Joe Kinnear might be unwell. We might be dreadful people for laughing at him. But, as Newcastle have apparently given him a job that would seem to indicate all/most of his mental faculties are there, it's OK to mock him.
Kinnear spoke to SHOUTsport on Monday evening. You'll almost certainly be aware of this, and you may have listened to the whole thing, shifting uncomfortably in your seat while doing so.
If not, there are a few bits we'd like to highlight. The italics are Kinnear's comments, the following text is what we'd like to call 'reality'.
"Derek Llambezee was the director of football. Derek has resigned now."
He's talking about Derek Llambias, who according to The Daily Telegraph, is Newcastle's managing director and has never been director of football.
"Where have these people been - have they been on another planet? I have played in five cup finals, I have won the lot. I had over 400 games for Tottenham Hotspur, been manager of the year three times. I have travelled all over the world as a manager."
Kinnear was LMA manager of the year once, in 1994. He has received several manager of the month awards, and perhaps he has his own personal manager of the year award that he dishes out every year. In which case, it's very modest to only have given it to himself three times. Oh, and by 'travelled all over the world as a manager', he means 'I managed India in 1984 and Nepal in 1987.'
"That's the people up there or the people round that area that I have upset and they have a grudge so I expect it. It's water off a duck's arse."
Actually, when the water has travelled off the duck's back, it probably will reach the arse, so we'll give him that one.
"I bought Dean Holdsworth for 50 grand - sold him for £3m. I sold John Scales for £3m - he was a free transfer. I sold Robbie Earle for x, y, z."
Holdsworth was bought for £650,000. Scales cost £70,000 and was signed five years before Kinnear joined Wimbledon. Robbie Earle retired at Wimbledon a year after Kinnear left.
"I think they've got some magnificent midfield players: Tiote. Ben Afri, Yohan Kebab..."
No comment.
"I mean this is a side I haven't had privilege to be with - a lot of players still there that were there when I was still there - I brought Krul to the club and I think he's a terrific goalkeeper."
Tim Krul was recruited from ADO Den Haag in 2006. Kinnear arrived at Newcastle in 2008.
"A lot of players still there that were there when I was still there...Perch is still there."
Perch was bought in the summer of 2010, some 18 months after Kinnear left the first time.
"Shola Amamobi is getting better and better, he's a young kid. Galteirez, and of course a lot of other players."
Getting the names of your own players right probably isn't that important. Oh, and Shola Ameobi is 31. He probably means his younger brother, Sammy.
"I don't know what angle they've got. If they want to sit down and argue with me, some of them are talking out their backsides, a load of tosh and I'm not accepting it. It's as simple as that. I've certainly got more intelligence than them, that's for sure."
This was in response to the question: 'Is there anything you would like to say to the Newcastle fans who perhaps don't back this decision?'
It's probably all going to be fine.
