I just got one. I just got one. Tralalalala..
"Good day sir, I am phoning from * garbled * security services, how are you."
Hi, I am fine thanks... what can i do for you ?
"Hello, I would like to speak to the physical owner of that computer which you are using."
I am the owner of this computer.
"Are you the physical owner of that computer there in front of you that your are seeing."
Yes I am... but it is just a screen in front of me, the computer I am owning is under the desk, I can't actually see it from where I am sitting...
"Okay then sir... I would like to then take this opportunity to alert you to the fact that there is an increase in computer corruption with software these days and that we have been alerted to an increasing number of corrupt emails being sent from your computer."
Oh dear, this sounds serious... which email address ?
"I am sorry sir... "
Which email address is sending out these corrupt emails ?
"It does not matter which one sir... we have been receiving a Microsoft notification about these emails..."
Microsoft ? Why would they be reading my emails and sending them to you... I don't understand...
"Sir, you are using your computer are you not.... and you are sending out emails yes"
Well, not now, because I am talking to you.
"Yes, this I know yes... but your computer has email software yes"
Yes it does...
"Well then sir... your emails have been getting from unknown people or persons software corruption that will need to be disabled..."
Wait, I am running anti-virus and I have had no warnings...
"Sir, there is a difference between virus and software corruption... the virus will destroy your hard drive, the software corruption will try to..."
Hold-on, my hard drive is in my computer... it is a physical thing... made out of metal... are you saying a virus will destroy my hard drive, like rust ?
"No sir, what I am saying is that your Microsoft software is corrupt and..."
How can my hard drive be rusting... it is only a year old...
"I am not saying that it is will be rusting with any virus sir.... your Microsoft..."
Wait, I am not using Microsoft... I use an Apple Mac... but please tell me how I will I be able to see rust on my hard drive that is physically in front of me and stop it from being destroyed... what must I look out for ?
"Pardon me Sir..."
Well, like I said... I am not using Microsoft... I would suggest you try and phone our government here in this country... they would definitely need to hear about this corruption you seem to be able to detect ... * click, she put the phone down on me *
I am sure you could have done much better... but I was not prepared for it and had no time to rehearse !