Helen Zille's rage to be tapped as clean energy source

CAPE TOWN. As controversy grows around plans to build two more nuclear power stations near Cape Town, energy experts believe that Western Cape premier Helen Zille's rage and indignation could be tapped as potential sources of renewable and clean energy. According to engineers the only "tricky part" would be plugging Zille into the national power grid.

This morning Eskom spokesman Sparky Mabuza confirmed that the power company was looking for new energy sources to replace the Koeberg nuclear reactor but denied that safety was becoming an issue.

"Cynics keep harping on about emergency shutdowns of the reactors seconds from total meltdown because one of our engineers has left a blob of chewing gum stuck on a fuel rod," said Mabuza.

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He said that Zille was a "perfect storm" because she combined enormous energy with explosive rage, unlike most politicians who combined enormous buttocks with explosive flatulence.

"If we could power the national grid with hot air or flatulence then obviously we could just plug in the National Executive Committee," explained Phiri.

"But that kind of technology is still decades away. For now we need more traditional energy sources like rage."

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"If we could power the national grid with hot air or flatulence then obviously we could just plug in the National Executive Committee," explained Phiri.

"But that kind of technology is still decades away. For now we need more traditional energy sources like rage."

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Empiricism Philosopher said:

The part with the chewing gum is that for real?

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