Feeling like a failure?

Thor187 said:
Won't call him a "failure", but I completely understand what you mean
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I am just using his exact words.
If he feels he is a failure, then he is.
Plain and simple.

If you can't find any worth in your life then why would you ask someone else to do it for you?
That in my opinion is a bigger fail.
 
Electric said:
I am just using his exact words.
If he feels he is a failure, then he is.
Plain and simple.

If you can't find any worth in your life then why would you ask someone else to do it for you?
That in my opinion is a bigger fail.
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Well if you put it like that... Yea then I'll have to agree
 
Swa said:
R32k and you're depressed. Sorry but the people in here kinda sound right. For that amount you can live a quite comfortable life. You are earning more than 90% of people here and more than most people in your same position. If you are not happy with that you have set your goals too high. Stop looking at what your friends are earning. The mere fact you're doing that means you are comparing yourself to them. It's not your situation that determines your happyness but how you feel about it. If you can't make ends meet you are doing something wrong or raked up huge debt.

@Stefanmuller. What? You don't call those things extravagant? You can get by without the day care. People should start taking care of their own kids like it used to be. Do your own work instead of employing a domestic. You don't need a new phone every two years. I used mine for about 8 years before getting a new one and I'm still using both. I can get a new car for less than your second hand ones. Clothes can be bought cash if and when you need them though some stores give nice discounts for opening an account. Don't treat it as an account though.
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I believe the point Stefan is trying to make is what must we have to do to have a better life than just getting by. Family of 3 with both parents with degrees working and still no over the top luxuries. The lifestyle he achieves, should have been achieved by one parent working yet he can only get that by both working.
 
Swa said:
The question is why do you need to afford it all? If your point was that a person needs to be able to afford all these to be happy then yes. But you can still be happy with a lot less than that. No need to have the latest and greatest cellphone every two years. No need for new clothes every year when your old ones probably still fit and are fine. You listed cars that are anything but basic if their second hand price is more than that of entry level new cars. Kia, Hyundai and Tata all have cheaper options that don't carry the name of the person that invented the car, because that's what you are essentially paying for with these big names.
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While I get where you are coming from, people are allowed to aspire to more than live a breadline+ life. You can't not buy new clothes in some professions. I go through an entire shirt wardrobe every year because of color fade, which in turn makes me look less professional

I can tell you up front driving a Tata would make me extremely sad and frustrated
 
Electric said:
I am just using his exact words.
If he feels he is a failure, then he is.
Plain and simple.

If you can't find any worth in your life then why would you ask someone else to do it for you?
That in my opinion is a bigger fail.
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Bang! You've really nailed it.
 
Arthur said:
Some direct speech. What you earn, what car you drive, where you live, what you own, etc have just about zilch to do with being a success or failure. Those are external variables that you rightly intuit have as much to do with happenstance as they do with your effort, or lack of it. If you were born near the banks of the Ganges your circumstances might well be rather different. So, external things are largely irrelevant to being a success. Our hearts are made for love, and without it we wither and die.

Which other person (not what) do you love most in the world, even more than your own life?
Do you show it? Express it?
Are you prepared to die for another person? For what is right and good?
Do you give of your substance and not just your excess to others less fortunate than you?

You're 32 years old. Well into adulthood. If you can't unhesitatingly answer these sorts of basic questions for yourself (not here) then your feeling a failure is absolutely the correct feeling to have. Feeling successful without the basic orientation and purpose suggested by these questions (or more specifically their answers) is a form of insanity.
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Well said.
All the other posters with the aggressive negative posts, why did you even post?
 
I'll be 34 this year. I don't earn anything close to what you are earning. There are lots of things I cannot afford. But I have learned to live with it. No use crying over it, unless you want too feel miserable all the time.
 
What has happened to CDp. All this advice and no response? :/ come on Op, give us an update on what you feeling /thinking
 
poffle said:
What has happened to CDp. All this advice and no response? :/ come on Op, give us an update on what you feeling /thinking
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I guess he feels even more depressed now with all the responses/advices/f*** off, he got on here.
I once said to myself "Stop complaining, and make the best of what you have". Since that day, I must admit, I don't feel that much frustrated anymore...
 
