision as I think it is the right one. Doesn't make it any easier though.

Is there a reason for this mistrust other than the timing? It sounds like there is, and where there is smoke...

She has always craved attention from guys. But dont/didn't think she would go this far.

After rereading the OP's first and second post, I think this thread is trollbait.
She went for a scan and immediately "started" the abortion?

She found out she was pregnant and saw a doctor on Sunday. Went for the scan and got the pills on Monday. It was rushed because the baby might have been 12 weeks, which meant that any longer and it would require a surgery.

The bigger question here should rather be who the hell in this day and age still has unprotected sex and there by gets "accidentally" pregnant.

There is no such thing as accidentally pregnant, only stupid pregnant.

She was on the pill, and we were careful about when we had sex.... but obviously not careful enough. From here on out, I am going to have a wrapper on the whacker. Taking no chances.

On the discussing being had about "Her body her choice". At the end of the day, yes it is her decision, but it is far more complicated than that. The father should be informed and consulted before making the decision as it does have a massive affect on both their lives; albeit the mother is inconvenienced a bit more. It is a bit ridiculous to think that the mother can just make this decision on her own without saying anything to the father at all. He has the right to voice his opinion; it comes down to her what she does with it. What I believe is that the father can't force the mother to have the baby (and rightly so), but at the same time the mother can't have the baby against the fathers wishes and then expect any sort of support.

That is my 2 cents on that matter.

Thanks everyone, you have been extremely helpful and put me more at ease with the whole thing. One last thing, how long after conception do the symptoms normally start showing, because a week after the possible conception, she started feeling bloated and got sick frequently during the day. Bare in mind that there is a complication with this pregnancy as she has a large cyst.

 

[Kloofvreter]

Look at all the woman agreeing with Celine. Yet run to the courts for child support when they do decide to keep it? LOL goddamn women.

 

[Ancalagon]

The pill is not all that reliable unfortunately. Get her to get an IUD or something.

EDIT: Sorry to hear you both had to go through that, OP. Not pleasant.

 

[STS]

As BobsLawnService said above, at 5 weeks a child doesn't exist yet. Otherwise you also commit mass infanticide each time you masturbate.

False analogy, sperm cells and egg cells carry dna but are not able to create a human being on their own. Once a zygote starts dividing it is on its way to becoming a human being and is the same as debating whether a grandpa is more human than a toddler.

It's more "merciful' to abort a child in the womb, but it is still a human, that child in the womb doesn't become ANYTHING else but a human.

If a child doesn't exist, why do you need to step in and kill what is in the womb?

 

[Celine]

While you are correct to a degree, that is not the right way to do things in a healthy relationship. If it was his unborn fetus he should have some say in the destruction of his son/girl/octopus.

But yeah you seem pretty hostile. Perhaps one to many morning after pills.

i'm not hosile in any way. the girl made a decision whether sperm donator liked it or not. she would have done it behind his back if he had sais no.

 

[Celine]

Wow. What about the man? It doesn't stuff up his plans? :wtf:

what friggin plans? the only plans he had to begin with was to sleep with her. then she falls pregnant and starts doubting her integrit. then she has an abortion and he's all against it. double standards here i think.

 

[mercurial]

what friggin plans? the only plans he had to begin with was to sleep with her. then she falls pregnant and starts doubting her integrit. then she has an abortion and he's all against it. double standards here i think.

Wow, not only are you hostile, but incredibly narrow-minded. I feel for your husband

 

[Kloofvreter]

what friggin plans? the only plans he had to begin with was to sleep with her. then she falls pregnant and starts doubting her integrit. then she has an abortion and he's all against it. double standards here i think.

I must say, you are actually quite good at this trolling game!

 

[Celine]

You ignored the part where she needed the "dad" in order to conceive the baby. Simply by that association, any decision related to the baby is no longer the woman's alone.

she didn't "need" the "dad" it probably wasn't supposed to happen while they were wining and dining.

 

[abandonallhope]

So ultimately men have NO say in whether they can have a child or not ?

If the oh so entitled lady decides she doesn't feel like it anymore, it's just too bad for the would-be father.

 

[Bar0n]

Does the law require the consent of the father (married to the mother or not) to abort a baby?