I am having a breakdown

[headache]

headache:

90% of the posters on this forum can be bloody children, then you get the rest - ignore the stupid posts and concentrate on the posts where you get proper advice.

However, please don't be like most - you post your problems, we give you advice, then you don't bloody listen anyways.

Thanks for your advice. I am actually already weighing some of the advice i got here so far, especially the maintenance one. like everyone is saying its not for me but for my child. Its better to try and see how much the courts can get him to pay than to assume and not try at all

 

[techead]

I am working. and financially independent.

That is good news What kind of person are you? Quiet and timid or outgoing and bold?

 

[Arthur]

get off the internet and see family. now.

 

[Peon]

@headache - Breathe deep and calm down for a sec. If you were to think about it right now, what do you think you going to do? Lets take it from there.

 

[medicnick83]

Thanks for your advice. I am actually already weighing some of the advice i got here so far, especially the maintenance one. like everyone is saying its not for me but for my child. Its better to try and see how much the courts can get him to pay than to assume and not try at all

You must stay independent - remember, when you're alone - you realize that you're alone - what you did do, didn't do, well, you're alone now - things can become too much... make sure (as a woman) you stay independent even with your partner in the picture.
It also shows your character and such - fight the battles you wanna fight.
And remember - there are plenty of fish in the sea... it's his loss, not yours.

 

[MickeyD]

Damn it's good to be single...

As kid, yes. One day when you grow up you'll know better.

 

[medicnick83]

As kid, yes. One day when you grow up you'll know better.

I hate being single... it's f'ing miserable!

 

[Rickster]

I hate being single... it's f'ing miserable!

But should you have to deal with OP's crap would you still be saying that?

 

[Sherbang]

What exactly is crap about my advice?

I don't know, you were the one that said it was crap. You started off saying "You'll get crap advice advice here" and then continued by giving her advice - here... which you'd just told her was crap.

 

[medicnick83]

But should you have to deal with OP's crap would you still be saying that?

Adults solve problems together - especially when you in a relationship.

 

[Progenix Oj101]

I don't know, you were the one that said it was crap. You started off saying "You'll get crap advice advice here" and then continued by giving her advice - here... which you'd just told her was crap.

I gave headache a general warning about asking for advice around here, I didn't say I was about to give bad advice.

 

[Iamnotageek]

Both the men in her life are real naaiers.

 

[heartbroken]

Adults solve problems together - especially when you in a relationship.

Yes in a loving relationship, not one where the husband is away banging sloots in the back seat of your car. Allegedly.

 

[medicnick83]

Yes in a loving relationship, not one where the husband is away banging sloots in the back seat of your car. Allegedly.

Boys will be boys... on another note; I've never done it in the back of my car...

 

[Ninja'd]

Boys will be boys... on another note; I've never done it in the back of my car...

The back of a Volkswagen is a real uncomfortable place.

 

[headache]

I cant answer all the questions asked but i will try address some here:

I am totally financially independent, I am in a position where in the past (before his breakthrough in the business) used to pay some of his business expenses. so finances are not an issue here. if i walk out today, I might actually be in better position than i am with him financially.

he used to be a good guy, this behaviour just started recently. it could be due to the ex pushing to be fully involved with the child except financially of course. it could be due to his big business breakthrough. as they always say, the loyalty of a man is tested when he has everything. just speculating here cos i am failing to understand what brought up the sudden change. from a loyal husband to not sleeping home. or from spending his birthdays to spending it with girlfriends and totally leaving me out of it.

someone said the sms could mean something else. but then how do you explain the condoms found in my car (he had the car the whole night) and how do you explain why he ignored my calls? we were talking nicely all day cos i had a surprise dinner for him. I was home waiting for him to come back from the funeral that's until he stopped taking my calls and didn't show up all night till the next morning when i faked my baby's illnesses. that's how low i had to stoop.

maintenance issue yes it could be pride on my side (but I am willing to accept that it's not my fight but my baby's) and it is definitely pride on my husband's side too.

thanks everyone for your thoughts and advice.

 

[Sinbad]

Front passenger seat works best.

 

[whatwhat]

Write down everything and take photos of proof. If you are going to end up in court you need some sort of evidence.

 

[Progenix Oj101]

headache from your last reply this is only going to be solvable between the two of you and possibly a counselor. Nothing anyone here says can help you going forwards - probably not even a counselor without input from your husband's side.

 

[Ninja'd]

Write down everything and take photos of proof. If you are going to end up in court you need some sort of evidence.

Another member, ice_cubes, bugged her car. Can't remember if that would be admissible in court.