The Shroom Thread

Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
3
DISCLAIMER: LONG POST

I finally got my hands on shrooms.
I've been looking for something to help me with my anxiety and depression. I've since taken them twice (1g of Golden Teachers each time - decided to start small).

Firstly, I'd like to add that my depression was pretty severe. Not to make excuses but growing up, I had a tumultuous childhood and in my early 20's, entered an 8-year long emotionally abusive relationship. I left my ex last year with nothing but my clothes and started again (I'm 30 now). As much as leaving him has 100% been the best thing I've ever done, after 8 years, I've been trying to regain balance and figure out who I am again.

Anyway. Here's my experience for far from the two trips.

TRIP 1: The first trip was interesting. I saw colour like I had never seen colour before. I felt alive.

At some point, it felt as if I was flying through my brain, almost like going down a rabbit hole that just didn't end, I remember thinking to myself "My brain has so much to explore". It felt good.
On the other hand, though, I also saw images of someone with a slashed up bloody face (not sure what that's about).

Pro: I wrote 3 days after that first trip, for the first time in a long time. I have had severe writer's block (I am a pretty creative person, but I stopped doing all the things I loved when my depression hit).

Con: My body temperature dropped. I was insanely cold.


TRIP 2: This was last night. This trip was less intense but powerful nonetheless. Before I took the shrooms, I asked my subconscious to show me what I needed to see. Good/bad. The trip started the same way. My body temperate dropped considerably but this time I had armed myself with warm clothes and my microwave neck bean blanket. So I was good. My head was all over the place, jumping from one image to another. Eventually, an image flashed of an old apartment my mom, siblings and I once lived in. I was standing at the window of that apartment. Suddenly, images started flashing related to that apartment. I started crying.

So here's the reason why. As I said, my childhood was pretty tumultuous, dad was physically and verbally abusive to all of us. My mom left him when I was in Grade 7, towards the end of the school year. I came home one day to a truck was waiting outside and my mom was telling us to pack quickly - we were leaving. My dad came home to find the house empty and tracked us down. He arrived at the apartment and caused such a scene the cops had to be called on him. But that wasn't what made me cry. I realised, during my trip, that in the midst of that madness, I was about to begin high school, started my period a few days after we moved into the apartment and also started having insomnia. Money was tight then, I shared a double bed with my mom and younger brother. Every night, like clockwork, I would wake up unable to sleep. Instead of my mom checking up on me with regards to why I couldn't sleep, she yelled at me about having a secret boyfriend that I was visiting at night. My mom was stone cold back in those days, looking back now, I don't blame her. Walking away with 4 kids in tow and little finances would be enough to drive anyone mad.

But unfortunately for me, I had growing pains and because the adults were so busy dealing with their mess, I never had someone to confide in, talk to me or guide me. So much of my life changed in one go and I never had anyone to walk me through it. I buried everything deep inside. So much so, that the day my mom called the cops on my dad, my older sister started crying and I told her to stop. At 12 years old, I had become so closed off emotionally. I never resolved the anger and hurt of that particular moment and last night, it came rushing out. I grew up very emotionally closed off in general, if fact, these are just some of the life experiences I've had. I had many that would shock you and I had buried each one deep down. For the sake of my mental and emotional healing. I hope I can reach them, little by little in order to move forward the way I need to.

Pro: Pro's speak for themselves
Con: I took the shrooms at 6:30pm last night. In total, the trip lasted about 2 hours. But my brain was still so active that I couldn't sleep all night. I start work pretty early - 7:30am. So I have a set night-time routine. My brain was so active last night that I only managed to fall asleep in the early hours of the morning. So I won't be taking shrooms in the evening before a work day for a bit.

Can I say that my life has suddenly changed considerably? No! But I am noticing little tiny changes/ epiphanies and I'm hopeful that things will get better from here.

I'm going to wait 2 weeks and try 1g/2g this time.

PS: I would still tell anyone looking to try this for depression and anxiety to proceed with caution. Luckily, I was able to speak to the guy I bought the shrooms from, I explained that I was trying to achieve and he advised me on what type to get and how much to take. Some types are more aggressive. Start small.
 

Jhercules

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 9, 2011
Messages
155
DISCLAIMER: LONG POST

I finally got my hands on shrooms.
I've been looking for something to help me with my anxiety and depression. I've since taken them twice (1g of Golden Teachers each time - decided to start small).

Firstly, I'd like to add that my depression was pretty severe. Not to make excuses but growing up, I had a tumultuous childhood and in my early 20's, entered an 8-year long emotionally abusive relationship. I left my ex last year with nothing but my clothes and started again (I'm 30 now). As much as leaving him has 100% been the best thing I've ever done, after 8 years, I've been trying to regain balance and figure out who I am again.

Anyway. Here's my experience for far from the two trips.

TRIP 1: The first trip was interesting. I saw colour like I had never seen colour before. I felt alive.

At some point, it felt as if I was flying through my brain, almost like going down a rabbit hole that just didn't end, I remember thinking to myself "My brain has so much to explore". It felt good.
On the other hand, though, I also saw images of someone with a slashed up bloody face (not sure what that's about).

