Why is a break up hard...

marriage isn't a small decision.
she's thinking about the future, kids and her childhood dreams. she's probably already planned the wedding in her head.
you're still having fun and don't really understand her biological clock.
i think it's important to think a bit about what you want your future to look like and how she fits into that picture.
you both need some vision and you both need to be honest about any potential issues.
kids, finances, health and other issues all come into play and can put pressure on a relationship.
maybe go through the vows, think about if you can honestly make those promises.
if not, rather be honest with her.
if yes, why do you still want to keep your options open?
 
Also .. We have to get our own beers :(
And do our own dishes, HTF are we going to eat sandwiches after a break up? Bread and ham doesn't make itself into a delicious sandwich you know :(
 
yah i know what you mean, i blew some stuff too in the last few years and i wish i didn't. what is keeping you from making the next move ? are you not sure if she is the right one, or are you scared that you might fall in love with someone else ?
 
superfantasties said:
yeah :(
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And what makes it especially difficult is that you may only realise how special it was in a few years time ...

Go and give her a kiss and sleep over it ... For as long as it takes to make a definite decision.

Maybe you guys must go on a long trip together, take some leave and travel through Europe, you can still get cheap accommodation and train tickets before you are 25 (can't remember the age cut-off). Or if you can't afford that, something local will also do.
 
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phaktza said:
I hear you dude. I guess it's because when it was good it was really good. We tend to shrug off the reasons it didn't work and the bad times, eventually all that's left is the happy bits. It's a human coping mechanism, but it still makes the early days really hard.

Good luck, I'm there and it ain't pretty.
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+1
 
superfantasties said:
24 both
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Sho, you quite young, commitment shouldn't be on your mind atm, nor hers.

I think you must just talk to her about it. tell her exactly what you going through. I dunno, I'm a few years younger than you, and I've avoided relationships like the plague, rather not get involved in that whole hoo-haa until I'm feeling like settling down :p
 
Hmm.. I don't think age is much of a factor though. Many who marry at a young age, just been to a wedding of a 19 year old and a 21/22 year old. It depends on responsibilities one can bare, decisions one can execute, and the rest just puzzles into place, also on how mature you are and how you view commitment maturity.
Heard of the couple, in GWorldRecord, 85yrs and still carying, read their interview, touching indeed.
 
The fact that you are asking this means she cannot be that special to you. Quite sad you can tell us how she is the no 1 thing in your life but you don't actually want to be with her. Makes little to no sense.

Break up and let her find someone who wants her because you just seem unhappy being with her. I can put money on the fact you will be just as unhappy without her and you will regret it because sometimes nothing can make a person happy so you need to think about her and what would be best for her.
 
From a lady's perspective:

If you are as unsure as what i am reading, then these are my suggestions:
1. perhaps go away somewhere with her for a few days. - there is a long weekend coming soon
or
2. As for a little time out, maybe 2 weeks. dont call, mail etc... then meet up & discuss it.

I seem to read that you truly love this lady but that you are scared of commiting for the rest of your life.
Are there people pressurising you (both) to get married because you have been in a relationship for a long time? Tell them all to get lost. < If this is the case then discuss this with your lady, then you can both agree on what to tell people if they ask.
 
What is love? Maybe i dont love her, but i still have all these feelings? Those feelings aren't made up and i dont have them for anyone else...
 
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