ELECTION 2009: breaking news (Hayibo)

Voting has got underway in South Africa's fourth democratic election, while the Independent Electoral Commission and the police say they are on high alert to make sure that Nandos products do not come within twenty meters of any polling station. Meanwhile in other breaking news:

* ANC Youth League President and honorary Viceroy of the Mickey Mouse Club, Julius Malema, is demanding the right to cast a second vote after learning that he had spoiled his vote early this morning. According to a spokesman, Malema had thought he was required to colour in all the blocks on the ballot paper. Observers became suspicious when he entered a booth with a box of wax crayons and spent forty-five minutes inside, quietly humming to himself.
* The ANC has asked IEC observers and police to keep an eye out for a voter in white robes with a long beard and "kind eyes". Insiders say the ANC is "deeply concerned" that Jesus Christ could return during the voting process. "Mr Zuma has repeatedly stated that the ANC would rule until Jesus returned," said one. "It would really rain on his parade if Christ returned in all His glory, perhaps at the Sandton polling station, just as Mr Zuma was getting into his stride." However, so far police said they had not seen anyone resembling Jesus, except for one homeless man in Hillbrow whom they tazered "just in case".

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However, so far police said they had not seen anyone resembling Jesus, except for one homeless man in Hillbrow whom they tazered "just in case".

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However, so far police said they had not seen anyone resembling Jesus, except for one homeless man in Hillbrow whom they tazered "just in case".

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