Do you think kids should be spanked?

[crackersa]

Not a chance.

I believe( with good reason )that kids learn how to behave from their parents. We as responsible adults are meant to resolve our behavioural differences without violence. Hitting a kid teaches them that it is appropriate to use violence to correct someone's behaviour that you don't like. And then you have people wondering why we live in a violent society, it is because you have parents teaching their kids that violence is OK.

As a society, we would frown on a man hitting his partner because she is being an unreasonable bitch. I don't see why we shouldn't offer the same protection to the most vulnerable members of our society.

That is before you go into the scientific literature on the impacts that spanking can have on a kid's health.
[video=youtube;ONNRfflggBg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONNRfflggBg[/video]

so much This^^^^^^^^^^

my two year old thinks it's ok to hit when he's angry or doesn't get his way...and I suspect he learned that from the few times we did spank him. we now spend more time trying to talk to him to see why he is frustrated.

and this week he learned how to kick.

i'm getting tired for the corner thing though....I usually have to stand there to make sure he stays in the corner. soon as I turn my back, he's already trying to make his way out. so guess what, it means I am in the corner too! (has childhood flashbacks).

 

[Hamster]

my two year old thinks it's ok to hit when he's angry or doesn't get his way...and I suspect he learned that from the few times we did spank him. we now spend more time trying to talk to him to see why he is frustrated.

and this week he learned how to kick.

So did you kick your child or do children only learn to hit stuff that way?

 

[crackersa]

So did you kick your child or do children only learn to hit stuff that way?

Hell no I didn't kick him. But he learned somehow that swinging his leg causes pain. Could have picked it up day care or something. But it was quite a shock to the SO and I.

 

[Kosmik]

Someone needs to post the Russel Peters clip, " gonna get a hurting real bad"

 

[RedViking]

I must also mention, some kids can be Autistic and the signs can be there from a very young age. If your child has challenging behaviors or show signs of aggression better to get a professional to look at it. I don't say discipline won't be necessary but the child might just try to express himself.

People on the spectrum may exhibit unusual behaviour due to the difficulties they have responding to their environment. Their behaviour is generally an attempt by them to communicate their feelings or to cope with a situation. Behaviour problems may occur as the result of their heightened sensitivity to a sound or something they may have seen or felt.

For people on the spectrum, rigidly sticking to routines and spending their time in repetitive behaviours are ways for them to reduce uncertainty and maintain the predictability of their environment.

https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/content/characteristics

[video=youtube;Lr4_dOorquQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr4_dOorquQ[/video]

 

[The_Ogre]

Yes, I spanked my older one once because she tried to stick her finger through the grill of a desk fan which had aluminium blades - this after I told her twice not to. She was about 3 at the time, she's 10 now.
The other one used to get a hiding quite a bit more frequently, mainly because she was (is?) naughty as hell! I stopped when she was around 3 as well. She's 7 now and still catches on the world of crap. Her new hobby is putting salt in mine and her mother's coffee, cool drink, yogurt, anything if we're not looking

Ironically, the younger one is exponentially closer to me than the older one and still falls asleep on my lap every now and then.

My wife on the other hand does not hit our kids...she moers them!

edit: OK, she doesn't moer them, but she can give them a preaching until they almost want to cry

 

[D3nz]

People are so lazy they want to teach kid's and solve all and any behavioural problems that their kid's display instantly and without much effort so a spanking is very convenient.

As for toddlers and a smack on the hand it hurts their feelings more than anything else...they are so cute and ugly when they cry because they can't do something

My Mom used to still smack me on the hand when I was being cheeky as a teenager and it would stop me in my tracks. I am however still a bit cheeky (as you know) but not to my Mom!

Oh yeah, these days it's not rare to see kids being disrespectful to their parents. Our generation never did. And my siblings and I never got spanked either. We got to kneel/sit in a corner and contemplate our transgressions. And woe betide you if you got up before my dad said you could. The punishment time then got doubled.

 

[touch_stone]

Yes definitely

 

[Sala_mander]

Yes, as a last resort. Note 'spanked' - not beaten. A short sharp shock to underscore the point and reinforce the lesson as opposed to brutal violence that becomes the focus and loses the lesson.

The real world beats you when you step out of line. Spanking is a way of communicating that actions have consequences without teaching violence or abuse.

 

[cfilorux]

Thou shalt beat

Not do I think. I know. It's not an option. It's an imperative:

Proverbs 23:13-14 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

And there's more

Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

And there's more - only bastards are not disciplined by their fathers:

Hebrews 12:6- For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

 

[SlinkyMike]

Yes kids should be spanked. We grew up being spanked look how great we turned out

Actually the dogma, bloody minded ignorance and outright stupidity expressed in this thread would indicate that spankings make for morons.

 

[pinball wizard]

Actually the dogma, bloody minded ignorance and outright stupidity expressed in this thread would indicate that spankings make for morons.

Dogma? You spank your dog?

I mean I understand spanking your monkey, or choking your chicken, but not the dog man.

 

[Iroiro]

Yes, definitely

 

[essene]

Spanking is a lazy way to discipline, or establish boundaries, and shows less creativity and a general resistance to changing inherited tendencies that we got from our parenting role models. It is easier to revert to something that is habitual than forge a new way that might produce improved human beings.

 

[Geoff.D]

Spanking is a lazy way to discipline, or establish boundaries, and shows less creativity and a general resistance to changing inherited tendencies that we got from our parenting role models. It is easier to revert to something that is habitual than forge a new way that might produce improved human beings.

Meh! Spanking is effective and works! The other phsyco dribble allows the kid to play mind games with you ... BS to that!

