Unexpected Pregnancy

[STS]

Forcing a woman to go through pregnancy against her will isn't a good enough reason?

who asked about forcing? everyone in this thread has asked if the man can take the child on the woman's behalf. nobody is forcing the woman to have a child that she does not want, etc. even if a woman goes ahead and aborts, is it not important to discuss?

 

[semaphore]

who asked about forcing? everyone in this thread has asked if the man can take the child on the woman's behalf. nobody is forcing the woman to have a child that she does not want, etc. even if a woman goes ahead and aborts, is it not important to discuss?

My original post was that she should have at least spoken to him about it, yes its her decision but still a decent person would have at least asked for some input, she hastily did the abortion. So yeah dump her ass.

 

[Kloofvreter]

who asked about forcing? everyone in this thread has asked if the man can take the child on the woman's behalf. nobody is forcing the woman to have a child that she does not want, etc. even if a woman goes ahead and aborts, is it not important to discuss?

It seems apparently not. Bitches be trippin'

 

[Bona Botse]

who asked about forcing? everyone in this thread has asked if the man can take the child on the woman's behalf. nobody is forcing the woman to have a child that she does not want, etc. even if a woman goes ahead and aborts, is it not important to discuss?

I thought we were discussing what happens after all is said and done and discussed ad infinitum. What happens if the woman STILL doesn't the baby (particularly the carrying and delivering thereof) and the man STILL wants the baby?

 

[Ancalagon]

Well what will you do if she says she wants an abortion? Will you force her to keep it? What can you do? You can tell her you want it, but it is up to her. She has to swallow the abortion pills, not you. She has to bleed for days afterwards. She gets flooded with hormones that make her protective of the fetus, not you.

 

[STS]

I thought we were discussing what happens after all is said and done and discussed ad infinitum. What happens if the woman STILL doesn't the baby (particularly the carrying and delivering thereof) and the man STILL wants the baby?

then the woman has to abort. but then, the relationship has moved to the point that the man see's that what he wants and what the woman wants conflict, and they can make a call from there on what to do. he can seek another partner, she can get sterilised, they can decide that now is not the right time, etc

 

[STS]

Well what will you do if she says she wants an abortion? Will you force her to keep it? What can you do? You can tell her you want it, but it is up to her. She has to swallow the abortion pills, not you. She has to bleed for days afterwards. She gets flooded with hormones that make her protective of the fetus, not you.

i must have those hormones too then, because i was nerve-wrecked about everything to do with my son.

you cannot force her to do anything, but you can discuss, and maybe persuade her to give the child a chance at life, and that the father will be the sole parent

 

[Bona Botse]

then the woman has to abort. but then, the relationship has moved to the point that the man see's that what he wants and what the woman wants conflict, and they can make a call from there on what to do. he can seek another partner, she can get sterilised, they can decide that now is not the right time, etc

OK, then we are in agreement that ultimately it's the woman's choice. Of course, how the man deals with it afterwards is also his choice.

I agree with others though that if the man doesn't want the baby but the woman is determined to have it, then the man should have no further rights or responsibilities towards the baby. This gets tricky though, because how do you verify this? Unless agreements are drawn up and signed and filed somewhere (how romantic, but then again marriage is also technically an agreement on paper so...) then the woman might claim "we agreed that we were trying for a baby" and the man could flat out deny this and even claim that they used condoms all the time, which aren't 100% guaranteed to prevent pregoness.

 

[abandonallhope]

OK, then we are in agreement that ultimately it's the woman's choice. Of course, how the man deals with it afterwards is also his choice.

I agree with others though that if the man doesn't want the baby but the woman is determined to have it, then the man should have no further rights or responsibilities towards the baby. This gets tricky though, because how do you verify this? Unless agreements are drawn up and signed and filed somewhere (how romantic, but then again marriage is also technically an agreement on paper so...) then the woman might claim "we agreed that we were trying for a baby" and the man could flat out deny this and even claim that they used condoms all the time, which aren't 100% guaranteed to prevent pregoness.

And do you also reckon it's ok if the woman kills their baby without a mention to the father ?

