Travelling without partner

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27 is potentially settling down age especially if you going out with someone for 5 years. You cannot go on a trip without her if you plan on spending the rest of your life with her, if not just break up with her and go on the trip and save yourself the hassle. there is no easy answer bru

Why not? As you mentioned, he is at the age where long term relationships really start to settle. This may be his last opportunity to do something without the worry of it affecting anyone else, particularly on the financial front. He does this now, they settle down, get married and never have the worry that he held back on his desires because he was afraid of offending her. Starting off the next chapter of a serious relationship with a large dose of resentment helps nobody.
 
You say she can afford it...yet you say she can't work with money.

Is it not a simple case of her not WANTING to afford it? As such that means she doesn't want to go and you should be free to do as you please if it's your hearts desire.

Otherwise go to Zanzibar, or Kenya, or Malawi for two weeks and take her along.

Also if you have marriage in mind then my No.1 worry would be sorting out her financial habits.
 
Ok guys. Be nice. Points taken. Leaning towards not going now.
Just hoping I don't regret it in the future which I probably will.

As mentioned previously you only have 2 choices:

1. Stay here with her and use to money on something or keep saving it, what ever.
2. Break up with your chick and go. No matter how you try roll this dough, it just won't work. Either she's going to cheat or you're going to cheat. It's not fair to anyone.
 
As mentioned previously you only have 2 choices:

1. Stay here with her and use to money on something or keep saving it, what ever.
2. Break up with your chick and go. No matter how you try roll this dough, it just won't work. Either she's going to cheat or you're going to cheat. It's not fair to anyone.

No, he doesn't. Not everyone lacks a sense of morality.
 
My last words to the OP: you do realise that it is already too late? The seed of doubt has already been planted in your GF's mind.

So, tonight, when you tell her that you have decided not to go, be prepared for the most epic argument of your relationship. Starting with her asking what would seem to be a simple question: "So, what changed your mind?"...and then realising at 4am tomorrow morning that nothing you say will be the right thing.

So, after the breakup, go and have fun with your mate!
 
Dude 50K is more than enough for the both of you for an overseas trip excl spending money. Ask her to contribute what she can(might be surprised that it's a good chuck of change) buy the tickets and go have fun. You don't have to go with a tour if it's too expensive. Think of other countries if the ones you were planning on is too expensive

You may not be able to go to multiple countries or stay in a nice hotel but I've sure as hell traveled for much less than that and still had a blast. Take her to Paris stay somewhere on the outskirts and ride the metro to sights everyday(a ticket is like R800 for a week or something). Kiss her under the eiffel tower it's free.

If she's worth it the trip will be worth it if not as big a party as with a tour of crazies.
 
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You say she can afford it...yet you say she can't work with money.

Is it not a simple case of her not WANTING to afford it? As such that means she doesn't want to go and you should be free to do as you please if it's your hearts desire.

Otherwise go to Zanzibar, or Kenya, or Malawi for two weeks and take her along.

No its just a case of terrible financial management. No savings, no pension, etc. I pay medical aid and majority of everything else. She earns a decent salary but spends it keeping up with the Jones's. I try and advise, budget etc and it works for a day or two and then its back to square one and when I check up on it its a fight. Eish. Story for another day I guess.

She really wants to go(which makes it harder for me) but some how can't save at all.
 
Dude 50K is more than enough for the both of you for an overseas trip excl spending money. Ask her to contribute what she can(might be surprised that it's a good chuck of change) buy the tickets and go have fun. You don't have to go with a tour if it's too expensive. Think of other countries if the ones you were planning on is too expensive

You may not be able to go to multiple countries or stay in a nice hotel but I've sure as hell traveled for much less than that and still had a blast. Take her to Paris stay somewhere on the outskirts and ride the metro to sight seeing everyday(like R800 for a week or something). Kiss her under the eiffel tower it's free.

I spent about half that for 7 days all expenses paid in Kenya over December when everything is double the price.

So 50k should cover two people with all expenses en alles if you just stay on the continent.
 
