Need some psychological comfort, please.

[Tman*]

Placed people on ignore. I'm done.
Either treat me with dignity and respect or go fk yourselves.

I don't have transport. My health is erroded due to multiple overdosing and injested suicide attempts. I'm a skilled ICT professional. I don't mess around and waste time with nothing. I have a professional goal and aim to deliver on my own goals.

You can't call it work if you are not making money. Rather call it volunteering or perhaps a hobby.

Do what thousands of South Africans do without transport and take a taxi to work.

 

[|tera|]

You can't call it work if you are not making money. Rather call it volunteering or perhaps a hobby.

Do what thousands of South Africans do without transport and take a taxi to work.

Is that your ivory tower point of view?
That I should throw away my entire life and career to waiter?

Why do you care about my finances? I'll sort it out. I talked about it. I didn't ask anything from anyone. I didn't ask for money or advice? Why give me instructions on my life?

Nobody told me I'd be kicked out. Nobody is fighting with me. I'm feeling down and tired. My mind is experiencing a burnout. It's a common thing. I just need meds.

 

[Tman*]

Is that your ivory tower point of view?
That I should throw away my entire life and career to waiter?

Why do you care about my finances? I'll sort it out. I talked about it. I didn't ask anything from anyone. I didn't ask for money or advice? Why give me instructions on my life?

Nobody told me I'd be kicked out. Nobody is fighting with me. I'm feeling down and tired. My mind is experiencing a burnout. It's a common thing. I just need meds.

If money will rectify some of your problems (as you mention) perhaps it is time to set aside your professional life and career (which as you state earns you no money) and try something else?

Even if it's only temporary to get a change of scenery. I can imagine the normal working hours will also be good for your mental health.

 

[saor]

That sounds like a theraputic approach.
No offense intended, but why do you thinking therapy will improve anything?
I think my bewt bet would just be to ride it out until I can get medication.

Because in the many places that personal change can come from, it can also come from within. And that change from within is ignited by gaining new perspective and insights on the world and yourself. If all you want is comfort in the form of warm fuzzy platitudes, then fine. But you'll wake up tomorrow with the platitudes digested and be right back where you started. I don't know why you're so resistant to change and trying new things. It's like you've fallen so deep into a rut that you've given up on even trying to help yourself in new ways.

Stop labelling things as therapy. I didn't suggest therapy. I suggested novel interactions with the world that might bring about novel insights about the world. If any label is to be applied I'd use "growth".

That will be weird. I don't talk to anyone or even have telephone conversations. I only type or text. It's different if I'm with someone physically, then I can talk fine.

Yes of course it will be weird. That's the point. To push through something new and grow a little.

 

[blunt]

Well at least you take your meds, one bipolar person I know doesn't and it's not a good situation, another on heavy meds constantly and can't work at all, just sits at home.. so you're somewhat functional despite the hours.

You say you sleep until 2pm but work from 2 or 4am.. related to the mania/depression? Otherwise try normalise your hours and try separate your work from your non-work activities..

Stating the obvious I'm sure.

 

[|tera|]

If money will rectify some of your problems (as you mention) perhaps it is time to set aside your professional life and career (which as you state earns you no money) and try something else?

Even if it's only temporary to get a change of scenery. I can imagine the normal working hours will also be good for your mental health.

The arrangement here differs though.
I usually work daily from 9:am until I'm done at the Office (for family) Otherwise I'm at my own place (same farm) Past two weeks I've been here mostly. So I agree with @saor that the isolation is an issue.

Because in the many places that personal change can come from, it can also come from within. And that change from within is ignited by gaining new perspective and insights on the world and yourself. If all you want is comfort in the form of warm fuzzy platitudes, then fine. But you'll wake up tomorrow with the platitudes digested and be right back where you started. I don't know why you're so resistant to change and trying new things. It's like you've fallen so deep into a rut that you've given up on even trying to help yourself in new ways.

Stop labelling things as therapy. I didn't suggest therapy. I suggested novel interactions with the world that might bring about novel insights about the world. If any label is to be applied I'd use "growth".
Yes of course it will be weird. That's the point. To push through something new and grow a little.

I'm not intending to sound dismissive of your responses I'm probably just not feeling/thinking straight right now.
The way you explained those scenarios just envoked therapy in my emotions.

I'll be honest. I am self absorbed. Not in myself though. I'm self absorbed with my thoughts, feelings and emotions.

It's almost as if I'm carrying a constant bombardment of my senses. I actually watched a film a while ago which showed that I could possibly be having constant brain seizures right now. Mostly due to the meds and that Im dependent on it. My head is stiff, jerking. I'm shaking and just feeling generally crap.

