Partner's health issues affecting relationship.

RedViking said:
My wife got sick couple of months after we got married. No need to tell you what it is. I have been taking care of her ever since.

Washing machine and hang up.
Clean the house (aka put stuff in dishwasher and pack out)
Drive her around.
Fetch her meds.
Work very hard and long hours.
Make food.
Walk the dogs and feed them.
Get the bed ready before she goes to sleep.
Repeat.
7 years now.

She helps when she can. So I don't do all of this ALL the time. She has bad days and she has very bad days. Now and then a couple of good days. Sometimes I just cant keep up and then she tries her best even though she feels like crap.
Sometimes some good days then we escape to the Midlands.

One thing she does not do is complain. Yes, she has her low moments, and it breaks my heart, but most of the time she does more than people who have the best health in the world.
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What sickness did she get?
 
Pak Fa Fui said:
Have you been medically diagnosed by a specialist with crohns disease and notified your insurance of it.

I’m sorry but crohns is a disorder and not an autoimmune disease which is how I know you are lying and possibly a hypochondriac similarly to the OP wife.
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Yea, they just pay thousands in chronic medications and specialists for no good reason whatsoever.

I just take handfuls of drugs every day for fun and games and if I stop doing it then I essentially can’t move, so sure it’s all just in my head.

The couple of weeks I’ve spent in hospital over the years were also all in my head, so I had to pay cash for it all because it’s not real.

But yes you are technically correct it’s not classified as an auto immune disease but comes down to basically the same thing, as the treatment is to suppress the immune system so as to have the body not attack itself through inflammation.

Which makes for all sorts of other complications due to susceptibility to anything and everything due to low immunity.

Bonus though I managed to skip Covid for the entire pandemic (or wasn’t aware of it if I did have it), and when I was definitely positive it hardly touched me as there wasn’t anything to fight anything.

On the flipside I’ve had swine flu, Rubella, Hand Foot & Mouth disease, Rosacea (hence the non Lupus) and all sorts of other crap I’ve forgotten already in the last few years **** me up six love every time.

Who is victim blaming now hey? You are so full of it.

The fact that you figure fibromyalgia isn’t a real disease says it all. Aren’t you the same one who reckoned ADHD is made up as well?

You are clueless and have no idea what you are talking about.

Unlike a hypochondriac I try to avoid doctors as much as possible, probably to my own detriment.
 
Gruntled said:
Yeeeeh, I'm a piece of crap because I'm complaining about my wife's complaining. Right. Heard that before.

I never said I wanted a way out of the relationship. I never said I wanted an easy way out . I am trying to support and understand her condition and will continue to do so. I am just frustrated and struggling to keep being a support pillar that is constantly being chopped away at. I don't think you can judge a man unless you walk a mile in his shoes. Do you know how difficult it is to care for someone who is always sick? Again, I have been doing it and will continue to do it for as long as I can. It just sucks that I seem to be alone in this boat.

I never said that her endometriosis is made up or imagined. in fact I said that was the confirmed medical issue she is struggling with. I said that I was having a tough time with all the other additional health problems, some of which even doctors can't seem to figure out, that have come up lately.

I hoped that maybe there were a few other people who might be in a similar situation who can identify with my situation - who might provide insight and advice which would help me deal with it.

Some of you say, "why would you marry her" etc - would you really abandon someone that you love because they have a medical condition? Than You are even more heartless than I allegedly am. Thanks to those who have shared your experiences and given advice. It is appreciated.
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A lot of doctors are dumb outside if their textbook knowledge. They good for treating flu and Covid and whatever fits in a 15min / R500 consultation. Anything else they useless. The experts on this forum gives better health advice.
 
SauRoNZA said:
Yea, they just pay thousands in chronic medications and specialists for no good reason whatsoever.

I just take handfuls of drugs every day for fun and games and if I stop doing it then I essentially can’t move, so sure it’s all just in my head.

The couple of weeks I’ve spent in hospital over the years were also all in my head, so I had to pay cash for it all because it’s not real.

But yes you are technically correct it’s not classified as an auto immune disease but comes down to basically the same thing, as the treatment is to suppress the immune system so as to have the body not attack itself through inflammation.

Which makes for all sorts of other complications due to susceptibility to anything and everything due to low immunity.

Bonus though I managed to skip Covid for the entire pandemic (or wasn’t aware of it if I did have it), and when I was definitely positive it hardly touched me as there wasn’t anything to fight anything.

On the flipside I’ve had swine flu, Rubella, Hand Foot & Mouth disease, Rosacea (hence the non Lupus) and all sorts of other crap I’ve forgotten already in the last few years **** me up six love every time.

Who is victim blaming now hey? You are so full of it.

The fact that you figure fibromyalgia isn’t a real disease says it all. Aren’t you the same one who reckoned ADHD is made up as well?

