Crossroads, advice needed

Bizkit87 said:
WOW :eek:

do you know me in person? its like you are describing the exact thing i went through a few months ago..... guess our problems are not that unique....
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Yeah, it's kinda funny how I often read about other peoples' issues and think they're describing mine. My events were more than 2 years ago though. ;)
 
I phoned her today, she is working this week, leaving me either wednesday or friday to see her.

I await wednesday with great expectations.
 
requiem said:
I went out with her again on friday, and she seemed reserved, slightly drawn back, and defensive. We spoke about what happened on wednesday, and she could only remember the second last pub we were at. Either she is lying, or truly doesn't remember. Either way the situation is slightly delicate atm.

My question is rather simple. How do I proceed, do I tell her what she said, or pretend she didn't say anything?
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Don't assume she's lying. She might be denying it and is using the alchohol as an excuse, but true colors shine when you're drunk (IMO). So take it as it was Wednesday night. This chick digs your socks off. You dig her socks off.

She might feel a bit shy because of what she told you (I know I would be if I got drunk and told a chick how I felt about her) and/or probably really doesn't remember. But still

Harden the **** up
AND ASK HER OUT
Make it a proper date.
Tell her what she should wear (you can go into detail or just say semi-formal or whatever, I usually do "detail")
And take her out to a romantic dinner

Whats the worst that can happen? You find out you're not meant to be and you go back as friends? Boo ****ing hoo. Take a leap of faith, go with YOUR gut (and the info she divulged) and just ask her out. I bet you she is dying to.

Instead of talking about your feelings for her show her.

Unless you don't want to date her?
 
requiem said:
I phoned her today, she is working this week, leaving me either wednesday or friday to see her.

I await wednesday with great expectations.
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BTW dude, why not post under your normal nick? It's a bit gay don't you think? It's not like I bother to create a new nick everytime something "embarrassing" falls on my plate I need help for. Serias. Be yourself dude. Who cares what you say or how you say it.

Do the romantic date thing Wednesday night. Trust me I'm loco and that **** will work. Don't talk about it just do it... talking about something like this might spoil it.

Actions speak louder than words. And she's either regretting telling you her feelings because she was drunk and probably think you don't like her the way she does you blablablabla.

Just
do
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet






And uncle Acid will forever hate you if you don't report back on what happened!
 
requiem said:
I'm crippled by fear of what might go wrong , she has been my best friend for half my life. Losing that will be hell
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How will you be able to lose it? Crippled by fear? Whats the worst thing that will happen? You lose her friendship? If she was any kind of a good friend to you then you'd be able to go back as per normal without much fuss. If you weren't real good friends then you'll lose her, but then, good riddance. Tough luck. Try again. ... etc

FEAR is what keeps you from happiness. Why fear the unknown? Live. Learn. DO. You only have 1 life dude. Why **** around with it. It's not like there's any do-overs
 
Dude, while I'm reading all of these replies to your post. PLEASE don't "confront" her or "tell her" what she said or "talk about it"

Just SHOW her. Romantic date FTW!

If she then brings it up during the evening LET her. But don't be the guy who'd like to talk about something that will make her uncomfortable and push her into a corner. When that happens she will usually be "confused" or "not sure about the whole thing" or "regret what she said" or say NO because you're putting her on the spot.

Romantic date. (Platonic-ish)
Don't take flowers (get the restaurant to put a single red rose on the table with candle light and rose petals on the table)
Eat
Have fun
enjoy conversation
Go home
ask her out again before as you drop her off
make it fun and EASY to hang out with you even after such a drunken night

If talking about can be avoided do it unless she brings it up. Don't be nervous. Be yourself. As if you've done it a million times.

AND DONT GO OUT PUB CRAWLING

K? Now you have 24 hours to get your butt in gear and organize something :p
 
requiem said:
So have a tentative date set for this week sometime, half a life builds up to this point, its scary and yet incredibly exciting :)
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Best feeling to have ever. **** fear dude. The adrenalin itself of making a positive change and facing a fear like that is well worth it
 
hey acid, thanks for the hardball advice.

alf101, never :)
 
yeah you need some hardball advice man. You need to do something daring for once in your entire life.
 
ToxicBunny said:
It involves alcohol and young women and is somewhat emo... My guess is its DJK... :p
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Oh fsck you, you skirt-wearing hippie traitor...:mad:

If I was the OP I'd have banged her, her sister and moved on to her cousin already.

To the OP: really dude, you need to grow a pair and deal with the way you feel. If you have feelings for her, she has feelings for you, and you're both pretty keen to do something about it, then wtf is the question here? For once logic and love are on the same page by the sounds of things...
 
Voicy said:
Goodness crisis dude, I've been in your position ... I was too scared ... I lost out. Hell, I'm currently in a similar position and STILL too scared.

