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Question of the Day: How do you normally pay for purchases in stores?
My First, eh, ... date, I think? :erm: :sick:
- Thread starter ld13
- Start date
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- Tags
- date first ever relationship stress
cerebus
Honorary Master
and i suggest...be a romantic for once... DELIVER IT YOURSELF
I'm just going to say a big NO to this. Let me illustrate:
Romantic
------- << fine line
Creepy
RustyPrincess
Expert Member
If she agreed to go out in public with you, then you are half way there.
Insist on paying, even if she offers.
Ask her questions about herself.
Relax! If something embarrassing happens, just laugh it off.
Insist on paying, even if she offers.
Ask her questions about herself.
Relax! If something embarrassing happens, just laugh it off.
It may seem silly in this day and age, and in the future you can go dutch, but insist on paying this one time. If she objects, offer to let her pay next time (and then arrange the next date). As silly as it seems, it makes a good impression and, if there's any doubt, shows that you do consider it a date.
Note that this does not mean she's just after money. If she does insist, tell her she can pay for the next date and let her (making a reach for the bill when it arrives, though, but let her take it from you if she still wants to pay - which she should).
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Nerfherder
Honorary Master
Don't stress about it man... you don't need to live up to anyone else expectations. You only really need to meet one person... and that is the one you fall in love with. All the others are just "Testers".I'm an introvert. I can count my close friends on one hand. Google is one of them. Socializing is not the easiest thing in the world for me - it is an effort to some degree to socialize with people. But it is not that bad. I'm making it sound bad! Generally you would find my peers on a Wednesday night, drinking themselves to bits in some bar - while I'm sitting at home, seriously not interested in waking up with some babbelas the next day. Although that is an over generalization. I can also count the times I've been in a club/bar setting with friends. I just did not belong there.
I know a lot of happily married people that only ever had one Boyfriend or girlfriend... they just met the right person.
Also I have mate that is turning 30 and is in his second relationship. The first was when he was 28. Its not the end of the world.... at the end of the day you just need to be happy
Whoa... hang back on the big gestures. That stuff only happens in the movies, its puts a lot of pressure on a new relationship. First dates should always be very natural then you test the waters to see how she feels and move according to her response. At the end of this date you should know a little bit more about her and if you like her.
+1 with nerfeherder.A single stem rose to start off with.Bunches later when things get serious.Back in the old days our elders used to woo girls with lollipops and cans of coke.Its your character she's more interested in.
SinghDude
Chief Sports Analyst
Now its the car that you drive... and the size of your wallet ( and D!ck)
Now where's the like button when you need one?
Surv0
Executive Member
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if you have confidence in yourself, shell want to be around you. If you can make a girl feel comfy around you, youll automatically be in her radar, the rest all plays out itself.
Dolby
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That worked? :/
it would work on me...
Lupus
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Yeah but the coke was a bit more laced then it is now a days ;-)... Don't go for the big gestures on the first date, rather just let it play out naturally, no single stem roses, nothing fancy. She is a person as much as you are, stop stressing over it and just go with the flow. Go for some coffee, maybe walk around a bit, ask her if she wants to catch a movie etc... Natural not oh my I need to do this and this and this.
patrick
Expert Member
Don't have much time to write here so it'll just be a few points:
-Movies and dinners make lousy first dates. The first you can't speak in at all, the second you feel like you're interviewing each other which can be uncomfortable on a first date. Rather try something a little between the two. Comedy nights are fantastic because even the fact that you took her there shows (correctly or incorrectly) that you have a sense of humour. My other personal favourite is a salsa/dance class, and if you're prepared and can dance a little before you go it's even better.
-NEVER get her gifts for the first date or even the second. you can't buy emotions and will just look try hard and it's not sexy at all. A gift is for a special occasion or a reward for good behaviour. Think dog training
-Fail to prepare and you'll prepare to fail. I know I'll get flamed for this, and of course the dog training comment, but you don't have to be completely spontaneous to be yourself. We prepare for everything else in life that we think is important, and relationships should be no different. Have a couple of interesting topics on hand to speak about, a couple of really interesting stories about yourself and your life, and a couple of good questions to ask. Take a crib sheet if you think you'll go blank, just don't read it in front of her! If you feel you don't need them on the date that's fine, but either way you'll feel far more relaxed knowing you have something to fall back on should there be an uncomfortable silence.
