Divorce, advice needed.

There's no such thing as an amicable divorce!
Go and consult a lawyer as to the best way forward.
 
Pavan said:
Has she mentioned divorce before? If she has, then you have every right to issue her with divorce papers. Lawyer is best.

From what I've seen amongst my friends, there's never such a thing as a fair divorce. Someone always gets shafted.
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Neither of us have brought it up. But it is inevitable. I'm quite certain she wants it as well, it's just who is going to bring it up first. At least, i hope.
 
EX_mrs_ant_man said:
There's no such thing as an amicable divorce!
Go and consult a lawyer as to the best way forward.
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+1

The fact that you are married out of community will also help but it will by no means make it easy. You will be worse off financially. Do *not* volunteer to move out of the house under any circumstances. Even if it starts amicable, don't assume it will remain that way
 
SkippyRamirez said:
So, I'm getting a divorce soon. Wife doesn't know it yet though. Not going into the reasons or details, no point.

We obviously live together, and the house is in both our names. I pay the bond every month, so for me to move out until the house is sold, is not financially possible. So I assume the period until we sell the house and we can go our separate ways, is going to be rough.

Now, should I go to a lawyer for this, or can I use that site idivorce.co.za or something like that? I read that if the divorce is agreed on by both parties and there are no disputes, then we can download the paperwork from that site, complete it, and then have a lawyer finalise it. Apparently, if done that way, it can be finalised in less than 2 months.

I don't foresee there being any disputes as we don't have children, and we really don't like each other.

Anybody here went a similar route with their divorce? Any advise?
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Dude.. welcome.

My bad.

If you guys dislike each other (and she isn't being douche).. it can be a quick divorce.
 
vic777 said:
+1

The fact that you are married out of community will also help but it will by no means make it easy. You will be worse off financially. Do *not* volunteer to move out of the house under any circumstances. Even if it starts amicable, don't assume it will remain that way
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What do you mean by I will be worse off financially? Hell no, I pay the bond, I'm not going anywhere until it's sold.
 
TelkomUseless said:
Dude.. welcome.

Hmm. Kids ? How are you married?

Divorce in 2 months ? Nope. If she plays little hardball ... it can take freaking year(s). It takes about 1 year to get a court date (Gauteng).
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No kids, out of community of property.
 
No one wins out of a divorce, you both will lose.
I've recently gone through it, it's even harder when a child is involved.
Definitely get a lawyer BEFORE you tell her. Get your ducks in a row if that is what you want, if it cannot be saved, don't make her believe that it can if she wants to etc, it will make it worse.

Goodluck. Start-over, nothing more crap that being in a marriage that does not work and causes daily stress.

Oh, and it took me 11 months.....
We had a house together as well as a minor child
 
As other have stated, go see a divorce lawyer first.

What is good so far is that there are no kids , married out of community of property and she has a good job/income (so most likely your alimony payment per month to her should be little).

The only big problem I foresee is the house, since you both own it. Not too clued up these days how it will work, but she will most likely decide to stay in it, instead of selling. However, forcing her then to pay het part of the bond could be troublesome.
 
Have u considered a trial separation first. Sorry to ask as it is a little OT from what you requested but all marriages go through rough spots. Just cause you hate each other now does not mean it can't potentially change. I know the wife and I had some serious rough patches and almost all happily married couples that I know of did but sticking it out, communicating, etc can actually leave your relationship stronger and happier after.
 
SkippyRamirez said:
What do you mean by I will be worse off financially? Hell no, I pay the bond, I'm not going anywhere until it's sold.
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I went through the same thing. Almost a year of litigation - even with me being married out of community of property.

It all depends on how difficult the other party wants to be. They can claim that even though you paid the bond, they paid for improvements to the house, or they were forced to quit their jobs to look after you, kids or the house - whatever.

My point is divorce is very expensive - laywers are very expensive - and if your wife wants to litigate, you will be worse off financially

Also - its problematic that the house is in both names. Going to cost money to get the bond re-registered in your name only
 
I think that the one that lodges the divorce first gains the chance to stay in the house, or gains more power over the asset after the divorce.
It is in COP so they might split it 50/50.
 
Okty said:
The only big problem I foresee is the house, since you both own it. Not too clued up these days how it will work, but she will most likely decide to stay in it, instead of selling. However, forcing her then to pay het part of the bond could be troublesome.
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Yep, I decided to move out and have my ex-wife and child stay in the house, while I kept on paying it. There was no way to force her to pay for the place until the divorce was over.
Sell the house, and if she decides to keep it, she has to "buy" you out or vice versa.
 
SkippyRamirez said:
I'm very certain that we will agree to sell the house though.
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The house belongs to both of you by virtue of the fact that is registered in both names, so even if you pay the bond payments, you will have to purchase her share from her and reregister the bond in your name only
 
SkippyRamirez said:
So, I'm getting a divorce soon. Wife doesn't know it yet though. Not going into the reasons or details, no point.

We obviously live together, and the house is in both our names. I pay the bond every month, so for me to move out until the house is sold, is not financially possible. So I assume the period until we sell the house and we can go our separate ways, is going to be rough.

Now, should I go to a lawyer for this, or can I use that site idivorce.co.za or something like that? I read that if the divorce is agreed on by both parties and there are no disputes, then we can download the paperwork from that site, complete it, and then have a lawyer finalise it. Apparently, if done that way, it can be finalised in less than 2 months.

I don't foresee there being any disputes as we don't have children, and we really don't like each other.

Anybody here went a similar route with their divorce? Any advise?
Click to expand...

Strongs.
My 2 cents.
Both of you sit down and decide on a way how to distribute your assets. Be mature and reasonable. In court you will need a distribution agreement.
The moment you have agreed go to these idivorce guys.
Try not to use a divorce lawyer. My ex and I sorted everything out and the leech of a lawyer still took us for 20000+.
All you need is that distribution agreement and a court date. In court it takes less than two minutes. You don't even need a lawyer there.
All you need is the admin must be properly done.
Strongs.
 
Getafix said:
Strongs.
My 2 cents.
Both of you sit down and decide on a way how to distribute your assets. Be mature and reasonable. In court you will need a distribution agreement.
The moment you have agreed go to these idivorce guys.
Try not to use a divorce lawyer. My ex and I sorted everything out and the leech of a lawyer still took us for 20000+.
All you need is that distribution agreement and a court date. In court it takes less than two minutes. You don't even need a lawyer there.
All you need is the admin must be properly done.
Strongs.
Click to expand...

Thanks:)
 
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