question about friendship

Status
Not open for further replies.
What killa's mate did sucked bigtime but it was his choice.
What killa did also sucked but it was also a choice and I think he has learnt a valuable lesson.
Life is all about choices and once you act on a choice you can't go back on it.

Just one question though. To all who feel killa did the right thing by telling his g/f. We are regularly faced with situations where we realise someone we know is having an affair/sleeping around/cheating etc (whether it's with a hooker or not it's still risky behavior). How many of us run around telling the person's partner in order to "save" them? Lemme guess. None!

NB. Using the "but this was a friend" argument will not work because if your morals are so high then they should apply to everyone. Not just someone you know personally.
 
Debbie2 said:
Then what of killa's word to his fiancee? Is the trust between killa and his fiancee subservient to the trust between killa and his friend? That's a recipe for divorce!

killa, you did the right thing. your buddy put you in a position that jeopardised YOUR engagement and YOUR relationship with your fiancee. He broke the trust first.... tell him to go jump in a lake.

And to everyone who thinks it is okay to sleep with whores behind your gf's back and expect your buddies to keep your dirty secrets, at risk to their own relationships, you are not a true friend. What goes around, comes around.
Click to expand...

QFT.
 
ShaunSA said:
all who feel killa did the right thing by telling his g/f. We are regularly faced with situations where we realise someone we know is having an affair/sleeping around/cheating etc (whether it's with a hooker or not it's still risky behavior). How many of us run around telling the person's partner in order to "save" them? Lemme guess. None!
Click to expand...

None? bs. There are plenty of morally intact men around.

Perhaps in your world that sort of behaviour and the prioritisation of male friendships over the vows of marriage/similar partnership is acceptable and expected. We have a word for that, it's called chauvinism.

The only thing killa had to "save" was his own relationship with his fiancee. You're advocating that his friendship with his whoring-around buddy was more important.
 
Last edited:
Syndyre said:
What if you agreed to keep quiet about something that was seemingly meaningless at the time but you later found out was related to e.g. a rape? Would you not break your word for anything?
Click to expand...

Exactly

Freshy-ZN said:
So now you are know around town as a person that cant be trusted and he as a guy who cheats on his gf with whores. What a situation..........
Click to expand...

Can't be trusted by people who sleep with prostitutes. People know he'll stand up for what's right ie: The innocent person being abused and not his cheating scum 'friend'. I'm sure he can live with that. :)
 
Debbie2 said:
None? bs. There are plenty of morally intact men around.

Perhaps in your world that sort of behaviour and the prioritisation of male friendships over the vows of marriage/similar partnership is acceptable and expected. We have a word for that, it's called chauvinism.

The only thing killa had to "save" was his own relationship with his fiancee. You're advocating that his friendship with his whoring-around buddy was more important.
Click to expand...
Hypothetically speaking . . .

Had Killa prefaced his disclosure to his fiancee with a "dont tell <insert whore-mongering friend's g/f name here> and she did would that be an acceptable violation of trust?
 
ShaunSA said:
Just one question though. To all who feel killa did the right thing by telling his g/f. We are regularly faced with situations where we realise someone we know is having an affair/sleeping around/cheating etc (whether it's with a hooker or not it's still risky behavior). How many of us run around telling the person's partner in order to "save" them? Lemme guess. None!
Click to expand...
Actually, I haven't been in this situation "regularly", but a couple of years ago was in a similar situation to killa's except that one of my friends was cheating on another of my friends. I told her. I lost a friend for a while, but I'm sure it was the right thing to do - and we're friends again now.

ShaunSA said:
NB. Using the "but this was a friend" argument will not work because if your morals are so high then they should apply to everyone. Not just someone you know personally.
Click to expand...
If I don't know someone personally, I'm unlikely (nor do I want) to know about their sexual activities. In fact, come to think of it, I not really interested in anyone's sexual activities apart from my own. :D
 
Debbie I was not specifically refering to men but to everyone. Let me rephrase my question. If you had a male work colleague. And you found out by chance that his wife/gf/partner was fooling around with someone else. Would you tell him? Bear in mind that he is only a colleague and not someone you actually "know" as in a friend/close friend. My bet is that you would mind your own business.

Yes I understand that killa did what he did to "save" his relationship and to be honest it's exactly what I would have done. But let's not make like it's some sort of moral high-ground. He was just covering his @rse and made the choice that let him do that.
 
bwana said:
Hypothetically speaking . . .

Had Killa prefaced his disclosure to his fiancee with a "dont tell <insert whore-mongering friend's g/f name here> and she did would that be an acceptable violation of trust?
Click to expand...

I'm inclined to say yes to that, but I'm of the school that your partner should know everything that happens in your life (I may be wrong about that).

Problem is that your partner is then faced with the dilema of knowing something that is important to her friends happiness and not being able to tell her.

