Sexual Fetish Obsession

Nocturnity said:
Don't worry about it too much, bud. Like BrendonD said, we all have our little kicks and yours isn't that uncommon.

My ex girlfriend, for instance, loves a bit of pain. Every now-and-then she'd bring out her knives or if she was feeling really passionate, she'd bite down really hard on my arm, neck or shoulder. It was really difficult for me to come to terms with the idea in the beginning but eventually, through lots of discussion with her, I began to understand where her urges came from and what it meant to her so I allowed her to indulge herself. She liked having her hair pulled and sometimes she'd request that I bite her back so it wasn't a one-way thing. I never thought of her as "weird" or "creepy". I have a lot of respect for her and this is just something that happens behind closed doors. She's a normal, functioning member of society under any other circumstances, so why should she be ashamed of the things that give her pleasure?

I think you give your wife too little credit. It sounds like she's been very understanding and she's not judging you for your fetish. That's a rare thing. Human beings are programmed to be judgmental of ideas they don't understand or share. There aren't many people out there who would be willing to step out of their own comfort zones to make you happy.

As for trying to "forget" your fetish, don't. As long as it doesn't affect your life in a negative way, what's the problem? It sounds more like you have a guilt issue about the fetish than the actual fetish bothering you...
Click to expand...

thank you for sharing something personal too :)

the reason i didn't want to go into too much detail is because i don't want to appear too perverted and disgusting. to me it feels degrading, and i wrot a big essay but i'd rather just delete it now and thank you. i don't want to share too much on a public board because i might scare or disgust people :)
 
Nocturnity said:
As I mentioned earlier, it seems like it's more the guilt of having the fetish than actually having the fetish that bothers you.

Fetishes in general evoke a sense of guilt in us because it's something that most people don't share with us. That makes us feel like outcasts, in a way. I think that's where the guilt comes from. First step is to make peace with yourself and the fact that you have this fetish. The guilt fuels the fetish and if you diminish the fuel, you will diminish the desires as well. Try it.
Click to expand...

i will try that, and i'll also talk to my wife about it tonight, thank you very much for your help, it means a lot to me :)
 
I know I am a bit late here but I think the most important thing smalltownsky, is that you would not really hurt someone.

I think deep down, all of us have thoughts that would make the people who interact with us, run away in terror. :p
As long as you are honest with yourself and your compassion overrides your darkness why not indulge your needs?

The only way I would view this as a problem, is if you are fearful of actually hurting someone.

Stop feeling guilty, we all have our dark seed inside of us. Most are just too scared to admit it though.
 
thanks guys, and a really special thanks to brendand :) the site you gave me helped answer a lot
 
Smalltownsky

My word, you got some issues there. I congratulate you for identifying this, and being proactive by attempting to take preventative precautions / actions.

Firstly, how DOES your wife actually feel about you throttling her? Does she know you actually WOULD WANT to go "all the way" as mentioned in one of your earlier posts? This, especially this point, scares me. It SHOULD scare you and your wife.

You sound very compassionate and I think the reason you are not a serial killer is that you have a conscience. However, I do believe your recognition of your fetish as being a problem to you requires URGENT pyschological aid.

I'm not a pyschologist so have no further advice. My late father was, and he had a number of people in similar situations to yours. Some could control their deep, dark fantasies. Others, however, couldn't.. Believe me when I say you shouldn't be looking for advice online and rather seek professional help urgently. The last thing you want is your fetish taking over and you "following through" on ANYONE.
 
I am quite intrigued to find out what the rest of our fetishes are but I am not asking.
Can we at least see who has a fetish?
/raises hand
I know that copacetic has a certain fetish with me in a cage...:rolleyes: :p
 
Kage said:
I am quite intrigued to find out what the rest of our fetishes are but I am not asking.
Can we at least see who has a fetish?
/raises hand
I know that copacetic has a certain fetish with me in a cage...:rolleyes: :p
Click to expand...

*raises hand*
 
Kage said:
I am quite intrigued to find out what the rest of our fetishes are but I am not asking.
Can we at least see who has a fetish?
/raises hand
I know that copacetic has a certain fetish with me in a cage...:rolleyes: :p
Click to expand...

Your level of obsession with this is leading me to do some extrapolating of my own. :p
 
Kage said:
I am quite intrigued to find out what the rest of our fetishes are but I am not asking.
Can we at least see who has a fetish?
/raises hand
I know that copacetic has a certain fetish with me in a cage...:rolleyes: :p
Click to expand...

/raises hand
 
the_don46 said:
My word, you got some issues there.
Click to expand...

I can see why you did not follow in your father 's footsteps :)

I think the reason you are not a serial killer is that you have a conscience.
Click to expand...

Not every person with a fantasy or a fetish is a latent serial killer. FAR FROM IT. This is not a light topic by any means.
 
Last edited:
the_don46 said:
Smalltownsky

My word, you got some issues there. I congratulate you for identifying this, and being proactive by attempting to take preventative precautions / actions.

Firstly, how DOES your wife actually feel about you throttling her? Does she know you actually WOULD WANT to go "all the way" as mentioned in one of your earlier posts? This, especially this point, scares me. It SHOULD scare you and your wife.

You sound very compassionate and I think the reason you are not a serial killer is that you have a conscience. However, I do believe your recognition of your fetish as being a problem to you requires URGENT pyschological aid.

I'm not a pyschologist so have no further advice. My late father was, and he had a number of people in similar situations to yours. Some could control their deep, dark fantasies. Others, however, couldn't.. Believe me when I say you shouldn't be looking for advice online and rather seek professional help urgently. The last thing you want is your fetish taking over and you "following through" on ANYONE.
Click to expand...

I was gonna let this slide but naaaaaah :)

Dude, do you think you could be any MORE of an idiot? Stop judging...

I bet you are perfect and have no issues that require "URGENT pyschological aid"

srsly, come on...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X