Don't make the same mistake I did and about to make again...
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Jees man, who falls for the "friends" crap twice. I learnt my lesson the first time: chicks are for shagging. And if you're going to be friends the least you should be is **** buddies.

Sorry, it didn't end well in my case. Maybe you've have better luck.
 
requiem said:
Hey guys, yes new nick, don't want a the average reader to be able to trace this to me. Many many many many moons ago I met this girl, sister of a friend. I was 13 at the time, i'm now 25, she is 23. Over the years, me and this girl became incredibly close, and due to the nature of our childhood, I sort of grew up with them, sortof like another son in the family. The inevitable occured, I started to like this girl, and my own fear of rejection and destroying what was in the friendship at the time prevented me from ever acting on it. There was always something, but never did it go too far, I spent many countless nights crying over this girl, wanting to push the boundaries, but my own fear prevented me from doing anything. I eventually (about 3 years ago) accepted the fact that my "love" for her was simply infatuation and we are too close to pursue it further. I have noticed though over the past 4 years every serious relationship I had there has been jealousy from my SO about her, and every single one of this girls boyfriends have been jealous of me. We always just shrugged it off, and pretended it wasn't there. Over and above that she and I have had a running agreement for the last 3 years that if we hit 40 and aren't married we will get married. If you've ever watched "Just Friends" you will have some idea of how the relationship between us was like. So recently, I got out of a fairly long term relationship, and a few weeks later my friend called me and invited me over for supper. So we went out and had a nice meal. Then we went pub crawling, and spoke and had a few drinks, and a few more. So being slightly inebriated things started to happen. And now for the clincher, she told me she loves me, always has, and has been in love with me for near on a decade. I was so shocked I had absolutely no idea how to respond, so I told her she's lying, and it's the booze talking. She refuted this and spent about 10 minutes, telling me why, when and how she fell in love with me. Anyway, we got a bit drunker, and a bit more happened. So this girl has been in love with me since high school, and has never broached the topic, has always been too afraid, much like myself.. I took her home, and she made me stay the night, (was already quite early in the morning). I didn't do anything further, you know the whole respect thing. I went out with her again on friday, and she seemed reserved, slightly drawn back, and defensive. We spoke about what happened on wednesday, and she could only remember the second last pub we were at. Either she is lying, or truly doesn't remember. Either way the situation is slightly delicate atm. My question is rather simple. How do I proceed, do I tell her what she said, or pretend she didn't say anything?
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haha this is like reading my past ah good old days but I did get the girl and left her because she got pms 24/7. Did she ever make the first move? Why can't you just be friends for life is that so bad? Relationship is work, waste of time and if you are only doing it to not to be alone or for sex or cuddling and what not don't do it. Friends are the best!

Women are not constant, no human is every one changes over the years so don't think because you perceived the world your way she does the same, she sounds like a classical denial, greedy emotional type where life should be about her the way you described it. Be friends love is fake :D it is just a chemical feeling, real love is loving someone without feeling it ;) Plus you don't want to have the problems of someone ells bothering you every day do you? I assume you have enough of you own problems and so on? Why does it sound like you are the “hunter” and she is the hunted, let her go and see if she will go for you instead, women want what they can’t have mate so try that. Also women are a waste of money and I would say just because you were friends for ever does not mean you should be together. The concept of childhood sweet heart might seem romantic but it is all hogwash don’t go for that destiny bull, make your own destiny and the best advice ever is don’ search for love let love find you (personally you will be so much happier without a women with pms24/7 because it can get scary!)
 
Empiricism Philosopher said:
haha this is like reading my past ah good old days but I did get the girl and left her because she got pms 24/7. Did she ever make the first move? Why can't you just be friends for life is that so bad? Relationship is work, waste of time and if you are only doing it to not to be alone or for sex or cuddling and what not don't do it. Friends are the best!

Women are not constant, no human is every one changes over the years so don't think because you perceived the world your way she does the same, she sounds like a classical denial, greedy emotional type where life should be about her the way you described it. Be friends love is fake :D it is just a chemical feeling, real love is loving someone without feeling it ;) Plus you don't want to have the problems of someone ells bothering you every day do you? I assume you have enough of you own problems and so on? Why does it sound like you are the “hunter” and she is the hunted, let her go and see if she will go for you instead, women want what they can’t have mate so try that. Also women are a waste of money and I would say just because you were friends for ever does not mean you should be together. The concept of childhood sweet heart might seem romantic but it is all hogwash don’t go for that destiny bull, make your own destiny and the best advice ever is don’ search for love let love find you (personally you will be so much happier without a women with pms24/7 because it can get scary!)
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I think you've inspired me to do the exact opposite of what you suggest :P
 
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