What was your worst consensual sexual experience?

[HunterNW]

I honestly honestly thought I was going to cum when my stomach churned and without notice a poop fell out, a solid, longish poop, onto her sheets, neatly between her legs.
.

I almost p!s$ed myself. This is the funnies k@k i've read on mybb.

 

[HunterNW]

That little suction puppy grabbed right testicle faster than a flash of lightning. Have you ever had a ball of paper caught on the end of a vacuum cleaner, and it makes that blocked up sound??? Yeah well this made pretty much the same sound.
Now any other reasonable person would just have switched the vacuum cleaner off. Well, not me, in my panicked state, I tried to pull the vacuum loose. This is where you realise how powerful that suction is. At this point seeing that my nut sack was moments away of being removed in it's entirety, I had the clarity of mind to turn the vacuum off.
..

Neeeee f@k..... I need a toilet..quick.

 

[ice_cubes]

This was a term that was coined to describe that during sex some females merely lay there like a starfish – legs apart and arms outspread with no movement or participation. They provide access to their genitals but there’s not much else going on for them nor being done for their partner.

we call them Nandos chicken

 

[HunterNW]

Here's one story, for now....
One evening me and the ex (then she was the wife) had the night to ourselves. Her kids were away with their dad.
We played pool in the dining room, indulged in plenty of whisky, and eventually both were naked. Long story short, i rubbed the cue ball on her moemfie. (Can we say pu$$y ?) The ball slipped in. Fck. I thought it was funny but she started to panick as the ball didn't want to pop out ! Damn, tried to get my fingers in but the ball was all wet and smooth. So after getting her to calm down, relax, she popped it out. That was the end to a kinky evening.

 

[Pineapple Smurf]

^^

 

[Sinbad]

jirre. that's a bit los.

 

[HunterNW]

jirre. that's a bit los.

Ok ok ....maybe I pushed a little on the cue ball

 

[MachoPants]

She didn't want to swallow, she spat, my face was wet milliseconds later.

 

[Pineapple Smurf]

Cue Ball is slightly smaller than the rest of the other balls. LOL

 

[Pineapple Smurf]

She didn't want to swallow, she spat, my face was wet milliseconds later.

 

[HunterNW]

Another one..... Read about this in previous posts.
Had a shag buddy years back. This young lady liked having the lights turned off. So one evening after doing the naughty i went to the bathroom. FCK ! Thought i shagged my d!ck to pieces, was just blood. Looking in the mirror wasn't a pretty sight. Went back to the bedroom and asked het wtf ? She said sorry, she new it was that time but couldn't resist. Last time she visited.

 

[CT_Biker]

I have always been a firm believer in foreplay.

So one day myself and this girl were getting to things, and I was settling in to it quite nicely.
Got my finger right where I needed too, and had at it making sure that I do not miss that jellybean thingy.

Upon further inspection I noticed that a large portion of my hand was covered with the left overs from her endometrium.

T'was rather awks.

 

[HunterNW]

She didn't want to swallow, she spat, my face was wet milliseconds later.

What does it taste like ?

 

[Pineapple Smurf]

Another one..... Read about this in previous posts.
Had a shag buddy years back. This young lady liked having the lights turned off. So one evening after doing the naughty i went to the bathroom. FCK ! Thought i shagged my d!ck to pieces, was just blood. Looking in the mirror wasn't a pretty sight. Went back to the bedroom and asked het wtf ? She said sorry, she new it was that time but couldn't resist. Last time she visited.

 

[MachoPants]

What does it taste like ?

To this day OJ makes me

 

[HunterNW]

Upon further inspection I noticed that a large portion of my hand was covered with the left overs from her endometrium.
T'was rather awks.

 

[Pineapple Smurf]

To this day OJ makes me

 

[CT_Biker]

Yeah....I though those things were self cleaning.

 

[HunterNW]

Dunno if this counts:
Quite recently had a very sexy lady over. For 44 she have the body of a 20 something. Had some wine, chat and then on the bed. Exploring her body i noticed hair... on her boobs. Just a couple of long fcking hairs around the nipples. The rest of her body was silky smooth. So i asked her wtf ?? That was a turn off.... hair on a boob.

 

[Pineapple Smurf]