FlippyCake
Active Member
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2019
- Messages
- 91
- Reaction score
- 3
Ladies and Gents,
Yes this is a throw away account but I need help. I fully expect to be told the way I am feeling is wrong, but I need to hear what people honestly think.
So I have been married to my wife for 5 years and we have been together for 10. We have no kids. She is 8 years younger than me.
As with any relationship we have always had our ups and downs, thankfully more ups than downs.
My wife travels a lot for work overseas, so we have spent quite a bit of time apart over the last 3 years, 4 weeks at a time to be exact. I have not had a wondering eye when she has been away.
So last year she comes back from working in Australia and something was off, she kept saying she was fine until one day I get a WhatsApp that says "I cant do this anymore I want a divorce", I mean over WhatsApp, not even a phone call!
I try and talk to her about this and she is steadfast in her decision, I immediately think there is someone else. Turns out there was no one else.
Long story short, both sides of the family get involved and we end up going to counselling and things are back on track, she apologises and says she had a melt down due to the stresses at work.
Since then the relationship has not been the same for 2 reasons :
1. When we met she was a petite woman (I like my woman to look feminine, shoot me if you think I am a MCP) and over the last 2 years she has started weight training at gym. She is not looking at becoming a body builder but her once petite womanly frame has become rather muscular (I am quite sizeable myself so we are still in proportion) but she knows how I feel about woman with muscles. She went and cut her hair short, whereas it was always long and beautiful and the only clothes I EVER see her in for the last year is gym gear with her hair tied back. Even if we go out to family or friends she is always in gym gear. I forget what she looks like with her hair done and dressed normally.
2. After her wanting a divorce I feel very jaded, I do love her but with the above in mind I am feeling a lot less attracted to her and I am still very very hurt after her wanting to just end everything.
Rambling here I know but the crux is coming.
So our marriage is back on track to a point. With her working away so much and spending her life at gym we get very little time together, I also work late nights most days. Our sex life has dipped dramatically, one reason is because I am finding her less attractive, we went from having sex 4 to 5 times a week to maybe once every 3 weeks. I also feel like we have this huge distance between us now, we no longer like the same things, I am still the person I was but she has changed a lot down to her tastes in movies and music.
So one day I meet this chick...….and every little fibre in my body stands up and I feel things I have NEVER felt in my life before, so much so I cant find words to describe them, but they feel great.
She makes me feel alive by just talking to her when I see her. And no I have not cheated on my wife, the most this new chick and I have done is just hug each other hello and goodbye.
The age difference between me and the new chick is 12 years. So she is quite young. She just captivates me in every way, we share all the same interests, she is so feminine and beautiful without trying, she has the most amazing mind and outlook on things, I crave every little part of her body...….which I cant say I can with my wife anymore. I have never been one to believe in soul mates but I feel something so strong towards her that I can put it into words by saying I truly believe I have met my soulmate.
I know she likes me a lot too which makes things even worse.
Why has this happened? Does this make me a dick? Do I go with what feels right? Do I keep my distance from this new chick?
TL;DR. Married, don't find my wife attractive anymore, she asked for divorce out of the blue, we worked on things, marriage back on track to a point, enter a soul mate
Will try reply as much as I can between my work day.
Yes this is a throw away account but I need help. I fully expect to be told the way I am feeling is wrong, but I need to hear what people honestly think.
So I have been married to my wife for 5 years and we have been together for 10. We have no kids. She is 8 years younger than me.
As with any relationship we have always had our ups and downs, thankfully more ups than downs.
My wife travels a lot for work overseas, so we have spent quite a bit of time apart over the last 3 years, 4 weeks at a time to be exact. I have not had a wondering eye when she has been away.
So last year she comes back from working in Australia and something was off, she kept saying she was fine until one day I get a WhatsApp that says "I cant do this anymore I want a divorce", I mean over WhatsApp, not even a phone call!
I try and talk to her about this and she is steadfast in her decision, I immediately think there is someone else. Turns out there was no one else.
Long story short, both sides of the family get involved and we end up going to counselling and things are back on track, she apologises and says she had a melt down due to the stresses at work.
Since then the relationship has not been the same for 2 reasons :
1. When we met she was a petite woman (I like my woman to look feminine, shoot me if you think I am a MCP) and over the last 2 years she has started weight training at gym. She is not looking at becoming a body builder but her once petite womanly frame has become rather muscular (I am quite sizeable myself so we are still in proportion) but she knows how I feel about woman with muscles. She went and cut her hair short, whereas it was always long and beautiful and the only clothes I EVER see her in for the last year is gym gear with her hair tied back. Even if we go out to family or friends she is always in gym gear. I forget what she looks like with her hair done and dressed normally.
2. After her wanting a divorce I feel very jaded, I do love her but with the above in mind I am feeling a lot less attracted to her and I am still very very hurt after her wanting to just end everything.
Rambling here I know but the crux is coming.
So our marriage is back on track to a point. With her working away so much and spending her life at gym we get very little time together, I also work late nights most days. Our sex life has dipped dramatically, one reason is because I am finding her less attractive, we went from having sex 4 to 5 times a week to maybe once every 3 weeks. I also feel like we have this huge distance between us now, we no longer like the same things, I am still the person I was but she has changed a lot down to her tastes in movies and music.
So one day I meet this chick...….and every little fibre in my body stands up and I feel things I have NEVER felt in my life before, so much so I cant find words to describe them, but they feel great.
She makes me feel alive by just talking to her when I see her. And no I have not cheated on my wife, the most this new chick and I have done is just hug each other hello and goodbye.
The age difference between me and the new chick is 12 years. So she is quite young. She just captivates me in every way, we share all the same interests, she is so feminine and beautiful without trying, she has the most amazing mind and outlook on things, I crave every little part of her body...….which I cant say I can with my wife anymore. I have never been one to believe in soul mates but I feel something so strong towards her that I can put it into words by saying I truly believe I have met my soulmate.
I know she likes me a lot too which makes things even worse.
Why has this happened? Does this make me a dick? Do I go with what feels right? Do I keep my distance from this new chick?
TL;DR. Married, don't find my wife attractive anymore, she asked for divorce out of the blue, we worked on things, marriage back on track to a point, enter a soul mate
Will try reply as much as I can between my work day.
