Love Woes

Ancalagon said:
In this case I actually think she did the right thing.

She wasn't feeling it. OP is too nice and too easy, and didn't turn her on. She was honest with you.

Think of the alternative - you don't turn her on and she feels no spark, but she dates you anyway because she wants someone to look after her and provide for her. That, to me, is far worse. I'd far rather that a girl be honest than use me.
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True but seriously, the spark won't always be there. I have an issue with dating, in general :)
 
googoodoll said:
True but seriously, the spark won't always be there. I have an issue with dating, in general :)
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Oh tell me about it, everyone is full of ess h one T. Both men and women. And they blame each other for their dating problems without looking inwards.
 
Lament said:
She was 32 :p
And i understand this, not even a guy would like a push-over girl, there is a huge diffrence in having manners plus being a gentleman than in being a push-over.
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Even more years of this craziness? 32?!
As for the difference in having manners and not being a push over. I agree. Unfortunately a lot of men get the two mixed up. Not directly talking about you mate :)
 
Ancalagon said:
Oh tell me about it, everyone is full of ess h one T. Both men and women. And they blame each other for their dating problems without looking inwards.
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I think people have the wrong idea when it comes to dating. They don't really want a partner, they want stuff and things and good feelings and perfection. I believe you should just marry your best friend :) When you take away the money, the sparks, the fancy dates, good looks etc. you should still have the companionship.

People should be honest with themselves about what they really want and go out and get that, not relation****s under false pretenses.
 
No one knows what the spark is, but we know it's needed. The last person I dated was beautiful, good sense of humour, down to earth, etc. But the 'spark' wasn't there. I can't say what it was, but it was missing. Or maybe I was just bored, I don't know, but it just wasn't for me. It happens, but it had nothing to do with the chasing game (people wanting what they can't have until they got it), I (me, myself) I just wasn't with it. It was by no means a serious relationship but still. That all illusive spark.....

Based on a true story. :p
 
reactor_sa said:
No one knows what the spark is, but we know it's needed. The last person I dated was beautiful, good sense of humour, down to earth, etc. But the 'spark' wasn't there. I can't say what it was, but it was missing. Or maybe I was just bored, I don't know, but it just wasn't for me. It happens, but it had nothing to do with the chasing game (people wanting what they can't have until they got it), I (me, myself) I just wasn't with it. It was by no means a serious relationship but still. That all illusive spark.....

Based on a true story. :p
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i know about the "Spark", and it was there, basically its that feeling were you feel comfortable with someone, you can talk hours and just enjoy each other, cant wait to see each other....that kind of thing
What pssis me of is, she said the spark vanished, and it happened like over night O_o
 
Pho3nix said:
Even more years of this craziness? 32?!
As for the difference in having manners and not being a push over. I agree. Unfortunately a lot of men get the two mixed up. Not directly talking about you mate :)
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No worries :-)
I'm to much of a hardass to be a push-over, my stubbornness has been the direct cause of a few failed relationships :p
 
Lament said:
i know about the "Spark", and it was there, basically its that feeling were you feel comfortable with someone, you can talk hours and just enjoy each other, cant wait to see each other....that kind of thing
What pssis me of is, she said the spark vanished, and it happened like over night O_o
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The spark doesn't just vanish, unless someone else has her attention. Consider it a lesson learnt and move on. You can bet she's not wondering where it all went wrong...and don't change who you are, the world needs nice guys and I'm sure when you find your Miss Right, she'll appreciate your qualities.
 
Spark is just wymynspeak for attraction. It "goes away" as soon as she finds someone new (or old) to bang, and it's a pretty fickle thing, like most of their moods.

After a few months (18-24 I think), the time it takes to make a baby and for the mother to recover, it goes away anyways. It's a reproductive thing. That's why so many divorces happen then. The "commitment 4 lyfe, yo" lasts about as long as a few chemical reactions.
 
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Women don't go from being attracted to bad boys to being attracted to nice guys just like that. It's also very unlikely that she was going to enjoy taking the lead in the relationship for very long. Sounds to me that this chick was dishonest with you and herself. I'm guessing that after being with a string of *******s she decided that what she needed was a Disneyesque relationship with someone "nice" and then realised that she wasn't getting the same tingles being with the OP as she did from the bad boy.

