OMO ftw!!!!
You are probably right in your first paragraph. But remember that about 40% or so of the white population did not support the Nats, and many were active both here and overseas in campaigning against apartheid. In one of my "lubberal" phases I remember holding a poster of protest about Biko's death with the cops and a swarm of doggies across the road from us taking photos of us and eventually charging to disperse us.
I think one thing you do discount is that many many whites really wished to remove apartheid. Yes, many could have done more. But there was, and still is I hope, a tremendous amount of goodwill. If we are ever going to fully reconcile with each other, don't stomp on that!