 

[GhostSixFour]

So, quick question. I reached out to you when you posted something similar a while ago, and you said you were pretty far along on the process of being hired somewhere, and basically said thanks, but no thanks. I extended the offer to let me know if you didn't come right, and I'm just curious as to why you never got back to me? I mean, it was a fully remote position, maybe not 100% aligned with your skillset but probably could've worked.

EDIT: I don't mean to kick a man while he's down, just trying to understand the process here.

 

[|tera|]

So, quick question. I reached out to you when you posted something similar a while ago, and you said you were pretty far along on the process of being hired somewhere, and basically said thanks, but no thanks. I extended the offer to let me know if you didn't come right, and I'm just curious as to why you never got back to me? I mean, it was a fully remote position, maybe not 100% aligned with your skillset but probably could've worked.

EDIT: I don't mean to kick a man while he's down, just trying to understand the process here.

I just reread the pm.
I see you asked me to let you know in a couple of days. My interview only happened in middle to late March. I didn't get the role however. As you know it is an international company with strict requirements. I am able to interview there again in a few months time. To be completely honest I didn't remember your pm. If I did I would have contacted you a while ago already. My apologies.

Edit: that said. Please contact me in private if you want to discuss a pm.
Edit: interview was April 7. PM was March 4.

 

[GhostSixFour]

I just reread the pm.
I see you asked me to let you know in a couple of days. My interview only happened in middle to late March. I didn't get the role however. As you know it is an international company with strict requirements. I am able to interview there again in a few months time. To be completely honest I didn't remember your pm. If I did I would have contacted you a while ago already. My apologies.

Edit: that said. Please contact me in private if you want to discuss a pm.
Edit: interview was April 7. PM was March 4.

Fair enough.

 

[pinball wizard]

I'll be honest. I am self absorbed.

Why do you keep posting the same thread here, looking for the same thing?

Clearly it's not working. You need to get into some kind of setting where a professional can help you. And don't try the no money, no transport story. There's plenty of free therapy sessions you can get into, and if you can't afford a taxi, you have your own two feet.

 

[lowriderza]

I'm suffering from some serious burnout.
Working to 2am or 4am most mornings. Sleeping at times until 14:00 in the afternoon.
I've been without income for over a year and rock bottom has passed a looooonnnggggg time ago.
I need some comfort/consolement to ease my mind.

Yep, it's my time to get meds and I'm overdue again.
This started about 2 weeks ago though.
One day I'm amped and ready to face it all. The next day I'm dead tired and lost all motivation.

it's a repetition and it sucks. Not fun at all.

How do you cope with stress and burnout? I don't have the mechanisms as I thought I had.
Thanks for any words, or just listening. I'm alone and have nobody to vent or talk to. So you are my somebody

The thing that helps with a lot of things is to breathe slowly and deeply. Once you're calm break the issue you are struggling with into smaller chunks and deal with it one by one. I rarely go off my meds it's usually me losing track of how much is left and when a new script is due. But the above method works for me and I know it works for people across the whole anxiety/depression/schizophrenia spectrum.

 

[Baise]

 

[The Darkness]

I'm suffering from some serious burnout.
Working to 2am or 4am most mornings. Sleeping at times until 14:00 in the afternoon.
I've been without income for over a year and rock bottom has passed a looooonnnggggg time ago.
I need some comfort/consolement to ease my mind.

Yep, it's my time to get meds and I'm overdue again.
This started about 2 weeks ago though.
One day I'm amped and ready to face it all. The next day I'm dead tired and lost all motivation.

it's a repetition and it sucks. Not fun at all.

How do you cope with stress and burnout? I don't have the mechanisms as I thought I had.
Thanks for any words, or just listening. I'm alone and have nobody to vent or talk to. So you are my somebody

You need to dig yourself out of this hole. First, you need to correct your sleep patterns. Get your circadian rhythms back on track. Irregular sleep patterns are the number one cause of issues. If you are smoking weed, STOP. It's a false sense of relief. Weed is a curse that gives with one hand, and robs you with the other.
Consume all content from Jordan Petersen & Jocko Willink, they are both different but brilliant virtual mentors and a lot of what you are going through is how you're framing things. You need face this head-on and come up with a plan. Every day is a chance to move forward. I've lost friends over the years to all sorts of things, and I promise you if they could they'd have swapped their demise for your situation. You are still alive, breathing, you can make it happen.
Go for it, good luck, be kind to yourself, get your house in order, get sleeping properly, get some exercise every day for the endorphins (especially weights but also run run run), stop looking back. Godspeed

 

[rh1]

At Op, it is tough, thanks to the plandemic, I wad out of work for 7 months, was on my last, just about to rent my house out, and go squat at family. Literally, at the last second got a job (2 offers and a interview).

