Would you meet for forgiveness?

K

Kitten

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There is a person from my past who hurt me fairly badly, and is now wanting to get together to try and explain and possibly get some sort of forgiveness ... Now to me it was a very big deal, and I am just not sure how to handle this ... To close that chapter it would be best to go, but then again by going it could bring back everything I have put away. What would the best way to handle this be in your opinion?

Thaaaaaaaanks *drink*
 
It depends what they did. What did they do and how long since they did it?
 
I've explained as best I can without going into too much detail, this is after all a clean forum ;) .... Postman, I wish! But he says he needs to get past what he did and blah blah .. i'm just left wondering if it may help me too.
 
Is this the same guy from the other thread, can't remember what it was called, if so then I rate you go along with what everyone else said in that thread.
 
No, not the same guy ... this guy I haven't heard from in years and he suddenly appeared. Rather creepy actually. Hmmmmm.
 
It was probably the low cut top which got me into this mess in the first place ;) nah ... I'm just trying to figure out if I might let go of it by speaking to him. As it stands I pretty much hate him.
 
I would meet that person - but I will bring other friends with as well as a backup if anything should go wrong.

Accept forgiveness. It is up to you to decide what to do from there.
 
I would recommend that before you do meet him, if you do, that you go read the prince as well as the discourses, both by Niccolo Machiavelli. hehe. But then again I'm just mean :D
 
Kitten : If it was me, I'd tell the person where to get off and carry on with my life as if they'd never gotten hold of you.

(i've been in what I think is a similar experience, and yeah.. i've cut the person out entirely... and I'm happier for it tbh)
 
These are the original Twelve Steps as published by Alcoholics Anonymous:[11]

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Click to expand...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/12_steps
 
i dont know - relationships dont make a lot of sense to me. You can end up entering into something with the best intensions and end up getting shafted. I'm just looking after myself - sick of being messed around. Ive never been good at the forgiveness thing, but i reckon a chance at it is worth taking. The worst it can do is make you feel ****, and you've felt that before and know what its like, and that you will emerge from it. It could also help give you closure.
 
ToxicBunny said:
Kitten : If it was me, I'd tell the person where to get off and carry on with my life as if they'd never gotten hold of you.

(i've been in what I think is a similar experience, and yeah.. i've cut the person out entirely... and I'm happier for it tbh)
Click to expand...

Have they asked for your forgiveness yet?
 
They tried once... I told them to fsck off....

They tried again, I burnt them.. but still not as badly as they burnt me originally.
 
Reading between the lines here I'd suggest you tell him to go shove his request where the sun don't shine. If you've moved on already then him dredging up the past for his own selfish reasons won't be to your benefit imo. He deserves to feel like schit if I'm reading between the lines correctly and you're not obligated to make him feel any better about it, nor should you want to imo. Let the fscker wallow in his own self-pity - he must learn to reap what he sows...
 
Yeah im torn between telling him to get lost and actually going through and hearing what he has to say ... I keep hearing that its not healthy to hold grudges and best to forgive etc etc ... pretty difficult choice to make actually.
 
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