Marriage/Relationship Advice

FlippyCake said:
Ladies and Gents,

TL;DR. Married, don't find my wife attractive anymore, she asked for divorce out of the blue, we worked on things, marriage back on track to a point, enter a soul mate :crying:

Will try reply as much as I can between my work day.
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Haven't read the full thread but just from the first couple pages, here are some observations:

1) you say you are no longer physically attracted to your wife and have told her so, yet you wonder why the intimacy is not there anymore... Maybe she's taken the hint and decided to stop trying...
2) you said your wife is younger than you - you didn't mention ages, but if you met in your 20s, then that might explain why she changed. Your 20s are about figuring out who you are and what you like. The changes may not be because of another man, just growth and learning herself.
3) the new girl is also (even more) younger, so you might just be repeating the same process with her.
 
t_girl said:
Haven't read the full thread but just from the first couple pages, here are some observations:

1) you say you are no longer physically attracted to your wife and have told her so, yet you wonder why the intimacy is not there anymore... Maybe she's taken the hint and decided to stop trying...
2) you said your wife is younger than you - you didn't mention ages, but if you met in your 20s, then that might explain why she changed. Your 20s are about figuring out who you are and what you like. The changes may not be because of another man, just growth and learning herself.
3) the new girl is also (even more) younger, so you might just be repeating the same process with her.
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I get you on point 1 and do blame myself.

As far as the ages thing go, yes this can be right. New chick is 24....so I hear you loud and clear.
 
OP, learn to cook & bake and leave delicious calorie-rich treats lying around the house. Your wife will go from muscular to muffin-top in a month.
 
3WA said:
OP, learn to cook & bake and leave delicious calorie-rich treats lying around the house. Your wife will go from muscular to muffin-top in a month.
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:laugh::laugh::laugh:

If only it was that easy, she does not touch any snacks anymore and when she does its all high protein bars and the likes.

I do all the cooking in any case and she currently eats more than I do and I run a lot.
 
FlippyCake said:
Like I say I use the word "soul mate" because I cant describe what I feel when I am around this other woman. Have never felt such electricity rush through me
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Maybe you
ReeceDBN031 said:
WOOOW.. this is a toughy.. the thing is... you did make a decision to marry this chick.. remember woman are very hard to understand and to figure out.. maybe she feels you don't want her the same as you used to? maybe she is doing this for you?

I don't know perhaps there is someone else? check her phone.. best place to start
go into file manager
Whatsapp
sent pics

Maybe there is evidence of someone and your hunch could be correct?
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Dude, if you have to snoop on your partners phone the relationship is already dead.

Might aswell pull the trigger.

And his wife sounds intelligent. She probably has a fingerprint or pin code setup.
 
There's always someone else. Even the OP admits to having a stukkie on the side. Yeah, yeah, it's all lunches and coffees at the moment...
 
Cifero said:
From personal experience, my Ex also out of the blue "I want a divorce", I did not see that coming as I thought we were a happy couple. Married for 6yrs, together 11 yrs. She also vehemently denied having an affair, her routine changed (always working late), dressing up, have to go to office to finish reports on a Saturday/Sunday, late business lunches. Ex was also a gym bunny (5-6 x a week), went with her 80% of the time, but also, nothing untoward there.
Sex was 4-5x a week, in the end, was once a month.

Turns out, there was another guy.

So don't take her word to heart. Women are very convincing. Hind sight is a B..ch. If she's moved on, her minds made up, there is nothing you do or say that will bring her back. Thought men were the tough ones....Best is to call it a day, deal with the flood of emotions that is surely to come, lick your wounds (easier said than done), re-collect yourself, spend time alone to regain your life.

As for the younger lady, she is a rebound. Being 12 yrs younger will have its cons (mine was 10yrs younger). Different interests, viewpoints, memories, experiences. This is a temporary thing. If you can use this as a distraction, do it when you are divorced. Keep your slate clean, knowing, 10-30 yrs down the line, you didn't do anything wrong, and have a clear conscience.
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Wow, so similar.....

To be honest this younger chick has brought way more confusion to the mix then there has been since the marriage was stabilised. There were still doubts from my side everyday and the changes were there, then in pops this chick and just makes everything so much worse.
 
chefdude98 said:
Maybe you

Dude, if you have to snoop on your partners phone the relationship is already dead.

Might aswell pull the trigger.

And his wife sounds intelligent. She probably has a fingerprint or pin code setup.
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I wasn't trying to snoop I just asked her outright to prove there was not another guy which she refused, and yeah finger print and face lock.
 
FlippyCake said:
I only cook because she cannot cook to save her life hahahaha, she has even screwed up boiled eggs :laugh:
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This is why you test drive before buying.

And now you want to pomp and marry another one because she's great over coffee. Instead of inviting her over to cook and then deciding...
 
Does she use her phone/laptop often, with her facing you so you cant see the screen?
 
Mike Hoxbig said:
This is why you test drive before buying.

And now you want to pomp and marry another one because she's great over coffee. Instead of inviting her over to cook and then deciding...
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Yip, looks fade but a man always get hungry again. Same with brains, at some stage the sex dries up and then you must be able to hold a conversation.
 
FlippyCake said:
If I wanted to feel muscles up and down a woman's body I would have married a gym junkie, I cannot tell you what its like to have sex and run my hands up her back to feel muscles, to hold her arms and feel muscles...…..its a turn off for me.....big time!
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100% she's got someone else. If she got to the point of telling you its over, and this huge transformation. It's certain
 
Mike Hoxbig said:
There's the problem. You've become the woman in the relationship, and she's going to gym to become the man...
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becky-lynch-the-man-758x426.jpg
 
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