I think killa's friend was wrong to involve him in his dodgy doings in the first place.
 
Debbie2 said:
Then what of killa's word to his fiancee? Is the trust between killa and his fiancee subservient to the trust between killa and his friend? That's a recipe for divorce!
Click to expand...

Killa abused the trust between himself and his gf. He told her because he knew she would tell the other chic, he has admitted to this.
 
@ alan85 - your argument is so scatterbrained it is impossible to follow. What is clear though is that you are untrustworthy. Your word is as frivolous as your logic.

@Debbie2 - You're not getting the point, Killa could have kept his word to everyone. All he had to do is be honest with his friend when his friend asked him not to tell anybody. He could have said "NO"! It would have taken courage to be honest with his friend, but Killa chose to go another way.

Priests who do confessions are a good example of people who value their word. The murderer of judge Giovanni Falcone confessed his crime to a priest. The priest never told anyone who the confessor was. This was an issue of national importance in Italy, the mafia had attacked the state - this is not about some petty cheating boyfriend. Imagine the burden this priest has had to bear, but still he honoured his word and the word of the church. Now imagine alan85 was a priest, he would destroy 2000 years in two weeks.
 
catweasel said:
Killa abused the trust between himself and his gf. He told her because he knew she would tell the other chic, he has admitted to this.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure how that qualifies as an abuse of trust.
 
look im not taking the moral high ground

i am by no means a moral man and dont profess to be one

was just wondering if i did the right thing or the wrong thing

moral's are one thing, destroying my relationship with someone i think is my soul mate is another thing

also i understand about my word and not having kept it but i think surely there must be a line when honoring your word and by doing what he did he leaped right over that line and put in a very bad position

what kind of friend is he to put in that position is my first thought
my second thought is someone who does this sort of thing should not be mad with me for breaking my word as he is not exactly the glimmer of an honorable man

i would like to think that if my chick was screwing around on me my friends would tell me, i personally dont think this whole its not my business is alot of crap

if you are friends with someone and know their partner is cheating you should tell them

look at the end of the day in terms of friendship and my word i FAIL badly on this

in terms of friendship i think he fails badly by putting me in the position, so at the end of the day i see why he will be mad and agro but i feel he should see why i did what i did and will hopefully learn that no matter how good or close you think a friendship is, there is just some things u dont do in front of your friends

yes i should have been more of man and said no i wont say anything, thats my fault and very stupid of me

i didnt abuse the trust of my g/f, i told knowing she would either tell her friend or not i left it up to her to make the call

an abuse of trust would have been not telling her and she finds out 3 months down the line and thinks that i also did a hooker
 
Last edited:
Nick333 said:
I'm not sure how that qualifies as an abuse of trust.
Click to expand...

He used her, he couldnt tell the other chic himself, so he told his chic knowing full out she would spill the beans!
 
catweasel said:
He used her, he couldnt tell the other chic himself, so he told his chic knowing full out she would spill the beans!
Click to expand...

Well I'm sure killa is expected to do his share of the chores.
 
However we look at this no-one comes out looking pretty :D

@killa. I would have done the same in your shoes so let's hope we can all take a lesson out of your experience and say No to the ho(house) :D
 
sabagamma said:
@ alan85 - your argument is so scatterbrained it is impossible to follow. What is clear though is that you are untrustworthy. Your word is as frivolous as your logic.
Click to expand...


All I've said is exactly what many people here have. I've shown how foolhardy your 'my word no matter what' mentality can be. You avoid those scenarios because you've got yourself in a pickle. But hey each to their own. Perhaps you took to mush drugs or were even born that way but thank god I don't know you personally.
 
sabagamma said:
@ alan85 - your argument is so scatterbrained it is impossible to follow. What is clear though is that you are untrustworthy. Your word is as frivolous as your logic.

@Debbie2 - You're not getting the point, Killa could have kept his word to everyone. All he had to do is be honest with his friend when his friend asked him not to tell anybody. He could have said "NO"! It would have taken courage to be honest with his friend, but Killa chose to go another way.

Priests who do confessions are a good example of people who value their word. The murderer of judge Giovanni Falcone confessed his crime to a priest. The priest never told anyone who the confessor was. This was an issue of national importance in Italy, the mafia had attacked the state - this is not about some petty cheating boyfriend. Imagine the burden this priest has had to bear, but still he honoured his word and the word of the church. Now imagine alan85 was a priest, he would destroy 2000 years in two weeks.
Click to expand...

Since I find myself in uncharacteristic agreement with my fellow alpha-numerics on this I may as well come to their defense.

Your example of the priest is a case of the good of society for the sake of a monsters right to unburden his black little soul. Screw the mafia and catholic tradition they have both done untold damage to humanity.

To extend the analogy to killa's predicament, his ******* friend shouldn't have put him in a moral dilema in the first place. He was behaving imorally so why should killa be held to a higher moral standard?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X