I've given it some more thought.

I'm well paid for my age, I'll admit that. But I still feel like a failure sometimes.

Why? Not because of the money I earn. I feel like a failure because with my gifts, I feel like I could have done a lot more with my life. Sure, I'm working towards it now, but it has taken me this long to get there.

I regret not working harder. I was one of those who sailed through university without lifting a finger. Didn't fail a single course and easily got over 60 for nearly everything I did. Even for the hardest subject that I took in honours year, I studied the night before. When I say studied, I mean read over my notes. Half of them. I got the second highest in the class, which was a mid 60's mark.

Somehow, I've got to the point where I make a decent amount of money for my age. But I still feel like, given my talents, I should have shot the lights out by now. And I might have, if I selected a better career and worked harder. I always regret not working harder than I do, it is the one thing I constantly feel guilty about.

I'm changing that, but it doesn't change the past. No use worrying about that now I guess.
 
Wall said:
lol, coming from a PMB person, I take what you say with a pinch of salt.

OT:Why are PMB indian guys so ' different' ? I've never met a normal indian pmb guy.
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Lol. I'll be the first to admit I'm eccentric as hell and yes, I'm Indian and come from PMB. Got the hell out of there though. Way too boring.
 
Ancalagon said:
I've given it some more thought.

I'm well paid for my age, I'll admit that. But I still feel like a failure sometimes.

Why? Not because of the money I earn. I feel like a failure because with my gifts, I feel like I could have done a lot more with my life. Sure, I'm working towards it now, but it has taken me this long to get there.

I regret not working harder. I was one of those who sailed through university without lifting a finger. Didn't fail a single course and easily got over 60 for nearly everything I did. Even for the hardest subject that I took in honours year, I studied the night before. When I say studied, I mean read over my notes. Half of them. I got the second highest in the class, which was a mid 60's mark.

Somehow, I've got to the point where I make a decent amount of money for my age. But I still feel like, given my talents, I should have shot the lights out by now. And I might have, if I selected a better career and worked harder. I always regret not working harder than I do, it is the one thing I constantly feel guilty about.

I'm changing that, but it doesn't change the past. No use worrying about that now I guess.
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I think I feel a little bit like you do, except I actually did work hard. I don't have a major issue with my job really and the money is decent enough for what I do but it feels like I shouldn't just be satisfied with doing something so stupid. I'm studying further so that I can actually get the job I've always wanted and circumstances are causing me to have to stick around with my current job for a bit longer. I'm actually embarrassed about what I do, considering the marks I got in school and how hard I worked at university.

It feels like I'm taking forever to actually get where I want to be and sometimes regret studying what I did but deep down I know it is what I was meant to do.

Its worse at the moment cause my SO is doing well for himself and well on his way to getting the job he's always wanted and earning more than me, and I wonder sometimes why he actually still sticks around with me if I see myself as a bit of a failure. Ag well what can I do except continue working hard
 
googoodoll said:
I think I feel a little bit like you do, except I actually did work hard. I don't have a major issue with my job really and the money is decent enough for what I do but it feels like I shouldn't just be satisfied with doing something so stupid. I'm studying further so that I can actually get the job I've always wanted and circumstances are causing me to have to stick around with my current job for a bit longer. I'm actually embarrassed about what I do, considering the marks I got in school and how hard I worked at university.

It feels like I'm taking forever to actually get where I want to be and sometimes regret studying what I did but deep down I know it is what I was meant to do.

Its worse at the moment cause my SO is doing well for himself and well on his way to getting the job he's always wanted and earning more than me, and I wonder sometimes why he actually still sticks around with me if I see myself as a bit of a failure. Ag well what can I do except continue working hard
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Don't feel bad, feel happy for him, and use it as inspiration for your own goals.
 
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