You are clueless and have no idea what you are talking about.
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ADHD is real.
you claimed to have an autoimmune disease when you don’t have any, why even say you do when you don’t? You have inflamed IBS, that’s all it is.
hand foot and mouth disease you say.
Weird person, Not sure if you’re playing games or really as sick as you say you are.
 
RedViking said:
A lot of doctors are dumb outside if their textbook knowledge. They good for treating flu and Covid and whatever fits in a 15min / R500 consultation. Anything else they useless. The experts on this forum gives better health advice.
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It is a sad reality that you’ll often need to end up in hospital first before anyone takes anything seriously enough to truly investigate.

The near unlimited budget while in hospital does help of course.
 
OP you can try this, although I can confirm it does not work. :laugh: but buy it for your wife anyways.

Rife Resonator Therapy - Do you know someone that have used it?

Please keep your unicorn debates to yourself or take it to the philosophical section. Have you heard about a Rife Resonator or know someone that use or have used one? Did it work for them or did they find it useless? http://rifehealth.co.za/Products-and-Prices/Resonator-Comparisons/...
mybroadband.co.za mybroadband.co.za
 
Pak Fa Fui said:
ADHD is real.
you claimed to have an autoimmune disease when you don’t have any, why even say you do when you don’t? You have inflamed IBS, that’s all it is.
hand foot and mouth disease you say.
Weird person, Not sure if you’re playing games or really as sick as you say you are.
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It is very far removed from simple inflammatory IBS.

It’s simple to explain as auto immune disease/disorder as it behaves in exactly the same way and depending on who you asked is classified as such.

So it’s not so much my statement as much as experts being undecided on where it fits in exactly.

You don’t know what hand, foot and mouth disease is?

No games to be played. Why would anyone want to do that? For internet points?

If I have a handful of popcorn now I’ll be shitting liquids all night and suffering for days to come.

The only weird one here is you, with a very strange perception of reality.
 
RedViking said:
No, her nerves are fine. Mine is not.

/punches something
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Respect to you anyway.

Have our own issues that the SO is going through healthwise and the next few weeks are going to be tough. I have a chronic condition and will need to see to a 2 year old on my own.

If it's taking a toll on you mentally, you also need to seek help. That goes for the OP too. The biggest hurdle is accepting that this is the schitty hand that life dealt you. It's up to you to find a way to find a way to cope with it...
 
Gruntled said:
We've been married for over ten years. We are in our thirties. Wife is a few years older than me and has a few ongoing health problems. I don't want to come across as unsympathetic but it is difficult to be supportive of somebody who is constantly complaining about their health on a daily basis.
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Is she perhaps taking opioids for pain?

This behaviour is very common with people who have become dependant on pain meds, and they constantly need to find something to justify needing medication because their body's natural endorphinergic mechanisms (pain mediating and reward mechanisms) no longer function properly due to the reliance on medication.
 
SauRoNZA said:
It is very far removed from simple inflammatory IBS.

It’s simple to explain as auto immune disease/disorder as it behaves in exactly the same way and depending on who you asked is classified as such.

So it’s not so much my statement as much as experts being undecided on where it fits in exactly.

You don’t know what hand, foot and mouth disease is?

No games to be played. Why would anyone want to do that? For internet points?

If I have a handful of popcorn now I’ll be shitting liquids all night and suffering for days to come.

The only weird one here is you, with a very strange perception of reality.
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Who is your “doctor”
 
Pak Fa Fui said:
Who is your “doctor”
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Which one? My gastroenterologist? My surgeon? Or my GP? Maybe my dermatologist for good measure?

Why do you like to put it in quotes?

Do you honestly think Discovery would pay all my expenses for shits and giggles going on nearly a decade now?
 
SauRoNZA said:
Which one? My gastroenterologist? My surgeon? Or my GP? Maybe my dermatologist for good measure?

Why do you like to put it in quotes?

Do you honestly think Discovery would pay all my expenses for shits and giggles going on nearly a decade now?
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None of its businesses. Not sure why you even answer it.
 
RedViking said:
None of its businesses. Not sure why you even answer it.
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I don’t know either to be honest.

Been annoying me for days with his bullshit and now the true colours are coming out as he/she/they goes off the rails in some weird conquest of grandeur.

I guess when it comes to chronic pain and people’s lack of understanding it just winds me right up because it’s so easy for normal people to believe others are making it up or “weak” somehow.

Meanwhile the people with chronic pain are stronger than anyone else in suffering it all day every day, relentlessly with minimal complaint (outwardly).

If OP’s wife is really suffering he’s likely getting the already filtered version to preserve his sanity. I know that’s what I do with people around me because most can’t fathom it at all.
 
SauRoNZA said:
Which one? My gastroenterologist? My surgeon? Or my GP? Maybe my dermatologist for good measure?

Why do you like to put it in quotes?

Do you honestly think Discovery would pay all my expenses for shits and giggles going on nearly a decade now?
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Why do you have a dermatologist?
For your “psoriasis“
 
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