Pro: I wrote 3 days after that first trip, for the first time in a long time. I have had severe writer's block (I am a pretty creative person, but I stopped doing all the things I loved when my depression hit).

Con: My body temperature dropped. I was insanely cold.


TRIP 2: This was last night. This trip was less intense but powerful nonetheless. Before I took the shrooms, I asked my subconscious to show me what I needed to see. Good/bad. The trip started the same way. My body temperate dropped considerably but this time I had armed myself with warm clothes and my microwave neck bean blanket. So I was good. My head was all over the place, jumping from one image to another. Eventually, an image flashed of an old apartment my mom, siblings and I once lived in. I was standing at the window of that apartment. Suddenly, images started flashing related to that apartment. I started crying.

So here's the reason why. As I said, my childhood was pretty tumultuous, dad was physically and verbally abusive to all of us. My mom left him when I was in Grade 7, towards the end of the school year. I came home one day to a truck was waiting outside and my mom was telling us to pack quickly - we were leaving. My dad came home to find the house empty and tracked us down. He arrived at the apartment and caused such a scene the cops had to be called on him. But that wasn't what made me cry. I realised, during my trip, that in the midst of that madness, I was about to begin high school, started my period a few days after we moved into the apartment and also started having insomnia. Money was tight then, I shared a double bed with my mom and younger brother. Every night, like clockwork, I would wake up unable to sleep. Instead of my mom checking up on me with regards to why I couldn't sleep, she yelled at me about having a secret boyfriend that I was visiting at night. My mom was stone cold back in those days, looking back now, I don't blame her. Walking away with 4 kids in tow and little finances would be enough to drive anyone mad.

But unfortunately for me, I had growing pains and because the adults were so busy dealing with their mess, I never had someone to confide in, talk to me or guide me. So much of my life changed in one go and I never had anyone to walk me through it. I buried everything deep inside. So much so, that the day my mom called the cops on my dad, my older sister started crying and I told her to stop. At 12 years old, I had become so closed off emotionally. I never resolved the anger and hurt of that particular moment and last night, it came rushing out. I grew up very emotionally closed off in general, if fact, these are just some of the life experiences I've had. I had many that would shock you and I had buried each one deep down. For the sake of my mental and emotional healing. I hope I can reach them, little by little in order to move forward the way I need to.

Pro: Pro's speak for themselves
Con: I took the shrooms at 6:30pm last night. In total, the trip lasted about 2 hours. But my brain was still so active that I couldn't sleep all night. I start work pretty early - 7:30am. So I have a set night-time routine. My brain was so active last night that I only managed to fall asleep in the early hours of the morning. So I won't be taking shrooms in the evening before a work day for a bit.

Can I say that my life has suddenly changed considerably? No! But I am noticing little tiny changes/ epiphanies and I'm hopeful that things will get better from here.

I'm going to wait 2 weeks and try 1g/2g this time.

PS: I would still tell anyone looking to try this for depression and anxiety to proceed with caution. Luckily, I was able to speak to the guy I bought the shrooms from, I explained that I was trying to achieve and he advised me on what type to get and how much to take. Some types are more aggressive. Start small.
Thanks for sharing. Sorry for what you have been through. If I may offer some advise cause I have been there. You can reap incredible benefits if you combine it with some kind of therapy.

CBT is great but works better with a therapist. For solo work on emotional baggage I highly recommend Sedona Method or PSTEC. Both have free resources you can access online.

Work with these and your issues for a couple weeks and keep a journal. Return to the shrooms when you hit a wall. Good luck!
 

schuits

Expert Member
Joined
Mar 7, 2013
Messages
1,264
Thanks for sharing. Sorry for what you have been through. If I may offer some advise cause I have been there. You can reap incredible benefits if you combine it with some kind of therapy.

CBT is great but works better with a therapist. For solo work on emotional baggage I highly recommend Sedona Method or PSTEC. Both have free resources you can access online.

Work with these and your issues for a couple weeks and keep a journal. Return to the shrooms when you hit a wall. Good luck!
That Sedona site looks like too much commercial new age stuff for me.
But the PSTEC looks interesting. Cognitive psychology mixed with hypnotherapy.
I tried the first click track with positive results so far, will definitely investigate more, thnx.
 
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
3
Thanks for sharing. Sorry for what you have been through. If I may offer some advise cause I have been there. You can reap incredible benefits if you combine it with some kind of therapy.

CBT is great but works better with a therapist. For solo work on emotional baggage I highly recommend Sedona Method or PSTEC. Both have free resources you can access online.

Work with these and your issues for a couple weeks and keep a journal. Return to the shrooms when you hit a wall. Good luck!
Hey, thank you so much for your response!
With regards to therapy, I am not opposed to it (Done it before). Unfortunately, though, no one tells you how expensive it is financially. I'm not on medical aid right now. But I am definitely not writing it out as a viable option. I just have to do what I can what resources available to me now.

I am definitely going to try the Sedona method/ PSTEC in the meantime since it's free. I had never heard of either of these until now. I am going to read up more on it and try it in the evening.

I'll keep you posted!
 
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