Maintenance if child emigrating?

Seriously said:
Make a deal with her. Put the money for your daugher in a trust for when she needs it for signing the release documents. That way you know it's invested for your daughter and not for the ex's hair do's!
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thats kinda like blackmail and she could take that to the courts
 
Where are they moving and what is your maintenance going to be worth there?
 
Put your monthly contributions into a trust fund and on her 21st birthday she gets it all.
 
Don't look at it as you HAVING to pay it, look at it as you providing for her above and beyond what is required.
 
saflyfish said:
thats kinda like blackmail and she could take that to the courts
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IMHO its looking at the interests and rights of you and your daughter. Do not take me "Seriously" as some of my best fans and obvious haters advised, but go see a professional lawyer dealing with this sort of thing. Again do not take me "seriously" . Use it lose it, ball is in your court!
 
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saflyfish said:
moving to aus...my maintenence will be almost worthless there
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Get ex to open a fixed deposit account that side for your daughter that can only be drawn from once your daughter is the right age for college.

Put it in there each month.
 
Go see a lawyer, this is an edge case scenario and unless anyone here has been through it or works in this branch of law it's all uneducated guesses.
 
The mother is very selfish if she takes away the daughter and forces you to sign full custody and you'll never see the child again.
Sure she can marry a foreigner but unless she moves to a neighboring country, a trip to the US, Australia or Europe is very far and will cost a bundle.

Before signing any agreements I would go see a lawyer in order to set up an agreements that the payments for custody you can deduct a yearly trip for either you to go to her country or your daughter to come here.
 
saflyfish said:
Unfortunately my daughter and her mother have decided to move overseas with her new husband.She is 13yrs.
The mother doesnt have custody as yet so im due to sign that over to her otherwise she cannot leave our shores.
My question is thus...do i still need to pay child support if she goes overseas?
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Do you have a specific reason for not wanting to pay child support?
 
Seriously said:
Rights?
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Can't relate to putting visitation rights up against paying maintenance (not saying that this is what the OP is doing - responding to your speculation - it's your kid whether you can visit her or not - besides, she's 13, in a couple of years time she will be able to choose for herself.
 
AfricanTech said:
Can't relate to putting visitation rights up against paying maintenance (not saying that this is what the OP is doing - responding to your speculation - it's your kid whether you can visit her or not - besides, she's 13, in a couple of years time she will be able to choose for herself.
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Actually at 13, she can already make a choice to the courts. Happened to my niece when my brother and his wife divorced, she chose to stay with him.
 
guys appreciate all the comments and advice.
There are so many differing opinions here,it was mentioned i go see a lawyer.
I think this is the best option at the moment.
 
Just my 2 cents here :

I live in the Netherlands with my daughter. When we first moved, her dad still lived in SA although he has since moved to Australia. He continues to pay a monthly amount like clockwork. I have never had to ask for an annual increase (I believe it's linked to inflation although I cant say for certain how he calculates it - for me its not that important) nor has he ever skipped a payment. I seem to recall that we just converted the Rand amount into Euros and thats what he continues to pay (it balanced out because despite the exchange rate and cost of living difference, we have fewer expenses here vs SA for minimooks because we dont pay for schooling or health care).

He didnt see her for a few years when she was too little to travel on her own, and when neither he nor I could travel for work or financial reasons. She now travels as an unaccompanied minor to visit him once a year since the age of 7.

Despite all the financial restrictions and logistics, he accepts his moral and parental obligation to contribute to his childs welfare and upbringing. IMO, thats a good father who loves his kid and doesnt let borders dictate otherwise. You want to be like him.

(p.s. he's not my cup of tea in many many other ways, just as I am not his, but he is a good dad - cant fault him there!).

p.p.s. Minimooks is now almost 13yrs old and misses her Dad, skypes with him once a week and whatsapps with him frequently. Borders and distance have not robbed them of a relationship, even though the one they have is not the one they would have chosen for themselves.
 
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mooks said:
Just my 2 cents here :

I live in the Netherlands with my daughter. When we first moved, her dad still lived in SA although he has since moved to Australia. He continues to pay a monthly amount like clockwork. I have never had to ask for an annual increase (I believe it's linked to inflation although I cant say for certain how he calculates it - for me its not that important) nor has he ever skipped a payment. I seem to recall that we just converted the Rand amount into Euros and thats what he continues to pay (it balanced out because despite the exchange rate and cost of living difference, we have fewer expenses here vs SA for minimooks because we dont pay for schooling or health care).

He didnt see her for a few years when she was too little to travel on her own, and when neither he nor I could travel for work or financial reasons. She now travels as an unaccompanied minor to visit him once a year since the age of 7.

Despite all the financial restrictions and logistics, he accepts his moral and parental obligation to contribute to his childs welfare and upbringing. IMO, thats a good father who loves his kid and doesnt let borders dictate otherwise. You want to be like him.

(p.s. he's not my cup of tea in many many other ways, just as I am not his, but he is a good dad - cant fault him there!).

p.p.s. Minimooks is now almost 13yrs old and misses her Dad, skypes with him once a week and whatsapps with him frequently. Borders and distance have not robbed them of a relationship, even though the one they have is not the one they would have chosen for themselves.
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+1
 
Just to add a drop of reason here.

Everyone that hopped on the "You should pay no matter what because she is still your daughter" bandwagon. Anyone stop to think that the guy is simply asking advice on what he is legally required to do. Not because he wants to shirk responsibility, but because it might open up his options to do something more flexible with his contributions to his daughter's future.

I mean, this is a guy that has demonstrated that he cares enough about his child's future, to allow his ex and another man to take her to another country. As man, or parent in general. Having another man parent your child would be hard enough if you are still mostly in the picture. You can still feel validated and influential. Allowing them to move to another country is basically ceding over to the fact that another man is going to become the primary father figure in your child's life.

That takes a ****ing big man to do. So I don't for one second believe that OP is asking this question with the sole intention of cutting all responsibilities to his daughter. I don't see anything that the OP has said that would have given you people that impression in the first place.

/rant
 
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