why i will never have kids

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bodhi

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decided that i will never have kids - this is easy saying this when I'm still single - and hopefully the day I meet and marry my future wife she will understand.

Raising kids is the ultimate responsibility - and I don't know if I am willing to bear this responsibility. I love kids - especially my niece and nephew.

I think the world is MUCH more complicated than 30 years ago when I was born - new circumstances than those of my childhood. Aside from the financial implications (not having the ability to support your kids financially must be a big fear among parents) , I don't think I am the right kind of person to be a dad.

And I would go crazy if something bad would happen to my kids - yes I am kind of an emotional dude :o

And I don't want to raise my kids in a pretty screwed up world ...

My decision might be - and could be - considered to be very selfish but hey you're most welcome to your own opinions.

I admire people who have the courage to undertake the ultimate responsibility and raise kids in this world and our times.
 
Those were my thoughts while I was single pretty much exactly the same reasons. Even told my wife to be when I first met her that I was not interested in having kids. Then when I reached 33 everything changed decided to try for kids, I now have twin girls who are nearly eight and all I can say is that they are the most precious things a person can be blessed with. Children change you in ways you can't even think of when you are young...
 
web said:
Those were my thoughts while I was single pretty much exactly the same reasons. Even told my wife to be when I first met her that I was not interested in having kids. Then when I reached 33 everything changed decided to try for kids, I now have twin girls who are nearly eight and all I can say is that they are the most precious things a person can be blessed with. Children change you in ways you can't even think of when you are young...
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well said - thanks :)
 
those were also my thoughts exactly then i met and married my wife and she had 3 children already and now we have a laat lammetjie who is 13 yrs old and she is the best gift in the world.
 
You make it sound like an impossibility.

I think its the ULTIMATE gift to a loving / happy couple (or someone or a couple willing to adopt). What better feeling in the world is there than cradling a baby human being in your arms & realizing that you are RESPONSIBLE for its life / well being? Witnessing your baby grow into a child, teenager, young adult & then adult is a gift that forever ties you to your partner in a way that only other parents know the feeling of.

Thats how I imagine it anyway. :) I am not a father yet, but the wife & I want to parents. We know its a HUGE responsibility and its something we both want to do, at least twice anyway. :)
 
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Ah sweet. I got a warm and fuzzy feeling inside hearing you guys talk about your kids. Nice to hear your perspectives on children.
 
I didn't want to marry at 25 let alone have kids.
Now a decade later I'm married for years already and have a 3 year old daughter. Both my wife and daughter are the best things that have happened to me.
 
Had friends over this weekend. I never wanted kids they made sure I knew why.

I do not think people know how bad they are at parenting. And they all think they are the best parents ever.
 
I seriously doubt that anyone who is young and single wants to have kids at that particular moment. I certainly didn't. Next thing I know I met the perfect woman, married her and now have a 9 month old girl who is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me.

It will come...
 
My experience is the same as everyone elses here. I had a crap childhood and didn't want kids but now I have a two year old son and he is awesome.

Mila, I know where you are coming from (Don't get me started on my sister-in-law's undisciplined brats.) but that doesn't mean you have to be a bad parent. Whether the world needs more Gingers is a discussion for another time.

And it's true. Small kids really do respond very well to firm discipline and you have to start it young.
 
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Ha, dude, you think it is your choice to have kids or not, ALOT of people cant even have kids, and some (a particulary high percentage in fact) battle like crazy to have kids.

I know this from experience, my wife and I finally have a beautiful baby boy after 1 miscarriage and 1 ectopic.

But on topic, once you have a kid, your perspective changes, you wont worry about your fears as much anymore, you just enjoy the moment.
 
I took the decision against having children a long time ago and went through some heavy times with my partner who really did want to be a mother. I have great respect for people who plan their offspring carefully and don't simply spawn because nature allowed it to happen.
 
flarkit said:
I took the decision against having children a long time ago and went through some heavy times with my partner who really did want to be a mother. I have great respect for people who plan their offspring carefully and don't simply spawn because nature allowed it to happen.
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+10

This its unplanned shyte does not work for me.

And Oops is a "nesting" woman's excuse because she wanted one..
 
Mila said:
It's called birth control :wtf:
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I think he meant the other way around...for some, you can't just decide to have kid...some couples find it extremely difficult to conceive. :)
 
Voicy said:
I think he meant the other way around...for some, you can't just decide to have kid...some couples find it extremely difficult to conceive. :)
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Oh :o:
But you can adopt. So it's a planned thing. Some people just needs more money and planning than others.
 
If you are questioning your own ability to raise kids before you have them, then you are someone who should have kids. You have already stated that you love kids, so you are on a solid base. Nothing focusses you like the responsibilty of making sure your kids are healthy and happy, and you can leave no greater legacy than a well adjusted confident member of society. I too did not want to bring children into this world, and they have brought me far more happiness than worry.
 
dweezil said:
decided that i will never have kids - this is easy saying this when I'm still single - and hopefully the day I meet and marry my future wife she will understand.
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Yeah, I hear you. I also don't want children unless I'm 100% sure that I can cover it financially. e.g. I wouldn't want to send kids to a gov school. So private it is. 60k p.a. for school, a bit of preschool and some Uni. (60k*12 + 20k*3 + 50k*7) = R1,3 mil. For a nice childhood you also need a proper house & security. 2x safe cars. Well rounded education implies traveling. Kids are expensive business...and thats just me thumb-sucking...I'm sure there are hidden costs all over the show.
 
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