Do you think she'll break up with me when she's successful?

[InternetSwag]

So I been seeing this girl lately. We clicked really fast and I really like her and she really likes me. I've seen her everyday now and she seems pretty damn infatuated with me. To be honest I'm not usually the type for serious relationships but this girl kind of just blew my mind.

I've seen her everyday after work and working 236.5 hours this month means that I've been losing a lot of sleep it's really ****ing me up mentally, this morning she and I were still at Canal Walk 2 am, I'm awake now and have been since 6:30.

I don't mind at all, she's worth it.

But I'm afraid of one thing. She's a year younger than me and vastly more successful that me or my parents. She's studying programming and she even got a bursary. She has a Citroen C1 (new) and she's working as a manager at a cake shop (yes we make jokes about her selling koek for a living )

But yeah, she got some offer for next year by a company and she'll make more than 3x what I earn and that's just a starting salary for 6 months.

I'm afraid that, once she's successful she'll want to move in together, buy stuff together etc. Which I would love to do (eventually), but I can't afford to on this size salary. Then if she realizes that I'm a piece of **** making no money and have no future she will dump me for someone more reliable.

I hate to think about money and happiness in the same sence when it comes to relationships, but it's required for a comfortable life at least.

There's a good chance she uses the forum and might even read this so doing this is so risky. I'll probably delete this thread later today.

 

[BouncyNinja]

If she loves you, she will stick around
And talk to her, communication is very important, when i got married, my wife got retrenched , for the first 8 mo the of being married life was tough, but we stuck it out, and happly married, 5 years today

 

[buyeye]

If you think the future of the relationship depends on this information you might aswell get it from the horses mouth.

If you don't you might start sarbotaging the relationship because of your insecurities.

How long is lately anyway? Does she know what you do?

Personally I remember just too well how guys thought girls were too good for them and ended up regreting not just going for it.

 

[Frikkenator]

Just be honest about your financial state, don't pretend to richer than you are, that way she knows what she's getting into, and when either of you start earning more, there shouldn't be a problem.

That being said, the world is has gone past the stage where the man needs to make more than the woman, just don't get all sensitive about it.

 

[Kosmik]

Love had risks, it's not straight forward. If you guys are serious, then TALK about it together. Best advice for any relationship.

 

[Maddmatt]

I'd be pretty damn happy dating a girl that earns 3x more than me

 

[unskinnybob]

So I been seeing this girl lately. We clicked really fast and I really like her and she really likes me. I've seen her everyday now and she seems pretty damn infatuated with me. To be honest I'm not usually the type for serious relationships but this girl kind of just blew my mind.

I've seen her everyday after work and working 236.5 hours this month means that I've been losing a lot of sleep it's really ****ing me up mentally, this morning she and I were still at Canal Walk 2 am, I'm awake now and have been since 6:30.

I don't mind at all, she's worth it.

But I'm afraid of one thing. She's a year younger than me and vastly more successful that me or my parents. She's studying programming and she even got a bursary. She has a Citroen C1 (new) and she's working as a manager at a cake shop (yes we make jokes about her selling koek for a living )

But yeah, she got some offer for next year by a company and she'll make more than 3x what I earn and that's just a starting salary for 6 months.

I'm afraid that, once she's successful she'll want to move in together, buy stuff together etc. Which I would love to do (eventually), but I can't afford to on this size salary. Then if she realizes that I'm a piece of **** making no money and have no future she will dump me for someone more reliable.

I hate to think about money and happiness in the same sence when it comes to relationships, but it's required for a comfortable life at least.

There's a good chance she uses the forum and might even read this so doing this is so risky. I'll probably delete this thread later today.

How much are you packing in the winky dept and do you know what to do with it? I find that with ladies a man's need for professional success is relative to his success in the bedroom.

 

[ChilliGirl]

I'd be pretty damn happy dating a girl that earns 3x more than me

Bwhahahahaha

 

[deweyzeph]

You're seeing this girl way too much. Every day is too much. She's going to get bored of you really quickly if you see her every day.

 

[InternetSwag]

If she loves you, she will stick around
And talk to her, communication is very important, when i got married, my wife got retrenched , for the first 8 mo the of being married life was tough, but we stuck it out, and happly married, 5 years today

I really hope she does stick around, been a while since I felt this way about someone.

Just be honest about your financial state, don't pretend to richer than you are, that way she knows what she's getting into, and when either of you start earning more, there shouldn't be a problem.

That being said, the world is has gone past the stage where the man needs to make more than the woman, just don't get all sensitive about it.

I did tell her how much I make, she didn't comment on it. Kind of made me feel awkward.

Love had risks, it's not straight forward. If you guys are serious, then TALK about it together. Best advice for any relationship.

This is true, just want things to be perfect.

The thing is I feel really fragile around her (as gay as it sounds). She makes me feel like I'm invincible but yet... She can break me. If I had to lose her... Don't even want to think about it.

