Wife cheated

Freddl said:
In South Africa you do not need grounds for divorce. Since the two do not appear to share many assets, a divorce should be quick and relatively (financially) painless.

To the OP I just want to say one thing, if one of the partners is unfaithful, the other party is not completely blameless. A relationship takes dedication and hard work from both parties
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Bullshit. You are not responsible for other people's decisions.
 
Freddl said:
In South Africa you do not need grounds for divorce. Since the two do not appear to share many assets, a divorce should be quick and relatively (financially) painless.

To the OP I just want to say one thing, if one of the partners is unfaithful, the other party is not completely blameless. A relationship takes dedication and hard work from both parties
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Total and unutterable bollocks.

I have been cheated on before and it had sweet fsck all to do with me or anything I did, my partner at the time was just a slut who slept around like the village bicycle I eventually found out, and she has done it to multiple "boyfriends" since me.
 
ToxicBunny said:
Total and unutterable bollocks.

I have been cheated on before and it had sweet fsck all to do with me or anything I did, my partner at the time was just a slut who slept around like the village bicycle I eventually found out, and she has done it to multiple "boyfriends" since me.
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This is the sort of post that's useless without picktjas.
 
ToxicBunny said:
Ahhh but there are so many village bicycle for you to choose from if that is your sort of vibe :p

Also I has no photos, I was much younger and when it happened I nuked every bit of evidence of her from my life...
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Same with me. Only my situation was worse - there was a kid involved. Five years, three of which we were engaged in. And a 1 year old girl.

She slept with two guys, who I won't really call friends, but I knew them. When I found this out, I couldn't kick her out immediately because I thought of "my" kid so I took her for a paternity test.

During this time she was staying with a friend.

When the results came back negative, I immediately went to buy the cheapest schittiest suitcases and packed all her **** and booked her an Intercape ticket to leave the next morning (she was from a different province). Whatever couldn't fit, I threw in the garbage bin. I took the suitcases and results to her at thhe friends place, rang the doorbell and left the results on top of one of the bags.

I have never seen her again after that.
 
Toxxyc said:
You sound like the kind of guy that'll use this BS as an excuse to cheat on your partner. I know a few of this type. "Yeah he/she drove me to do it."
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I have been happily married for 40 years. Before I married I had plenty relationships (it was the 70's- the era of free love) . I know something about the work required to stay happily married for a long time.
 
The_Donkey said:
Same with me. Only my situation was worse - there was a kid involved. Five years, three of which we were engaged in. And a 1 year old girl.

She slept with two guys, who I won't really call friends, but I knew them. When I found this out, I couldn't kick her out immediately because I thought of "my" kid so I took her for a paternity test.

During this time she was staying with a friend.

When the results came back negative, I immediately went to buy the cheapest schittiest suitcases and packed all her **** and booked her an Intercape ticket to leave the next morning (she was from a different province). Whatever couldn't fit, I threw in the garbage bin. I took the suitcases and results to her at thhe friends place, rang the doorbell and left the results on top of one of the bags.

I have never seen her again after that.
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Is this why you drink?
 
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The_Donkey said:
Same with me. Only my situation was worse - there was a kid involved. Five years, three of which we were engaged in. And a 1 year old girl.

She slept with two guys, who I won't really call friends, but I knew them. When I found this out, I couldn't kick her out immediately because I thought of "my" kid so I took her for a paternity test.

During this time she was staying with a friend.

When the results came back negative, I immediately went to buy the cheapest schittiest suitcases and packed all her **** and booked her an Intercape ticket to leave the next morning (she was from a different province). Whatever couldn't fit, I threw in the garbage bin. I took the suitcases and results to her at thhe friends place, rang the doorbell and left the results on top of one of the bags.

I have never seen her again after that.
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And the 1 year old girl?
 
eehellfire said:
And the 1 year old girl?
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As much as it tore me apart, I had to use my brain and let her go. To raise a kid for a year and then life just comes and rips it away from you, that will break any man.

I still kept her (kid) on my medical aid for more than a year after they left until my now wife told me to take her off as it's not my responsibility anymore. I tried to hide this little secret from my wife until that day she found out. She immediately made me take the kid off.

It took me many years to get over the kid and I still sometimes wonder "where in the world is she", "does she have something to eat", etc. Of course my wife does not allow me to have any contact with her or her piece of trash mother, but I suppose it's better that way.
 
Toxxyc said:
You sound like the kind of guy that'll use this BS as an excuse to cheat on your partner. I know a few of this type. "Yeah he/she drove me to do it."
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It is easier to fall for someone when they give you something you don't get at home. Usually in the form of love, attention, or excitement.
The sad reality is that it is very difficult to keep the love, attention and especially excitement going in a long term relationship, especially with kids.
New love will almost always be more exciting.

If you are the type to come home, have your wife make you dinner which you eat in front of the PC, then game all night and crawl into bed when she is already asleep and then wake up when she already left for work, it won't be that difficult for someone else to have her feel better loved than at home.

This doesn't say it justifies it, or removes any of the blame. They should still recognise the signs and stop anything before cheating, but it just makes the temptation bigger.

Other times, people are just cheaters and they cheat because they can.
 
Nope sorry, on the kid we will disagree. You raised her for a year, you were her dad for all intent and purposes. Just because it is someone else 'glue', all the emotional joy and bonding means nothing? SO someone spent 5 minutes fukking her at the party, you had the pleasure of bonding with the kid, see her grow. And you threw that away as well?

And your wife at the moment made you just drop her cold turkey like that? what if she requires medical help, as she always had, all of a sudden that is gone?

Nah mate, dropping the wife is one thing we agree on, dropping a child who saw you as her dad, even only a year old, not cool.
But that is just my humble opinion, based on raising my sister's twins when the dad bailed out once he heard she is pregnant. I am dad, I am the one they come to for help, for sharing their achievements or their pain.
 
The_Donkey said:
As much as it tore me apart, I had to use my brain and let her go. To raise a kid for a year and then life just comes and rips it away from you, that will break any man.

I still kept her (kid) on my medical aid for more than a year after they left until my now wife told me to take her off as it's not my responsibility anymore. I tried to hide this little secret from my wife until that day she found out. She immediately made me take the kid off.

It took me many years to get over the kid and I still sometimes wonder "where in the world is she", "does she have something to eat", etc. Of course my wife does not allow me to have any contact with her or her piece of trash mother, but I suppose it's better that way.
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Rough. It's an unenviable position to be in
 
Freddl said:
I have been happily married for 40 years. Before I married I had plenty relationships (it was the 70's- the era of free love) . I know something about the work required to stay happily married for a long time.
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I did not know this. I'm sorry, I jumped the gun. 40 years is a good stretch, and I find that incredibly awesome. Well done. Sorry for accusing you of something like I did.

As a PS: I don't fully agree with you still. There's reasons for a lot of things, but choices are actively made.

The_Donkey said:
Same with me. Only my situation was worse - there was a kid involved. Five years, three of which we were engaged in. And a 1 year old girl.

She slept with two guys, who I won't really call friends, but I knew them. When I found this out, I couldn't kick her out immediately because I thought of "my" kid so I took her for a paternity test.

During this time she was staying with a friend.

When the results came back negative, I immediately went to buy the cheapest schittiest suitcases and packed all her **** and booked her an Intercape ticket to leave the next morning (she was from a different province). Whatever couldn't fit, I threw in the garbage bin. I took the suitcases and results to her at thhe friends place, rang the doorbell and left the results on top of one of the bags.

I have never seen her again after that.
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Holy ****. I'd die. I know how much I loved my kid after a year. If I had to find out he's not mine...
 
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