There were nights I would wake up having a panic attacks.

Ja it is difficult. A lot of families did not survive Government/ANC over reaction/wrong response to COVID.

 

[Barbarian Conan]

As others have said, you need change. A vacation from your life as it were.
Back when I was single, I would need to get out of the house and just go to a mall or something if I had a very long weekend for example. I get that it isn't really such a good idea now.

My suggestion:
Take at least an 8 day vacation from your life. 8 days is apparently the magic number according to some article I read. 8 - 14 days.
Don't do any computer work.
Don't play games, or play very little.
Do something more active.
Since my work is often frustration and struggling, I need to do something simple for a break. Something like re-organizing a room or cleaning out a closet.
Find a new spot in a garden or nearby park to go and have coffee. Take a thermos, or just walk there with your cup coffee and sit for 20 minutes.
Try and find some exercises that you can do. Remember, it takes around 3 - 6 months before you start to enjoy working out, and the mental benefits are amazing once you do. Start slow so that you don't hate it THAT much in the beginning. 3 times a week, no more (in the beginning)
Try and change your routine, when you get up and when you go to bed.

The important part is CHANGE. You can go back to your routine after your "vacation".

 

[|tera|]

Why do you keep posting the same thread here, looking for the same thing?

Clearly it's not working. You need to get into some kind of setting where a professional can help you. And don't try the no money, no transport story. There's plenty of free therapy sessions you can get into, and if you can't afford a taxi, you have your own two feet.

Why do you care what I post and why do you assume it's the same thing? It's far from the same thing.
I'm a white Man. I don't use Taxis. It's called freedom of choice.
Walking 100KM to a Hospital for therapy. Yep. You know your stuff....

As others have said, you need change. A vacation from your life as it were.
Back when I was single, I would need to get out of the house and just go to a mall or something if I had a very long weekend for example. I get that it isn't really such a good idea now.

My suggestion:
Take at least an 8 day vacation from your life. 8 days is apparently the magic number according to some article I read. 8 - 14 days.
Don't do any computer work.
Don't play games, or play very little.
Do something more active.
Since my work is often frustration and struggling, I need to do something simple for a break. Something like re-organizing a room or cleaning out a closet.
Find a new spot in a garden or nearby park to go and have coffee. Take a thermos, or just walk there with your cup coffee and sit for 20 minutes.
Try and find some exercises that you can do. Remember, it takes around 3 - 6 months before you start to enjoy working out, and the mental benefits are amazing once you do. Start slow so that you don't hate it THAT much in the beginning. 3 times a week, no more (in the beginning)
Try and change your routine, when you get up and when you go to bed.

The important part is CHANGE. You can go back to your routine after your "vacation".

I would love to take a break. It's just not financially possible and sitting doing nothing for 8 days won't be much of a break. I'm not arguing with you though. A break would be the ideal outcome.

I used my CPAP machine last night. Slept better. Feeling better. So Oxygen in my brain is an issue too. I'll do it again tonight. When I'm sick like this I forget the basics.

 

[Other Pineapple Smurf]

Why do you care what I post and why do you assume it's the same thing? It's far from the same thing.
I'm a white Man. I don't use Taxis. It's called freedom of choice.
Walking 100KM to a Hospital for therapy. Yep. You know your stuff....

I would love to take a break. It's just not financially possible and sitting doing nothing for 8 days won't be much of a break. I'm not arguing with you though. A break would be the ideal outcome.

I used my CPAP machine last night. Slept better. Feeling better. So Oxygen in my brain is an issue too. I'll do it again tonight. When I'm sick like this I forget the basics.

I can't and won't tell you what to do.


You sound stressed and seem to be in that perpetual loop of not being able to get enough rest so you carry over the stress from the previous day, snowballing it.


My wife had a meltdown last year, still have not found my balls to relive that day through a thread. She ended up in hospital and months of therapy.

The reality is the world does not have enough accessible resources to deal with mental health problems. If you have a hospital plan, you can book yourself into a life care hospital for a lekker month-long rehab. Well, most people don't have a hospital plan and can't.

To avoid the melt-down, or post-recovery of one, seeing a Life-Coach really helps. We see one who has given us a discount rate to help us out. I was also on the verge of a melt-down when I saw here and in a much better place now.