She really wants to go(which makes it harder for me) but some how can't save at all.

Well then tell her to sort her **** out and you'll go when she has the money.

If she can't manage to save for the holiday how is she going to save for a wedding? How is your marriage going to last if you already have these problems?
 
I spent about half that for 7 days all expenses paid in Kenya over December when everything is double the price.

So 50k should cover two people with all expenses en alles if you just stay on the continent.
Don't even have to stay on the continent I've been to Paris at about half of that maybe slightly over. Don't be THAT guy OP, sweep her off her feet man!
 
Well then tell her to sort her **** out and you'll go when she has the money.

If she can't manage to save for the holiday how is she going to save for a wedding? How is your marriage going to last if you already have these problems?
Or maybe give her a lower bar, tell her to save R20000 and you'll take her. That's 40% as diligent as you and you seem to be on the extreme side in any case so thats probably a more realistic target for the average person who doesn't save as diligently as you. Your GF is NOT you and can never have your attributes you need to understand that or it's going to be a tough road ahead(You wouldnt want to shag yourself in any case). And you can never look as pretty as her doesn't matter how much makeup you wear!
 
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As mentioned previously you only have 2 choices:

1. Stay here with her and use to money on something or keep saving it, what ever.
2. Break up with your chick and go. No matter how you try roll this dough, it just won't work. Either she's going to cheat or you're going to cheat. It's not fair to anyone.

Jesus, dude. Is sex literally the only thing that occupies your mind?

There's more to life, travelling and relationships than sex.
 
You save 12k a month and can't afford to take her with?

As per OP she just makes bad financial decisions. I wouldn't pay for her if she makes her own money but squanders it.

So yeah, OP, if you're serious about this lady, rather invest all that money and try and work on getting her on the right track, financially speaking. Financial irresponsibility is a huge red flag, imo.

And then in a couple of years you'll have a decent pile of cash and can go on an epic trip and hopefully she'll also have grown up a bit.
 
Jesus, dude. Is sex literally the only thing that occupies your mind?

There's more to life, travelling and relationships than sex.

This made me lol HARD!!!

He posted this thread knowing exactly what he is getting himself into and wanting you guys to approve it. Don't come here with your high horse. As I said earlier, if you can go 4 weeks without getting laid Good on you. Unlike yourself I don't have to satisfy myself. And there is nothing wrong with that. I would rather take that hot German chick home and bonk her than laying in the bed jerking off at the thought of what could have been. Different strokes for different folks I suppose...
 
I still think you should go now before the regret sets in.

You could postpone it for a while, but what happens when you jet off to the UK as you planned? You get there, work hard to establish yourself and put the trip on hold. Then when you're finally settled you're looking at 30. What about marriage and kids? Plenty of pressure for both from most women (not all, but most) as they feel their biological clock is ticking. So you decide to get married, there go the funds for that trip. So you work hard after you get married, but sooner or later a kid pops up (considering you're in your early 30s here). Say goodbye to most of your free cash, but more importantly almost all of your free time. So fine, you decide to stick it out for a few years until you feel comfortable enough to dump the kid at your parents for a month to go on an epic trip, but by now you're in your late 30s. 40 is around the corner, you're in a senior position and have to graft hard in the hopes of an early retirement, because if you manage to retire at 45 or 50 you still have a good few years left to enjoy life. So you postpone it once again. But by now your kid is growing up and dreams of travelling in Europe, which reminds you of your dream. You sit at 42, never having done your epic trip and remembering that it was your girlfriend (now wife) was the reason why you help back. Resentment has been growing for years and you have a blow up, resulting in a divorce. The wife takes everything, dreams of early retirement fade as you have to work your arse off just to rebuild your life in your mid 40s. You develop a drug addiction and a penchant for young women with loose morals. You get aids and ebola at the same time, and slowly waste away while watching your child tour Europe on his mothers account (with the money she took from you). He loves his mother more because she sent him to Europe, and daddy is just a washed up, sick druggie. You die alone, never having experienced Europe, the end.
 
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