Depression.

I've had mild depression in the past but nothing hectic.

Also remember watching an interview with a man who said depression was much worse than the sadness he felt when his wife died.
 
Been depressed lately after my supposedly friend back stabbed me in the back deep

Sucks big time.

Not devaluing what you're feeling, but is it actually depression?

When a family member did a hatchet job on me I was angry, surprised, disappointed, rejected. I felt stupid that I'd trusted her but I wasn't depressed.
 
When a family member did a hatchet job on me I was angry, surprised, disappointed, rejected. I felt stupid that I'd trusted her but I wasn't depressed.
I don't let people in and when I do I get hurt badly nowadays I have changed in such a way to shut up and just listen to people without responding back
 
Few days on serdep and the nausea is gone but I now feel bloated as heck. Will see what the next few days bring as I'll be going to 50mg on Friday.
 
I don't let people in and when I do I get hurt badly nowadays I have changed in such a way to shut up and just listen to people without responding back

That's what happens but it's a shame to have to close your emotions down.
 
Bloating gone now it's a constant tiredness. Going to be bed earlier and actually getting plenty of sleep but yawning all day at work. Eish.
 
I'm starting on Cilift 20mg tomorrow. Seriously hope this is gonna help without causing too much harm.

Ladies on anti-depressants, how did it affect you? I'm scared of changing completely and being so horrible that it causes issues with my bf
 
I'm starting on Cilift 20mg tomorrow. Seriously hope this is gonna help without causing too much harm.

Ladies on anti-depressants, how did it affect you? I'm scared of changing completely and being so horrible that it causes issues with my bf

I've been on Cilift - Make the assumption that you are likely to feel a bit weird for the first month to two months, and prepare for that.

Agree to assess the situation with yourself and the people around you once things have normalised.
 
I've decided that I need to be on meds for this year. Not ideal, but having spent all of last year idealistically fantasizing that I can function optionally without meds and then essentially treading water for 12 months seems to indicate I've got to reexamine the matter.

I've commenced battle with my medical aid for psych sessions, we shall see how that goes. Meds-wise, I am reluctant to try SSRIs again, as they, frankly, completely break my dick and turn me existentially numb.

The other two options I am actually willing to try, I cannot afford (Vortioxetine and Venlafaxine). I was also interested in trying Mirtazipine, but my GP just laughed it off as an 'old drug'.

Hopefully I can get at least one or two psych consults to figure out the issue of meds.

****. So hard just to get to the start of treatment, never mind the process itself.
 
I'm starting on Cilift 20mg tomorrow. Seriously hope this is gonna help without causing too much harm.

Ladies on anti-depressants, how did it affect you? I'm scared of changing completely and being so horrible that it causes issues with my bf

Don't know about Cilift but no problems for me with Cipralex.
 
Have you looked at Moclobemide and Selegiline?

I have been researching them for other reasons(i.e. longevity and possible nootropic effects), but from everything I read it would be my first things to try if I had clinical depression.
 
So, as EX_mrs_ant_man says: 'Don't **** with depression'.

I started the year with what amounted to a small-scale nervous breakdown. Nothing dramatic externally, but I was barely coping with day to day tasks and the thought of suicide was persistently gnawing at me.

Long story short, after much ruminating about medication I was willing to take and some adventures with a clueless (but well-meaning) GP that has included a 3-week slide into the beginnings of a Lorazepam habit, I am currently taking 30 mgs of Mirtazapine, an often overlooked medication in favour of the SSRIs (which I am not willing to use, the primary reasons being that they run a significant risk of breaking your dick completely and also made me almost completely emotionally numb), that turns out to be a pretty efficient antidepressant provided you can avoid the ravenous cravings it engenders (this is no joke) and the subsequent enfattening this will cause. Along with this, I was advised by a psychiatrist to try 50 mgs of Sulpiride (an atypical antipsychotic - sounds scary, right?) twice per day when necessary (to deal with anxiety). I'm ambivalent on this one at this stage - It's hard to tell if it's doing anything to be honest.

In any event, I'm just laying this bare for the simple reason that I keep trying to deal with this without medication, and every single time, I inevitably fall victim to the depression monster and if I can save someone from this trouble, that would be great. The bottom line is that some of us have a crazy chemical ****storm in our heads, and medication is an absolute necessity if we are to have any hope of the semblance of a normal life.

There is no shame in taking medication, is all I'm saying. Whatever your thoughts on the matter (dear reader - I'm sure you are eminently sensible and empathic regarding all this), there is a very strong social and societal frowning-upon when it comes to these drugs. They are indeed over-prescribed and in many respects are not to be trifled with, but if they are needed, goddamn are they a miracle.

To those who don't understand this, rejoice. To never know the skewing of reality brought about by clinical depression is something not to be taken lightly.

In any event, my life is still objectively a bit of a mess, but at least I can take stock and improve it, without wanting to kill myself all the time now.
 
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So, as EX_mrs_ant_man says: 'Don't **** with depression'.

I started the year with what amounted to a small-scale nervous breakdown. Nothing dramatic externally, but I was barely coping with day to day tasks and the thought of suicide was persistently gnawing at me.