-I would kind of steer clear about never having been on a date. You could say you've never had a serious relationship, but make it sound like you're picky about who you would get involved with rather than a social misfit! No offence, I was one once too...
-Now it's your first date so I won't give you my usual advice on getting close and kissing her when the time is right because you'll be too uncomfortable as is and could screw it up. And just FYI, when you drop her off at home is NOT the right time. If you haven't kissed her before then don't "go for the kiss".
-Be comfortable in yourself. Be confident. Don't put her on a pedestal, and don't make a fuss about how hot she is, or how into her you are. Big tip here for everyone listening. You don't like a girl for her looks (well of course you do, but pretend you don't for the sake of the date), all the other guys who aren't out with her do that, you need to like her for something deeper, something that she's in control of.
-Movies and dinners make lousy first dates. The first you can't speak in at all, the second you feel like you're interviewing each other which can be uncomfortable on a first date. Rather try something a little between the two. Comedy nights are fantastic because even the fact that you took her there shows (correctly or incorrectly) that you have a sense of humour. My other personal favourite is a salsa/dance class, and if you're prepared and can dance a little before you go it's even better.
-NEVER get her gifts for the first date or even the second. you can't buy emotions and will just look try hard and it's not sexy at all. A gift is for a special occasion or a reward for good behaviour. Think dog training
-Fail to prepare and you'll prepare to fail. I know I'll get flamed for this, and of course the dog training comment, but you don't have to be completely spontaneous to be yourself. We prepare for everything else in life that we think is important, and relationships should be no different. Have a couple of interesting topics on hand to speak about, a couple of really interesting stories about yourself and your life, and a couple of good questions to ask. Take a crib sheet if you think you'll go blank, just don't read it in front of her! If you feel you don't need them on the date that's fine, but either way you'll feel far more relaxed knowing you have something to fall back on should there be an uncomfortable silence.
-I would kind of steer clear about never having been on a date. You could say you've never had a serious relationship, but make it sound like you're picky about who you would get involved with rather than a social misfit! No offence, I was one once too...
-Now it's your first date so I won't give you my usual advice on getting close and kissing her when the time is right because you'll be too uncomfortable as is and could screw it up. And just FYI, when you drop her off at home is NOT the right time. If you haven't kissed her before then don't "go for the kiss".
-Be comfortable in yourself. Be confident. Don't put her on a pedestal, and don't make a fuss about how hot she is, or how into her you are. Big tip here for everyone listening. You don't like a girl for her looks (well of course you do, but pretend you don't for the sake of the date), all the other guys who aren't out with her do that, you need to like her for something deeper, something that she's in control of.
I'm also keen to know why...
Maddmatt
Expert Member
I think because it's clichéd and can come across as forced, like trying to copy the stuff you see in movies. During the date it has more chance of happening naturally. Not a big deal if you don't kiss on the first date, don't force it if you're not confident.
cerebus
Honorary Master
You know a lot of the advice about dating comes from men who have made dating a lifestyle - iow men without steady, committed partnerships. There are NO rules about how you should conduct yourself. On my first date with my wife I managed to get us both hopelessly lost in Hampstead Heath for about 3 hours. 4 years later and we have 2 beautiful children. Just be who you are. But still no on the flowers.
Confidence and just being yourself. Inthe end if she doean't like you for you, there are other girls, dude! And no on the flowers, that's saying you yourself weren't enough so you try and buy her, flowers only come laaaater! And please don't take cue cards, seriously! She will probably do most of the talking, most girls do, just listen a lot. And as for the movie, it canbe good or bad, however since you are the shy kind, perhaps a movie and then go for drinks. Also, choose the movie, she wants to see confidence, confidence is key! And yes, dont mention that you have never been on a date rather use the "haven't been in a serious relationship" thing. Oh and hold open doors, pull out the chair etc. Also dude, don't worry about not having been on dates etc. every relationship ypu go through, just makes you bring more baggage into the next one! Oh and if she wants to pay say no she can pay next time, is a good one! Good luck dude, keep us posted! And don't be too nervous, look at it this way, if it works out you will have a great time, if it doesn't work out, there are other girls and you dont have to see this one again, try and find positives for a good and not so good time 
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