Wife cheated

so,

can i get her number?


Im kidding, I really feel for you man, its one of my biggest fears in life, Not getting physically hurt, not being homeless, not starving.... But being cheated on.
Personally i think its one of 2 things

She didnt bang him, she just knew that would help you end it and boot her out. You guys married young, she might feel that shes "wasting her good years while her friends can still party", also the house buying might have scared her off? But shes changed her mind and thats why you guys are still chatting and it seems "fine"

or She banged him, told you , and wants to get out, but is hoping you give her something to help going forward

Either way, Dump her at her parents (Do the right thing by them. They didnt hurt you, they just failed as parents)
If you uber her there, or chuck her on a bus you wont get the closure you deserve

Good luck going forward man. I do not envy your situation at all
 
Toxxyc said:
I did not know this. I'm sorry, I jumped the gun. 40 years is a good stretch, and I find that incredibly awesome. Well done. Sorry for accusing you of something like I did.

As a PS: I don't fully agree with you still. There's reasons for a lot of things, but choices are actively made.


Holy ****. I'd die. I know how much I loved my kid after a year. If I had to find out he's not mine...
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With a paternity test yuo have to give two addresses. One for the mother and one for the alleged father, so naturally you're not allowed to give the same address and since we were living together at the time I was forced (thank Jah) to give a friend of mine's address.

When my letter was delivered, he called me, so I told him to open it and read to me WTF it said.

"There's a 99.99% possibility that paternity can be excluded". For as long as I live I will never forget those words.

I knew what I had to do, but before I did anything I went to the daycare and spent a few hours with the kid, saying goodbye.

It hurt incredibly much!!!

After that I went home and went to work on getting rid of that bitch :thumbsup:
 
Big Rat said:
Nope sorry, on the kid we will disagree. You raised her for a year, you were her dad for all intent and purposes. Just because it is someone else 'glue', all the emotional joy and bonding means nothing? SO someone spent 5 minutes fukking her at the party, you had the pleasure of bonding with the kid, see her grow. And you threw that away as well?

And your wife at the moment made you just drop her cold turkey like that? what if she requires medical help, as she always had, all of a sudden that is gone?

Nah mate, dropping the wife is one thing we agree on, dropping a child who saw you as her dad, even only a year old, not cool.
But that is just my humble opinion, based on raising my sister's twins when the dad bailed out once he heard she is pregnant. I am dad, I am the one they come to for help, for sharing their achievements or their pain.
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We're derailing OP's thread here! :)

Look it's easy to say, and I hear you. The problem was the mother would never have allowed me to keep the kid and let her leave alone. I had no legal leg to stand on, especially given that I'm not the father. The other problem was my (now) wife hated the mother with a passion and it would have been impossible to even run the thought by my wife to keep the kid.
 
The_Donkey said:
With a paternity test yuo have to give two addresses. One for the mother and one for the alleged father, so naturally you're not allowed to give the same address and since we were living together at the time I was forced (thank Jah) to give a friend of mine's address.

When my letter was delivered, he called me, so I told him to open it and read to me WTF it said.

"There's a 99.99% possibility that paternity can be excluded". For as long as I live I will never forget those words.

I knew what I had to do, but before I did anything I went to the daycare and spent a few hours with the kid, saying goodbye.

It hurt incredibly much!!!

After that I went home and went to work on getting rid of that bitch :thumbsup:
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Sheesh bro..... that's a hard one.
 
James 77 said:
Me speaking with the professional and my friends came to the following :
From her actions and words
-she says she wants to go back home to her parents, and that’s why she wants to get a divorce.
-she had an affair
-she doesn’t love him and isn’t in love with him (she says) (apparently it was stupidity)
-she still loves me
-she is still living here and even started cooking (i used to do all the cooking)

From my side:
-I do still love her. I will always.
-I’m not sure I can trust her with regards to what she’s saying, and I won’t be able to trust her fully ever again.
-There are many contradictions in what she says.
-I’m not sure she loves me.

What is weird is it seems she hasn’t found closure yet, we had coffee outside and talked and she was sad when I spoke about my future plans and moving on etc.

Divorce is definitely the one and only thing to do.
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Sorry to hear OP :(

Your situation reminds me of this song:


And all I can do, is keep on tellin' you
I want you (I want you),
I need you (I need you)
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad (don't be sad 'cause)'
Cause two out of three ain't bad
 
The_Donkey said:
We're derailing OP's thread here! :)

Look it's easy to say, and I hear you. The problem was the mother would never have allowed me to keep the kid and let her leave alone. I had no legal leg to stand on, especially given that I'm not the father. The other problem was my (now) wife hated the mother with a passion and it would have been impossible to even run the thought by my wife to keep the kid.
Click to expand...

I've learned the hard way that the hardest decision and right decision are often the same :-(
 
The_Donkey said:
With a paternity test yuo have to give two addresses. One for the mother and one for the alleged father, so naturally you're not allowed to give the same address and since we were living together at the time I was forced (thank Jah) to give a friend of mine's address.

When my letter was delivered, he called me, so I told him to open it and read to me WTF it said.

"There's a 99.99% possibility that paternity can be excluded". For as long as I live I will never forget those words.

I knew what I had to do, but before I did anything I went to the daycare and spent a few hours with the kid, saying goodbye.

It hurt incredibly much!!!

After that I went home and went to work on getting rid of that bitch :thumbsup:
Click to expand...
Man, I don't know if I would be able to do that. I understand it, but I don't know. Condolences. Damn.
 
The_Hobbit said:
Tell us how you treat guys who hit on your wife in front of you?
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I invite them to go shooting and start showing them pictures of my guns. They never accept the offer, strangely enough, and they decline usually when I mention a quiet range where no other people ever are around and it would be just the two of us and a big-ass piece of bushveld.
 
Toxxyc said:
I invite them to go shooting and start showing them pictures of my guns. They never accept the offer, strangely enough, and they decline usually when I mention a quiet range where no other people ever are around and it would be just the two of us and a big-ass piece of bushveld.
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"Accidents happen"
 
Toxxyc said:
I invite them to go shooting and start showing them pictures of my guns. They never accept the offer, strangely enough, and they decline usually when I mention a quiet range where no other people ever are around and it would be just the two of us and a big-ass piece of bushveld.
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The fact that they were just hitting on your wife would probably suggest they aren't into men(you).

Maybe that's why they decline the offer.
 
rietrot said:
The fact that they were just hitting on your wife would probably suggest they aren't into men(you).

Maybe that's why they decline the offer.
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Makes sense. Doesn't explain the hasty retreat though.

I kid, obviously, but I don't take kindly to guys who hit on my wife. Friendly is one thing, but there is a line.
 
Short blonde with big bits? I'm sorry bro, she said she was single.
 
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