Today President Jacob Zuma delivers his state of the nation address. The speech will have been cobbled together by some hack who is eager to stay close to the Presidential rear end. It will, almost certainly, brag about the few achievements of the ANC and paper over the many cracks. This is the one he ought to have read.....
My fellow South Africans......and particularly the good looking young lady in the public gallery who I would like to marry, this is my first state of the nation speech and what can I say? It's been amazing. We've all got new cars and some of us have even got two new cars. Fortunately none of them are Toyotas so you won't have to worry about the accelerator pedal sticking (something that didn't happen when they were involved in F1.....pause for laughter) or the brakes failing. The cars we've chosen are much more expensive and therefore safer so none of your beloved leaders are at risk from an untimely death. That should silence all those honkeys who said we were giving the middle finger to the poor and getting our snouts in the trough.
Speaking of the poor....we are aware that there are a hell of a lot of the buggers and that they don't seem to be getting any richer. We're also aware that they voted ANC but we've got time on our side and we promise to talk about them again in four years time.