How much are you packing in the winky dept and do you know what to do with it? I find that with ladies a man's need for professional success is relative to his success in the bedroom.

I really shouldn't say this on a forum where people might recognize me... But yes and none of the 11 girls I've done it with complained. I would say more but I really can't.

 

[d0b33]

How much are you packing in the winky dept and do you know what to do with it? I find that with ladies a man's need for professional success is relative to his success in the bedroom.

This. Give her an orgasm at least 3 times a week and she'll be your sugar mommy.

 

[chrisc]

I don't think what you earn has anything to do with it. My daughter earns over double what her partner does, and they have been together for 11 years. No cracks in the romance as far as I can see. Of course this is not a given, some men might be intimidated by their SO earning more, but is should not be a reason per se.

 

[cerebus]

Sorry to tell you this and go against everyone but she sounds much more ambitious than you, and yes she probably will realise as time goes on that you just arent matched well in that sense. The money is one thing but it sounds like her character is quite different from yours. You do sound like a bit of a bum tbh.

 

[chrisc]

I think you have spoiled his day. However, given the answers from some of the visitors here, he got what he was seeking. The truth is often not what we want to hear. My wife inherited a huge sum from her aunt but I took great care not to hint in the slightest that I could do with a new car, etc. She bought all our children houses, but I have not benefitted materially from that money, except that I will never have to want financially. However, when we go overseas, it is always business class, etc so I suppose some of it has trickled down since she always insists on paying for everything when we leave SA

 

[cerebus]

I think you have spoiled his day. However, given the answers from some of the visitors here, he got what he was seeking. The truth is often not what we want to hear. My wife inherited a huge sum from her aunt but I took great care not to hint in the slightest that I could do with a new car, etc. She bought all our children houses, but I have not benefitted materially from that money, except that I will never have to want financially. However, when we go overseas, it is always business class, etc so I suppose some of it has trickled down since she always insists on paying for everything when we leave SA

Odd sort of relationship you guys have.

 

[chrisc]

It wasn't always like this. Who was to know a rich aunt would kick the bucket and even leave her all her money? We just don't discuss money much. I still pay her c/card bill every month. I retired recently and have adjusted the payments share, but we carry on as before. When she found out that she was going to benefit from the aunt's will, we sat down and decided it would not make any difference to our lifestyles. We bought a few houses for investment and for the children, and the rest is with Allan Gray and Coronation.

I have a cousin in the UK who won £1.6 million on the football pools. He went out and bought a Ferrari, smart house, had parties. The money disappeared in 8 years, all of it and he is now skint. So we learned from him that is not the way to go.

 

[Quantum Theory]

I was in the same situation as you, Swag. Met an awesome girl with a good job, while I was bumming around slightly. Found myself a better job and 6 months later an even better one. We are still together after 7 years... engaged and getting married next year. It is time you do something about your own situation.

 

[FrankCastle]

If she's a materialistic gold-digger who constantly goes on about the latest expensive fads then you've got problems.
As long as you make an effort,work hard,and don't cheat around you shouldn't have problems.

 

[zippy]

So I been seeing this girl lately. We clicked really fast and I really like her and she really likes me. I've seen her everyday now and she seems pretty damn infatuated with me. To be honest I'm not usually the type for serious relationships but this girl kind of just blew my mind.

I've seen her everyday after work and working 236.5 hours this month means that I've been losing a lot of sleep it's really ****ing me up mentally, this morning she and I were still at Canal Walk 2 am, I'm awake now and have been since 6:30.

I don't mind at all, she's worth it.

But I'm afraid of one thing. She's a year younger than me and vastly more successful that me or my parents. She's studying programming and she even got a bursary. She has a Citroen C1 (new) and she's working as a manager at a cake shop (yes we make jokes about her selling koek for a living )

But yeah, she got some offer for next year by a company and she'll make more than 3x what I earn and that's just a starting salary for 6 months.

I'm afraid that, once she's successful she'll want to move in together, buy stuff together etc. Which I would love to do (eventually), but I can't afford to on this size salary. Then if she realizes that I'm a piece of **** making no money and have no future she will dump me for someone more reliable.

I hate to think about money and happiness in the same sence when it comes to relationships, but it's required for a comfortable life at least.

There's a good chance she uses the forum and might even read this so doing this is so risky. I'll probably delete this thread later today.

If anything it sounds like her success will make you insecure and that will destroy the relationship.

 

[OhYeah]

If anything it sounds like her success will make you insecure and that will destroy the relationship.

Agree fully. I find very often it's the guy whose insecurity that will jump at any slightest/unintended comment/action as another insult to his dwindling manhood so he bounces hard and high and make life miserable for everyone involved. Besides, if a guy doesn't have the self-confidence to be with a woman who makes more than him, she wouldn't/shouldn't want such a guy anyway.