Dear accredited journalists
Please note the following:
[1] That the press conference has been scheduled for some time during the course of today - in line with contemporary South African practice adopted from government and most political parties.
[2] There will be a light snack available for 60 people available after the press conference, only the presenters for the conference however will be allowed to eat the food.
[3] While we will endeavour to answer all questions put forward by any member of the press in as obtuse and non-answer manner possible, we reserve the right - in accordance with international practice - to decline to answer any question if we are unable to imaginatively non-answer said question.
[4] Promotional literature will be circulated to you. In accordance with contemporary practice we expect this literature to be presented as fact by you. Any journalist failing to do our bidding in this respect will be called nasty names.
Kind Regards
The PR Company
But back to the topic: we don't do announcements by press conferences (yet ...)