Crossroads, advice needed

i'd go on a couple of dates with her, try spend even more time with her, hold hands, hug her, kiss her, sleep with her! marry her! :D
 
Don't worry about what she said to you, tell her how you feel about her.
You don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking "what if?" or "if only"
 
So have a tentative date set for this week sometime, half a life builds up to this point, its scary and yet incredibly exciting :)
 
I truly believe the conversation we will be having is something that can only be done face to face, the phone just simply isn't appropriate. At least that is my belief.
 
alf, I really wanted to do that last night.

However, this way I have a day or three to get all my thoughts right, my ducks in a row as it were, and approach her from a confident position.


The stories of the heart are so interesting...

Thanks again to everyone for all the advise
 
requiem said:
alf, I really wanted to do that last night.

However, this way I have a day or three to get all my thoughts right, my ducks in a row as it were, and approach her from a confident position.


The stories of the heart are so interesting...

Thanks again to everyone for all the advise
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Don't you think that you've wasted enough time already mate?? I say drive to Pta straight after work and do it.
 
If you have strong feelings for her why would you want to keep on being friends and pretending you don't? That sounds like a miserable sort of existence.

Anyway I have a feeling she does remember what happened - maybe she feels awkward because you didn't respond well to her so she pretended she didn't remember? It might have taken a lot out of her to open up - same as it is for you building up the courage to approach her.
 
requiem said:
Hey guys, yes new nick, don't want a the average reader to be able to trace this to me.


Many many many many moons ago I met this girl, sister of a friend.

I was 13 at the time, i'm now 25, she is 23. Over the years, me and this girl became incredibly close, and due to the nature of our childhood, I sort of grew up with them, sortof like another son in the family.

The inevitable occured, I started to like this girl, and my own fear of rejection and destroying what was in the friendship at the time prevented me from ever acting on it.

There was always something, but never did it go too far, I spent many countless nights crying over this girl, wanting to push the boundaries, but my own fear prevented me from doing anything.

I eventually (about 3 years ago) accepted the fact that my "love" for her was simply infatuation and we are too close to pursue it further.

I have noticed though over the past 4 years every serious relationship I had there has been jealousy from my SO about her, and every single one of this girls boyfriends have been jealous of me. We always just shrugged it off, and pretended it wasn't there. Over and above that she and I have had a running agreement for the last 3 years that if we hit 40 and aren't married we will get married.

If you've ever watched "Just Friends" you will have some idea of how the relationship between us was like.

So recently, I got out of a fairly long term relationship, and a few weeks later my friend called me and invited me over for supper. So we went out and had a nice meal. Then we went pub crawling, and spoke and had a few drinks, and a few more. So being slightly inebriated things started to happen.

And now for the clincher, she told me she loves me, always has, and has been in love with me for near on a decade. I was so shocked I had absolutely no idea how to respond, so I told her she's lying, and it's the booze talking. She refuted this and spent about 10 minutes, telling me why, when and how she fell in love with me. Anyway, we got a bit drunker, and a bit more happened.


So this girl has been in love with me since high school, and has never broached the topic, has always been too afraid, much like myself..


I took her home, and she made me stay the night, (was already quite early in the morning). I didn't do anything further, you know the whole respect thing.




I went out with her again on friday, and she seemed reserved, slightly drawn back, and defensive. We spoke about what happened on wednesday, and she could only remember the second last pub we were at. Either she is lying, or truly doesn't remember. Either way the situation is slightly delicate atm.

My question is rather simple. How do I proceed, do I tell her what she said, or pretend she didn't say anything?
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What you waiting for,take the damsel in distress.*peanut voice*doooeeett
 
Bizkit87 said:
sadly, + 100 :(

speaking from experience there, hey!?
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Aye, +100 from me too. Regret is the worst thing you could possibly experience. I reckon every negative feeling we feel stems from regret.

I also agree with cerebus. Staying friends with someone you're that in love with is not a good idea. Everything you ever do with her will hurt because you'll keep wondering "what if"... Don't torture yourself. Approach her about it and see what she says. If she shoots you down, remain acquaintances but start distancing yourself. It hurts at first but in the long run, it frees you up to focus on someone else. There are few things as pathetic as when someone brings their baggage and previous loves into new relationships. If you can't focus on the person you're with, rather leave it.
 
Nocturnity said:
Aye, +100 from me too. Regret is the worst thing you could possibly experience. I reckon every negative feeling we feel stems from regret.

I also agree with cerebus. Staying friends with someone you're that in love with is not a good idea. Everything you ever do with her will hurt because you'll keep wondering "what if"... Don't torture yourself. Approach her about it and see what she says. If she shoots you down, remain acquaintances but start distancing yourself. It hurts at first but in the long run, it frees you up to focus on someone else. There are few things as pathetic as when someone brings their baggage and previous loves into new relationships. If you can't focus on the person you're with, rather leave it.
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WOW :eek:

do you know me in person? its like you are describing the exact thing i went through a few months ago..... guess our problems are not that unique....
 
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