 

[Kloofvreter]

And do you also reckon it's ok if the woman kills their baby without a mention to the father ?

Ach, Gott, not this argument again. /facepalm

 

[Bona Botse]

And do you also reckon it's ok if the woman aborts without a mention to the father ?

FTFY

That's got more to do with manners though, and good manners aren't mandatory.

 

[SoulTax]

It is ultimately the woman's choice, but common courtesy and compassion for your SO dictates that they should at least be in the loop in some way shape or form, before the abortion happens. If not, then relationship over, simple as that.

 

[RiaX]

I just think its an injustice to demand child support should the child be yours yet when it comes to abortion you have no rights or say. I agree its her body but it takes two to tango.

doesnt matter. The reasoning is that abortion can leave her sterile if DNC procedures are done or can cause damage to her uterus if cytotec is used. There is no physical harm to the man's body in this case. So yes while it does take two to tango you cannot force high dose hormones (emergency contraceptives), cytotec (prostagladin analogues) or medical procedures that have potential risks, hence you have no say.

You cannot force someone to put them self at risk for any reason what so ever. Her body her decision, just like how you have no say what type of birth she will give natural or c-sec.

Now for child support its different. Assuming the sex was consensual and the child is born yes it becomes your responsibility because you help make it.

 

[Celine]

Women who undergo abortions are nothing more than cold blooded murderers. That child could have been someone great but you killed him/her.

get over that crap there is no life until a child is actually born and breathing i.e. takes it's first breathe.

 

[Celine]

I hope she's trolling though, otherwise I feel really sorry for her husband

"Our child? Fsck off! This is MY child, I carried it for nine long months!!!"

that's EXACTLY how it is in my house until my 2 daughters start a biatch fight. then they are not mine lol.

 

[Celine]

Wow Celine, You simply don't get it. Your obvious disdain for the masculine sex is palpable, had your fair share of domineering partners that you are a little sour over?

I don't think that anybody is saying that a man should be able to put a stop to a woman's decision to have an abortion if she chooses to. It is her body and let's face it, unless the guy is 100% committed through thick and thin, she will take the brunt of the responsibility as well.
The point is that any healthy relationship requires communication on difficult topics. The woman can have the final say, but she should "always", in a healthy relationship, have the discussion with her SO. If only to help him come to terms with her decision and make him feel like more than a "Sperm Donor" as you put it.

That fact that you reduce the male role in this whole affair to the crude words of a "Sperm Donor", speaks absolute volumes. It is the equivalent of me standing around with my mates and talking about my SO by saying: "Ya the kitchen staff has been slacking lately, no need to consult her on whether I get to buy a new sports car with our family savings, her opinion does not reach outside the kitchen."

there is a difference when there is a cimmitted relationship. in this instance the OP doesn't seem nearly as committed now does he? in a long standing relationship there is a different story i.e. when i was pregnant with my 2 daughters and in a relationship with their father. i knew he wasn't about to run off we both made the decision to have kids.

 

[Celine]

So what if he said he wants the baby? It changes absolutely nothing. She was clearly not ready for this and she would have had the abortion anyway.

this.

 

[Celine]

My original post was that she should have at least spoken to him about it, yes its her decision but still a decent person would have at least asked for some input, she hastily did the abortion. So yeah dump her ass.

there is nothing to discuss. the longer you leave the pregnancy going the harder it is to abort the pregnancy.

 

[A Non Blonde]

get over that crap there is no life until a child is actually born and breathing i.e. takes it's first breathe.

:wtf: Celine, you're a woman hth can you even think that let alone type it out live!

 

[Celine]

I thought we were discussing what happens after all is said and done and discussed ad infinitum. What happens if the woman STILL doesn't the baby (particularly the carrying and delivering thereof) and the man STILL wants the baby?

to bad for the man he is not the one having to go thru the pregnancy, hormonal changes, child birth etc. get over yourselves all you "christian" like men of this forum. you do NOT EVER have a say in what, when, how a woman does with the pregnancy. if she wants to abort she does not have to consult with you, she can consult with her best friend if she wants to.