Strange behaviour...

Lament said:
Speaking out of personal experience, i was in a long relationship where i got hurt in a very bad way, its 15 months later an i'm still not over what happened, it scares me when i get to close to someone and i run, that and the fact that I'm used to a certain lifestyle the last 15 months....change scares me to death.
So i have flings, and as soon as it gets to serious i look for reasons to run away.
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I've just always been like that. Took a chance, against my flight instinct, with one guy and we've been together for the past hundred years :D But I run away even if its girls who become good friends.

OP ask the girl straight what her issue is.
Girls are more dense than what they are confusing....
 
googoodoll said:
I've just always been like that. Took a chance, against my flight instinct, with one guy and we've been together for the past hundred years :D But I run away even if its girls who become good friends.

OP ask the girl straight what her issue is.
Girls are more dense than what they are confusing....
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This. Out of the mouths of babes... (Ouch, ouch, stop hitting me - I meant the saying)

My wife had no idea that I wanted to be more than friends until I leaned over and kissed her. And that was after numerous long phone conversations, a day in the mountains, dinners and lots of coffee at her place. I mean - did I have to draw a diagram or something?
 
Haven't read through the entire thread but this is indeed normal behaviour, she's probably juggling options. As soon as that sh#t starts up I am gone. If she plays disappearing games now it will carry on later in the relationship.
 
Compton_effect said:
This. Out of the mouths of babes... (Ouch, ouch, stop hitting me - I meant the saying)

My wife had no idea that I wanted to be more than friends until I leaned over and kissed her. And that was after numerous long phone conversations, a day in the mountains, dinners and lots of coffee at her place. I mean - did I have to draw a diagram or something?
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Hehe, I'll see how it goes. Will ask her next time I see her. In a completely innocent way (that I will think of in a moment :D).
 
DrewChan said:
Haven't read through the entire thread but this is indeed normal behaviour, she's probably juggling options. As soon as that sh#t starts up I am gone. If she plays disappearing games now it will carry on later in the relationship.
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Mmm I actually thought about this when it started, then realised if she goes for any of the other guys she knows (that I know of), she's kinda screwing herself over...:whistle:
 
Somethings you realize after a situation like this..
1. Critically evaluate who initiates contact or meeting.

Pretty much all u have to do really. If you have made all the initiating then pretty clear she ain't interested. Another point is the whole handshake, hug thing.. you mentioned numerous outings i think(>2) but didnt see you mention something more. I see your location is Pretoria.. One thing I've realized is that girls here move a LOT faster compared to where im from in Cpt so it could be that she things you just wanna be her friend or something.. key thing.. maybe you moving too slow.

my 2c, next one move faster
 
Shaun108 said:
Psh, here's what you do OP:

Call her and say "I got a hard-on, how fast can you be here?"



It's a 50/50 chance. Either you win or you lose. Man up and make that call now!
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:D

Some sound advice OP, unless you're looking for something more meaningful... if that's the case you're in for a ride.
 
nicbst said:
Then the weekend before last, we drove around a bit and generally had a good time. Departed with hugs ('upgraded' from a handshake the previous time), so I was thinking: "hey! This is going well!"
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:D

nicbst said:
What...just happened? I thought I had a slight understanding of women and generally do, but she takes the cake. :wtf:

Oh and on Wednesday she also moved the date of the plans we made for this weekend. She has a cold at the moment, which explains the move. The ignoring of most all contact could also have been it maybe, if she wasn't online on Whatsapp every 5 minutes...:confused:

In person she is the most perfect companion...talkative, but not too much, and classy, and everything a guy could want. But soon as she has to use a phone....I don't know. :erm:
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There are 2 likely possibilities here:
1) She's not that into you. Girls don't just straight up say "Hey guy, I enjoyed the hangouts but I don't really see anything happening between us". Nope, girls will rather play this game where at some point they think you will get the hint.
2) She probably was sick and couldn't come out, the only reason why I say this is because she rescheduled for another day. If she just "maybe another day" then I would have said she's not interested but since she made the effort to reschedule its 50-50.

Also, for the messaging. Don't spend your time fixated on this. Messaging is likely what kills good rapport. Just use messaging to setup dates and light conversation. Why is spending so much time messaging a bad thing, because you kill most of your conversation when it comes to the date e.g. "Oh, remember that interesting story I told you WhatsApp" when it can be "I have this amazing story which happened to me the other day."
 
DrewChan said:
Haven't read through the entire thread but this is indeed normal behaviour, she's probably juggling options. As soon as that sh#t starts up I am gone. If she plays disappearing games now it will carry on later in the relationship.
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Forever alone Drew :cry:
 
Del Piero 10 said:
:D

Some sound advice OP, unless you're looking for something more meaningful... if that's the case you're in for a ride.
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Yip one way to correct the go slow + find out if there is interest haha

Also, for the messaging. Don't spend your time fixated on this. Messaging is likely what kills good rapport. Just use messaging to setup dates and light conversation. Why is spending so much time messaging a bad thing, because you kill most of your conversation when it comes to the date e.g. "Oh, remember that interesting story I told you WhatsApp" when it can be "I have this amazing story which happened to me the other day."
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Some good advice there..
 
krycor said:
Yip one way to correct the go slow + find out if there is interest haha
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Even better if there isn't any family or family friends in the picture. You don't want the rejection filtering via broken telephone.:p

genetic said:
Maybe she's seeing someone else, then goes off the radar when she does.
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Most definitely. If OP thinks she's beautiful, there's at least a dozen creeps in the queue.
 
Okay, now I have read the whole thread thoroughly it seems you are more infatuated then she is.
This can become a problem which can leading up to to oneitis .
So she's going to camp this weekend, what are your plans? You probably on going out with this weekend, right.
What you need to do is go out and have fun (whether its with mates or alone), you might meet some other girls while at it.
Don't just sit at home waiting for her to message you, she likely wont.

nicbst said:
Hehe, I'll see how it goes. Will ask her next time I see her. In a completely innocent way (that I will think of in a moment :D).
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Wait, you have to kiss her? This is the main issue. How does she know you're really interested in her that.
You have to show her your intentions next time.
 
tsume said:
which can leading up to to oneitis .
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There is a word for everything! And yes, I do think she's one in a few, considering her background and the other qualities that are important to me. So yea...

I would love to go out and all, but I'm trapped at home due to some blasted virus :erm: Got an invite to go out on Friday with colleagues. If I feel well enough I'll end up going.

tsume said:
Wait, you have to kiss her? This is the main issue. How does she know you're really interested in her that.
You have to show her your intentions next time.
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Mmm will do. And hope and pray it doesn't blow up in my face. :D Usually I want to be sure she's really into me before going there.
 
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