What helps me handle my stress:

* Going for a walk, I understand you have problems with your leg. One needs to walk for 20 minutes only at any pace.

* Listening to bilateral music for twenty minutes while walking - can't believe how well it works.

* Drink lot's of water

* Learn what my triggers are. I went from losing my crap at co-workers in meetings to eating popcorn as they entertain me with their stress problems.

* Switching off from technology.

* Having someone with empathy but still tell me to find my balls and this is just life.

* Realising we all have different ceilings in our life. Stopped judging people who were happy to do the same thing their entire life, they are at least happy.

 

[|tera|]

I can't and won't tell you what to do.


You sound stressed and seem to be in that perpetual loop of not being able to get enough rest so you carry over the stress from the previous day, snowballing it.


My wife had a meltdown last year, still have not found my balls to relive that day through a thread. She ended up in hospital and months of therapy.

The reality is the world does not have enough accessible resources to deal with mental health problems. If you have a hospital plan, you can book yourself into a life care hospital for a lekker month-long rehab. Well, most people don't have a hospital plan and can't.

To avoid the melt-down, or post-recovery of one, seeing a Life-Coach really helps. We see one who has given us a discount rate to help us out. I was also on the verge of a melt-down when I saw here and in a much better place now.

What helps me handle my stress:

* Going for a walk, I understand you have problems with your leg. One needs to walk for 20 minutes only at any pace.

* Listening to bilateral music for twenty minutes while walking - can't believe how well it works.

* Drink lot's of water

* Learn what my triggers are. I went from losing my crap at co-workers in meetings to eating popcorn as they entertain me with their stress problems.

* Switching off from technology.

* Having someone with empathy but still tell me to find my balls and this is just life.

* Realising we all have different ceilings in our life. Stopped judging people who were happy to do the same thing their entire life, they are at least happy.

My first break was in 2004.
A psychologist placed me on antidepressants which basically 'activated' my Bipolar condition. He was dumb/stupid and I'm sitting with the eftects for years afterwards.
If you are predisposed to Bipolar disorder you are not allowed to use psychoactive medications. He destroyed my life.
I spent weeks in hospital under horrendous circumstances. Picked myself up. Fell. Rinse. Repeat. It's an ongoing process. I haven't had a major psychological break since 2010, except the multiple suicide attempts.


Thanks for your advice. It's practical. I can work with practical advice

 

[Affieplaas]

Unfortunately on a public forum:
- you will get very little sympathy
- advise is going to be all over the place and, the advice that may help, will be obscured by other advice that may just cause more harm

"I need some comfort/consolement to ease my mind.
Yep, it's my time to get meds and I'm overdue again."

Based on the above extract from your OP, you obviously suffer from a medical condition. There is only one solution and that is to get the medicine that you need.

"How do you cope with stress and burnout? I don't have the mechanisms as I thought I had"

I take a Thursday and Friday off and I don't even think about work. I read books, go for a walk, work in the garden and try to stay as far away from any electronic devices and media as possible. However, there is a distinct difference between being tired/overworked and bi-polar disorder/depression.

"I'm alone and have nobody to vent or talk to. So you are my somebody"

So you are on a farm from the sounds of it. Surely there must be other farms/farmers around that you can visit?You have access to the internet, so why not talk to friends/colleagues via whatsapp/teams/zoom? If you belong to a church, talking to the local dominees will cost you nothing and may be a good starting point.

 

[Jet-Fighter7700]

reading the comments , this is but the tip on an iceberg, many of us with jobs,
will suffer due to the incompetence of closing companies and hoping that fixes it, especially with all this COVID garbage.

met a few bi-polar people, they need their meds, their condition is Chronic and needs drugs,
you have had suicide attempts, #notgood, had a friend that tried this a few times, nearly died but had rich folks to send her to endless rehab centres and mental institutes.
with covid the Rich parents are broke, so she back to her old self harming ways, we don't speak these days, just hope I don't read her obituary one day, or attend her funeral (god forbid)

what Id do?
vacation is a good start, take time away from work, get your head adjusted.

as for work, we all is the same boat, things get better, they always do, just a phase, especially now.
what advice can I recommend to you, as silly as it sounds?
go to one of those people that rewrite CV's, they helped me big time, if you want PM me, will give you the one I used.

we all need a little pick me up these days, I've worked for the worst of companies, and the best of them, and even now I always say it goes in waves.
during the 1st lockdown I suffered, but speaking to my EX-colleagues, was it really so bad, when they weren't paid?

so I like to say, everything happens for a reason, strange as it might sound.
and remember, things aren't always as bad as you think they are, they can be a lot lot worse.