Depression.

One humble piece of advice my end as someone who was in the "unemployment sector" for a while.

Keep the mind sharp, always be improving & challenge yourself.

You pick up new concepts & workflows quick quick like in my new role. Confidence & projection etc

Find what that entails for you.
 
Im struggling to sleep because of my depro now it is what it is
Try this, it's expensive but helps me. Sold at Clicks, Dischem etc.

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One humble piece of advice my end as someone who was in the "unemployment sector" for a while.

Keep the mind sharp, always be improving & challenge yourself.

You pick up new concepts & workflows quick quick like in my new role. Confidence & projection etc

Find what that entails for you.
Hence why I keep my Microsoft exams going.

Just did my house's fibre as a thing to see how it works. Just not splicing as the machine is a bit expensive.
 
One humble piece of advice my end as someone who was in the "unemployment sector" for a while.

Keep the mind sharp, always be improving & challenge yourself.

You pick up new concepts & workflows quick quick like in my new role. Confidence & projection etc

Find what that entails for you.
I wish it was that easy for me.

Currently I consider myself to have no future, and no matter what I do doesn't seem to be of any value to anyone.
 
Dr told me the metal wire sticking out can stab me. I told him hopefully it kills me lol and not leave me suffering.
I once told a doctor the reason I struggle to sleep at night is sometimes I turn on my back.

And he said why does that stop you sleeping?

So I said because then all the knives my friends put in my back become uncomfortable.
 
I know a lot of folks do but its a worry to me that people are effectively turning to some form of substance abuse to cope.

Any crutch you use more than a temporary coping mechanism to get you through a tough spot will become a problem at some point.

My watch's sleep report also says I didn't have the proper sleep cycles if I do the gummy thing even though I think I was out cold so it does affect rest at least in my case.

I will say it does work for me to just shut my mind down for a bit its kinda like restarting a PC and an opportunity to start from a clearer place.
 
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Stupid @Kosmik calling me old as well. But yeah, I reckon at our age life's knocks and it's responsibilities have the potential to all add up and kick you in the shin.

I've always followed this thread, knowing that there are cycles in my life where I've had to deal with my depression. That, in turn, gives one empathy for those dealing with it.

Mine flared up last year after an eight year hiatus. Been going through counselling and actually started studying counselling out of interest for myself. Started Escitalopram two months ago - don't know why I waited so long before starting an antidepressant. Also had problems sleeping and was prescribed Atarax. It's really helped me and I sleep through.

To those who are dealing with stuff right now, I do hope you manage to find what works for you. It's often an ongoing mission, but not one that should leave you feeling defeated.

If only I could do something about my bodily aches and pains that also seem to become more pronounced with age.
 
If I'd had to comment any further on what's happening to me I'd unpack heavily here, and I don't want to do that, for a number of reasons, the primary one being that there's unhinged people on this forum that use this sort of thing as ammunition later. Also, it came as a surprise to me that I am now unemployable, nobody is interested in you unless you have a degree. A diploma or NTC from back in the day is now simply no good. A decade ago I had frequent interest from recruiters. Now I am fukking stuck...

The absolute irony of it all is, I work with these degreed little schitts from Stellenbosch. They can't solder, they can't do fukkall, their work is slapgat in the extreme, but I am pushed literally into a corner doing handbooks and other admin kak, because they have convinced management I cannot be trusted to design products due to the N6 != BSc

I don't have the means to start a company and do my own thing, although it might be my only option. Why not? Because South African people have become just like Yanks- don't want to pay for anything, want stuff for free, and want to complain to the manager about every damn thing. Also, this government makes it as difficult as possible to get ANYTHING off the ground. I don't have help If I did then maybe...

In common with many comedians, I try and be funny because it's a crutch for now, at least some people laugh at my funny AI-generated images poking fun at Chinesium.
 
If only I could do something about my bodily aches and pains that also seem to become more pronounced with age.
The answer I have for that depends on the cause. In my case it's extremely high levels of stress (aka eating schitt at work year in year out and having to work alongside horrible people)

I go for sports massages- it works. For back issues I see the chiropractor. The remainder is my body protesting the Western Cape climate, and for that the doctor gives me an injection at season-change. It helps a tremendous amount. I can walk far, I can do things.
 