 

[Sala_mander]

Actually the dogma, bloody minded ignorance and outright stupidity expressed in this thread would indicate that spankings make for morons.

So far, I'd venture to say that the least-respectful and rudest person in this discussion so far is you, SlinkyMike. Whereas others have for the most part responded to your so-called 'scientific' source (a single blog post on Psychology Today) with their own opinions and experience, you have resorted to ad-hominem attacks, denigration and childish name-calling against just about anyone who disagrees with you. You decry physical violence yet replace it with verbal violence, both of which derive from the same mental conditioning. Physical abuse vs emotional abuse...both are still abuse...but you clearly believe one is not as bad as the other. And with that, the high horse you ride shrinks dramatically.

You probably weren't spanked enough as a child...you might have learned some respect for others.

 

[Crowley]

So far, I'd venture to say that the least-respectful and rudest person in this discussion so far is you, SlinkyMike. Whereas others have for the most part responded to your so-called 'scientific' source (a single blog post on Psychology Today) with their own opinions and experience, you have resorted to ad-hominem attacks, denigration and childish name-calling against just about anyone who disagrees with you. You decry physical violence yet replace it with verbal violence, both of which derive from the same mental conditioning. Physical abuse vs emotional abuse...both are still abuse...but you clearly believe one is not as bad as the other. And with that, the high horse you ride shrinks dramatically.

You probably weren't spanked enough as a child...you might have learned some respect for others.

 

[SlinkyMike]

So far, I'd venture to say that the least-respectful and rudest person in this discussion so far is you, SlinkyMike. Whereas others have for the most part responded to your so-called 'scientific' source (a single blog post on Psychology Today) with their own opinions and experience, you have resorted to ad-hominem attacks, denigration and childish name-calling against just about anyone who disagrees with you. You decry physical violence yet replace it with verbal violence, both of which derive from the same mental conditioning. Physical abuse vs emotional abuse...both are still abuse...but you clearly believe one is not as bad as the other. And with that, the high horse you ride shrinks dramatically.

You probably weren't spanked enough as a child...you might have learned some respect for others.

I'm sorry you feel that way. I am definitely not trying to be rude (my last comment does stem from frustration, that's a fair assessment.)

Ask yourself what I could possibly stand to gain from the time I have spent here trying to show other parents that even if spanking works, it isn't necessary and it certainly isn't the most healthy form so discipline as it has several side effects that are very undesirable.

It boggles my mind that parents wouldn't look at it and go: "So you're telling me there are completely non violent options for disciplining small kids? Holy cr@p! Tell me!"

Were I a parent who was raised to believe that spanking was the only way I'd be actively looking for alternatives not doggedly defending an obviously violent pattern of behavior and fighting with those who are trying to show me the truth.

Look, that's just me and the source of my frustration here but it's not important. I won't try to defend anything apart from my source.

Psychology Today is a well respected source and it is a leading magazine in the industry, not simply a blog. The blog that I had linked to on their website provides a simple overview of another set of scientific research.
I stand by it still, despite having read the PDF the Sensorei linked to which provides some very lucid points on how the research is most likely flawed to some degree, the problem being that while they point out how the research cannot possibly be accurate the argument runs in both directions so it's also not possible for those who refute it do nail down to what degree it may be flawed. A reasonable person would recognize that it is flawed.

One more thing: your closing comment - had you considered that my strong feelings in this area might stem from the opposite of what you suggest?

 

[Veneficus]

I'm sorry you feel that way. I am definitely not trying to be rude (my last comment does stem from frustration, that's a fair assessment.)

Ask yourself what I could possibly stand to gain from the time I have spent here trying to show other parents that even if spanking works, it isn't necessary and it certainly isn't the most healthy form so discipline as it has several side effects that are very undesirable.

It boggles my mind that parents wouldn't look at it and go: "So you're telling me there are completely non violent options for disciplining small kids? Holy cr@p! Tell me!"

Were I a parent who was raised to believe that spanking was the only way I'd be actively looking for alternatives not doggedly defending an obviously violent pattern of behavior and fighting with those who are trying to show me the truth.

Look, that's just me and the source of my frustration here but it's not important. I won't try to defend anything apart from my source.

Psychology Today is a well respected source and it is a leading magazine in the industry, not simply a blog. The blog that I had linked to on their website provides a simple overview of another set of scientific research.
I stand by it still, despite having read the PDF the Sensorei linked to which provides some very lucid points on how the research is most likely flawed to some degree, the problem being that while they point out how the research cannot possibly be accurate the argument runs in both directions so it's also not possible for those who refute it do nail down to what degree it may be flawed. A reasonable person would recognize that it is flawed.

One more thing: your closing comment - had you considered that my strong feelings in this area might stem from the opposite of what you suggest?

Well lets see
I know certain people who raised their kids with the we will never spank our kids principle
and the people who did that had backgrounds in phycology
Funny thing is out of 4 kids

1 turned into a regular drug user who then had a kid with mental disabilities
1 turned out Ok but had funny married relationship. Was bit different while it lasted since they both brought other people to join them in bed together and it did not end well
1 had serous relationship issues and found it quite hard to socialise with other people or other Sex


none of them has ever been spanked by their parents

Does this mean that not spanking your kids can not work?
No there is certain things that work and certain ways of doing things that does not and not everything that works for you works for others
And realistically our world is filled with many, many people who turned out 100% who got spanked

The problem comes in when you as a person try and shove your specific ways of doing things down on people and it then causes issues.

As for that there is a vast and very clear difference between kids that were spanked and kids who were abused.

And as for that I grew up being spanked by my parents
And yet I cannot think of 1 occasion in all of those where I did not 100% need to be spanked
And where it was abuse in any form

 

[raneels]

Yes