Do you have friends?

blunomore said:
We are your friends Mila.

I work almost 24/7 so I do not spend a lot of time with friends - at this stage, most of it is keeping in touch via SMS/E-mail/Phone/Facebook.

I have also encountered a lot of 'friends' who only surface when they need something. I guess they actually do not belong in the catergory of friend.
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Cool. Thanx Blu. I told my BF this holiday i only have virtual friends. The people i can disagree with and come back tomorrow and they do not hold my opinion against me. :D
 
Mila said:
+10 I need the buddy kind and i hate leeches. I am prone to the leech kind:o
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I also don't make friends easily (can easily enough fit in anywhere) but when I do make friends we stay friends. I have one friend I have known since we were 3, and another since we were 8. Those firends are more like family than friends :D

Maybe join a club for one of your hobbies or get out a little more to place that are less likely to attract leeches :)
 
An old girlfriend once told me that if you looking for a friend with no faults, you wont have any friends...
 
Garyvdh said:
90% of my friends I know through my church. ok, it is a failry large church, but...

I don't know how people survive without a church family. If one of us gets sick or we need help with the kids, we have ten families we can call on in a heartbeat... in fact we don't even have to call them, they are beating down our door to help.

When my wife was in hospital for a week last month, we had cooked meals every night and people to watch the kids for us.

We get together frequently for socials, braais, dinners, etc.

Those people are my friends.

Go to a good church Mila... make some useful friends.
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What happens if you don't believe anymore?

I lost contact wtih all my church "friends" when I lost my faith...

Which church do you go to if I may ask?
 
JK8 said:
An old girlfriend once told me that if you looking for a friend with no faults, you wont have any friends...
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You should also have the self-assertiveness not to allow other people to abuse you in the name of friendship.
 
CathJ said:
Not that simple - how do you meet people, without already having friends? Or going to church (that seems like a great place to meet people!) Plus there's shyness, and all those sorts of issues :)
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We go out of our way to greet new people, then when somebody has attended our church for a few weeks, they ask a couple to come alongside you and get to know you. That way you quickly get absorbed into the social circle. :) It's a great system. It's like having a medical aid for all my spiritual and social needs! :p
 
BT6LW said:
What happens if you don't believe anymore?

I lost contact wtih all my church "friends" when I lost my faith...

Which church do you go to if I may ask?
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Then they never were your friends.

I have 3 atheist friends, one that I have known from age 10, I don't see how that should make a difference:(
 
CathJ said:
Not that simple - how do you meet people, without already having friends? Or going to church (that seems like a great place to meet people!) Plus there's shyness, and all those sorts of issues :)
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I agree, it's not easy and I didn't intend it sound as though it was, I was replying to Mila's questions in bold below as a first step. I must say that Mila doesn't come across as being shy :)


Mila said:
While on holiday i did a lot of thinking. I am a sad loser with no fiends:(
I like to tell myself it is because i moved around so much and just never do the BFF thing.

Where do you get these things other people call friends?

And does this mean i'm a really irritating anoying loser nobody wants to be friends with?

And how do i start to change my nasty friend off putting habits?
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There's some very good advice in this thread, sports clubs, church groups etc are great places to start as you'll be mixing with people who have similar interests to yourself. You seem to love animals so theres another option, get involved with your local community animal welfare organizations, even if you don't make new friends you'll feel good about yourself for making a difference :)
 
BCO said:
To me a true friend is one that will stick with you through thick and thin. Would a church friend remain close with you if for some reason you were to lose your faith? (Not saying it will happen to you specifically, just basing this on my own and other's experiences where all the support and friendship of church people melted away when there became differences in beliefs).

Of all those dozens of people queuing up to help, maybe one or two would stick with you, and those are the real friends.
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BT6LW said:
What happens if you don't believe anymore?

I lost contact wtih all my church "friends" when I lost my faith...

Which church do you go to if I may ask?
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Ja, I hear you guys, but in my experience people who have left our church because of a change in faith, rarely want to remain in that social circle. It seems like it is their decision. Personally I would want to reach out to them, but sometimes they don't like that. They see it as an effort to bring them back, and in all fairness it is very hard for them because most of our conversation revolves around church issues. In this case, that is the social cohesion.

The same would apply to a person who decides to give up drinking. He is not likely to hang around with his friends at the pub anymore.

I go to a Baptist Church in Alberton, by the way.
 
blonde one said:
I must say that Mila doesn't come across as being shy :)
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Nope. But people do not like that either. I also like men better than woman. I do not do the group in the kitchen complaining about my BF. I like the car sport and general talk men do better. But That makes woman think i want in their BF's pants. :D
 
If you're happy, do you really need friends?

I'm constantly busy - don't even have 30minutes to myself - so I only see friends once or twice a year.
 
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