If I'd had to comment any further on what's happening to me I'd unpack heavily here, and I don't want to do that, for a number of reasons, the primary one being that there's unhinged people on this forum that use this sort of thing as ammunition later. Also, it came as a surprise to me that I am now unemployable, nobody is interested in you unless you have a degree. A diploma or NTC from back in the day is now simply no good. A decade ago I had frequent interest from recruiters. Now I am fukking stuck...

The absolute irony of it all is, I work with these degreed little schitts from Stellenbosch. They can't solder, they can't do fukkall, their work is slapgat in the extreme, but I am pushed literally into a corner doing handbooks and other admin kak, because they have convinced management I cannot be trusted to design products due to the N6 != BSc

I don't have the means to start a company and do my own thing, although it might be my only option. Why not? Because South African people have become just like Yanks- don't want to pay for anything, want stuff for free, and want to complain to the manager about every damn thing. Also, this government makes it as difficult as possible to get ANYTHING off the ground. I don't have help If I did then maybe...

In common with many comedians, I try and be funny because it's a crutch for now, at least some people laugh at my funny AI-generated images poking fun at Chinesium.

Im starting to get on the older side and I've started to notice a lot more of my seniors getting passed by or actively being avoided. I always used to think its overblown but its definitely a thing.
It seems like by the time you hit 50 you either need to have worked yourself into an irreplaceable position where the new crowd can no longer support the tech or you need to be high enough on the ladder to be seen as a fit for your age.
 
You wanna what I really, really find depressing?

This dropped in my feed few mins ago. I member all these songs vividly af! Crystal clear, they're over a 1/4 of a century old!

100 Hits of 2000


What have I/you achieved in that time? How much time do you have on this earth?

In the space of 3 years & a bit I lost my Mother & then my Grandmother (last month) 😥

Thankfully my Dad's health is good.

Time waits for no man/person.
 
I don't have the means to start a company and do my own thing, although it might be my only option. Why not? Because South African people have become just like Yanks- don't want to pay for anything, want stuff for free, and want to complain to the manager about every damn thing.
so now . . think a little outside the box - and your current vocation.

what do you enjoy doing ?
what are you good at
(these may well be different things entirely)

write these things down separately - take your time, a week or so, as you think of things, dont try scribble all down at once.
then after a week or so, try match up what you enjoy doing - and what you are good at.
when you do get to figure that out, you will have something you enjoy doing, and do well - and by default, the end product will be something of high standard - given your passion for it.
there is always a ready & willing market for products / service of a high standard.

experiment a little - a side hustle of sorts to get your feet wet.

but again, take your time thinking about enjoy doing / good at doing - things will pop into your mind over time, not at once
 
July this year was the 2nd anniversary of my father's death by suicide.
There is a saying about the 2 year mark of someone's passing.

3-4 months ago, I was in a bad place. I experienced a wave of grief that was unexpected. I had a couple of vivid dreams where my father and I would be having a discussion. I literally talked in my sleep. When I woke up, I was still talking to him.
I was de moer in with him. I gave him so much shiit in those discussions. I was mad at him. But we talked it out and said friendly goodbyes.

Ever since, I started to feel a little bit better every day.
3 people close to me also confronted me, telling me I have to start living again and stop the Debbie-downer BS.
Which I kind of did. It's going better.

At the end of August I recevied and email from Capital Legacy with a draft L&D account. I scrutinised it and then pissed my eyes out(sad, happy, grateful).
With the finalisation of his estate hanging over me for 2 years like a dark cloud, and now that it's almost at an end, I can start to really close this chapter of my life and move on.

A week ago was my 40th birthday. And some friends insisted that I have a 40th birthday party.
I said, fine, let's do it. I tried to make a guest list. Not even sure who did not come. Doesn't matter. We had fun, and those that were there I am gratefull for.

Friends organised everything, and I said Don't hold back. I am paying for everything, but the one thing I requested was a lekker skaap op die spit.

One of my very close friends made a bit of a speech. And he then turned everyone's attention to the balloons. And there were only 3 red balloons out of all of them. And they were for the 3 people who could not be at my 40th.
My father, my mother, and my sister. 🎈🎈🎈

We just have to keep on keeping on. No matter what.
There is always something to live for.
 
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