Long story short, after much ruminating about medication I was willing to take and some adventures with a clueless (but well-meaning) GP that has included a 3-week slide into the beginnings of a Lorazepam habit, I am currently taking 30 mgs of Mirtazapine, an often overlooked medication in favour of the SSRIs (which I am not willing to use, the primary reasons being that they run a significant risk of breaking your dick completely and also made me almost completely emotionally numb), that turns out to be a pretty efficient antidepressant provided you can avoid the ravenous cravings it engenders (this is no joke) and the subsequent enfattening this will cause. Along with this, I was advised by a psychiatrist to try 50 mgs of Sulpiride (an atypical antipsychotic - sounds scary, right?) twice per day when necessary (to deal with anxiety). I'm ambivalent on this one at this stage - It's hard to tell if it's doing anything to be honest.

In any event, I'm just laying this bare for the simple reason that I keep trying to deal with this without medication, and every single time, I inevitably fall victim to the depression monster and if I can save someone from this trouble, that would be great. The bottom line is that some of us have a crazy chemical ****storm in our heads, and medication is an absolute necessity if we are to have any hope of the semblance of a normal life.

There is no shame in taking medication, is all I'm saying. Whatever your thoughts on the matter (dear reader - I'm sure you are eminently sensible and empathic regarding all this), there is a very strong social and societal frowning-upon when it comes to these drugs. They are indeed over-prescribed and in many respects are not to be trifled with, but if they are needed, goddamn are they a miracle.

To those who don't understand this, rejoice. To never know the skewing of reality brought about by clinical depression is something not to be taken lightly.

In any event, my life is still objectively a bit of a mess, but at least I can take stock and improve it, without wanting to kill myself all the time now.

Happy to hear you're feeling better copa /sends hugs.

Take the meds if they help, who are we to judge.
 
So, as EX_mrs_ant_man says: 'Don't **** with depression'.

I started the year with what amounted to a small-scale nervous breakdown. Nothing dramatic externally, but I was barely coping with day to day tasks and the thought of suicide was persistently gnawing at me.

Long story short, after much ruminating about medication I was willing to take and some adventures with a clueless (but well-meaning) GP that has included a 3-week slide into the beginnings of a Lorazepam habit, I am currently taking 30 mgs of Mirtazapine, an often overlooked medication in favour of the SSRIs (which I am not willing to use, the primary reasons being that they run a significant risk of breaking your dick completely and also made me almost completely emotionally numb), that turns out to be a pretty efficient antidepressant provided you can avoid the ravenous cravings it engenders (this is no joke) and the subsequent enfattening this will cause. Along with this, I was advised by a psychiatrist to try 50 mgs of Sulpiride (an atypical antipsychotic - sounds scary, right?) twice per day when necessary (to deal with anxiety). I'm ambivalent on this one at this stage - It's hard to tell if it's doing anything to be honest.

In any event, I'm just laying this bare for the simple reason that I keep trying to deal with this without medication, and every single time, I inevitably fall victim to the depression monster and if I can save someone from this trouble, that would be great. The bottom line is that some of us have a crazy chemical ****storm in our heads, and medication is an absolute necessity if we are to have any hope of the semblance of a normal life.

There is no shame in taking medication, is all I'm saying. Whatever your thoughts on the matter (dear reader - I'm sure you are eminently sensible and empathic regarding all this), there is a very strong social and societal frowning-upon when it comes to these drugs. They are indeed over-prescribed and in many respects are not to be trifled with, but if they are needed, goddamn are they a miracle.

To those who don't understand this, rejoice. To never know the skewing of reality brought about by clinical depression is something not to be taken lightly.

In any event, my life is still objectively a bit of a mess, but at least I can take stock and improve it, without wanting to kill myself all the time now.
I'm glad you saw a psychiatrist and got the right meds.
Everyone is diagnosed with depression, depression....I was told by a psychologist that I had depression as well as PTSD. Half an hour with a psychiatrist, I was diagnosed correctly . I couldn't give one damn who knows I'm on meds and what my disorder is.
When I went into the clinic for 2 weeks - I told nobody because I was ashamed and felt like a failure - best 2 weeks of my life and now I tell people, with pride.

Keep going Copa ....my motto is "onwards and upwards"!
 
Get help. Don't associate with people who make ou negative. Surround yourself with peopel who will support you. Listen to more joyful music than depressive rock music. Find the cause or problem thats eating awway at your mental health.
 
Get help. Don't associate with people who make ou negative. Surround yourself with peopel who will support you. Listen to more joyful music than depressive rock music. Find the cause or problem thats eating awway at your mental health.

This exactly
 
Some stuff about depression & inflammation:

[video=youtube;fqyjVoZ4XYg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqyjVoZ4XYg[/video]

Quite a lengthy document but there's some cool info regarding inflammation/depression - diet, exercise, microbiome, supplements (EPA) etc:
http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/appi.ajp.2015.15020152

And then just to follow the inflammation thread down a particular path, a substance called sulforaphane has shown increasing promise for reducing certain types of inflammation.
https://selfhacked.com/2015/01/13/panacea-benefits-broccoli-sprouts-sulforaphane/
https://journal-inflammation.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12950-015-0051-x

Might be a good time to incorporate some brocolli sprouts into the diet. They're super easy to grow & are available locally.
 
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