The problem with a lot of guys(people in general, really) is that they see being nice as being mutually exclusive with being self-centred. Self-centredness is seen as synonymous with selfishness and greed when in actual fact it's just a matter of taking care of your own well-being before you take care of anyone elses. What people see as being nice is actually being self-sacrificing and unfortunately that's a mugs game unless it's a two way street. Guys need to more selective of who they choose to be nice to.

The world doesn't need more nice guys, Ms D3nz, it needs more people who are willing to be nice. The truth is that there are probably way more nice guys than there are nice girls.
 
googoodoll said:
I think people have the wrong idea when it comes to dating. They don't really want a partner, they want stuff and things and good feelings and perfection. I believe you should just marry your best friend :) When you take away the money, the sparks, the fancy dates, good looks etc. you should still have the companionship.

People should be honest with themselves about what they really want and go out and get that, not relation****s under false pretenses.
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My believe as well.
And that's what my father always told me.
 
I stopped reading at page 4 where the OP admitted they didn't have coitus, and that after going out with her for weeks! Well thats the reason she broke up. She couldn't wait any longer! Poor girl. I would break up with you too if that was the case. At least push for it, even if she says no and want to wait longer, then only relax. She needs to know you love her, and not by saying it, by showing it.
 
Tinuva said:
I stopped reading at page 4 where the OP admitted they didn't have coitus, and that after going out with her for weeks! Well thats the reason she broke up. She couldn't wait any longer! Poor girl. I would break up with you too if that was the case. At least push for it, even if she says no and want to wait longer, then only relax. She needs to know you love her, and not by saying it, by showing it.
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I missed that part. That would do it.
 
I vote the OP meet her again, and then give her some real love. Women don't want you to be a dick, just to give them dick, and then all other obvious fun.
 
Tinuva said:
I vote the OP meet her again, and then give her some real love. Women don't want you to be a dick, just to give them dick, and then all other obvious fun.
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Unfortunately not going to happen, If she however decided to make contact again, then yes, you can bet your ass that's what i'll do.


*Let me just add this as well, since my social circles sucks, i never meet woman, so i am on the Internet dating scene, now, my profile describes me like i am, a sweet guy who is a hard-ass, i am 100% honest in my profile, and woman LOVE it, i get loads of responses and its ALWAYS the same : "You sound like such a real and trustworthy man, you are funny and say things like they are, all the other guys on this website only wants sex, they send us dick pics and are rude" And i promise you 99% of all the replies i receive goes like that.
So saying i'm confused is a understatement, they want sex but don't like to admit to it?, so i should go on with my game, being nice and everything, lure them in, and them start giving them sexual gestures? :D
i'm getting to old for this schit, this was much easier when i was in my early twenties.
 
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bokdrol said:
I blame the Americans
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Disney specifically. Guys, seriously. Unless a woman tells you she doesn't believe in kissing/fondling/sex before x amounts of dates or marriage or whatever, you should at the very least be trying. Women just want to know that you're not just after a fcck. Once she knows (usually a couple of dates) sex should be and generally is on the cards. She wouldn't be dating you if she wasn't considering doing the dirty with you.
 
Lament said:
Unfortunately not going to happen, If she however decided to make contact again, then yes, you can bet your ass that's what i'll do.
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For future reference, something that women love: you're on a date that is obviously going well and things are winding down. You say: "I just want to warn you so you don't freak out. I'm going to kiss you before we get to your car". If the kiss goes well say, "I wanted you to know how hot/sexy you look tonight".

There you go. Sex is now on the table. If she's still talking to you after that - she will be - you can be pretty damn sure you will be having sex as soon as one of you is at the other ones place for the first time.
 
Lament said:
So saying i'm confused is a understatement, they want sex but don't like to admit to it?, so i should go on with my game, being nice and everything, lure them in, and them start giving them sexual gestures? .
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Yes. They all say that, but it is just a test to see if you are a wimp or a real man.

Now don't take it too far though. Once she is over at your place, and then you start kissing, and then go on to 2nd base, there is a small chance she may stop you. This is fine. It could be her first time, she could have been raped in the past, who knows. Don't force it at this point. Just go with it when she says it on the online dating site, as in change the topic to something else. Eg. Sure no problem. Do you like to go drink some coffee so we can get to know each other better?
 
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