2yr Old won't sleep....what to do????

G

Gothan

Expert Member
Joined
Oct 31, 2005
Messages
4,970
Reaction score
193
Location
Moot
Well me and my wife, through some unknown luck became foster parents to two little girls (age 1 and 2). But we are stumbling onto one huge major obstacle. When it becomes bed time (8pm), the 2yr old becomes impossible.

She starts screaming at the top of her lungs and starts crying. We would put her to bed, and then leave (light still on). We would here the little sobs and crying till it stops and she will be asleep. But then an hour later she will start screaming and crying again, no matter what you do. The 1yr old, excuse the pun, sleeps like a baby, from 8pm through till 6am without an issue, but tnot the 2yr old.

From all the parents out there, what can we do? Last night it started at 21:45, and was still continuing at around 3:30 (about an hour before I get up for work). My wife is not forced to go and sleep in the little girls bed with her just so that she would fall asleep and stay asleep. But I don't want her to get used to this...

I've been brought up the old fashioned way, if you don't sleep, you get a couple of whacks on your bum from a parental hand and then, but am not sure what the new age method of discipline is for a situation like this. I don't want to start giving her a spanking when she is like this.

We've tried to leave her be so that she cries herself to sleep, but the worry is that she might wake up the 1yr old. We have tried a night light (although people say this is a big no-no), but nothing is working.

This is seriously becoming a problem as I now find myself having quick naps traveling down the freeway between new road and allandale.

All advice from experienced parents would be greatly appreciated
 
You say you are fostering?
she screams the night away?

what is her reaction to you entering the room? if negative that is not a good sign.... :(
(not accusing you of anything but it could be an indication that bad things had happen to her historically)

I would take her to a GP & get her looked at. You might not be comfortable with that so let your wife take her, as someone would have to be there.

you as the Dad of the house could also start taking 5min a night & read a bedtime story(no scary ones)
 
First up seven is a more appropriate bedtime than eight for that age group.

Second, ignore all new age 'methods'. You just have to look at how stuffed up the world is to realise the modern way of non spanking doesn't work. Do what you think is best for the girls, not what cosmo or you magazine brain washes you with.

Thirdly, I don't know the circumstances surrounding the girls but maybe the 2yr old needs some play therapy or other professional help.

Bottom line, you need to be relentless in your routine as eventually you will succeed.

Good luck.

Sent from my GT-I9000 using MyBroadband Android App
 
Venomous said:
You say you are fostering?
she screams the night away?

what is her reaction to you entering the room? if negative that is not a good sign.... :(
(not accusing you of anything but it could be an indication that bad things had happen to her historically)

I would take her to a GP & get her looked at. You might not be comfortable with that so let your wife take her, as someone would have to be there.

you as the Dad of the house could also start taking 5min a night & read a bedtime story(no scary ones)
Click to expand...

When we enter the room, she wants to be picked up and immediately stops crying. I think it has to do with some kind of abandonment issue (but am not a child therapist, so its just my humble opinion)
 
hilton said:
First up seven is a more appropriate bedtime than eight for that age group.

Second, ignore all new age 'methods'. You just have to look at how stuffed up the world is to realise the modern way of non spanking doesn't work. Do what you think is best for the girls, not what cosmo or you magazine brain washes you with.

Thirdly, I don't know the circumstances surrounding the girls but maybe the 2yr old needs some play therapy or other professional help.

Bottom line, you need to be relentless in your routine as eventually you will succeed.

Good luck.

Sent from my GT-I9000 using MyBroadband Android App
Click to expand...

We used to have it at 7pm, but the one woman from the safe house where the kids stayed before they came to live with us said that she would put them to bed at 8pm, and then it would be lights out. So we thought we would stick to the routine (and its not working)
 
Other thin you can look at is what they eat/drink in conjuction with having her looked at.

Her problem can be physical & it can be emotional.

If you think her problem is not being hurt before then take her to a head doctor or therapist. She is still young so with the right treatment things will calm down.

Try avoid foods: processed meat, tartrazine, rasberry of any kind, coke, chocolate(there is still hard candy & jelly types), coffee, normal tea(rather rooibos instead).

Put bedtime back to 7pm again.
 
The strangest thing is, in the afternoons for naptime, it goes down without an hitch, and some evenings she will sleep for 4 hours without a problem, and then usually at 00:00 she starts crying till about 3:30. But last night was a kicker, no sleep at all, this morning I crept out of the house, just so no one would wake. To me its just strange that according to the women as the safe house, they all slept like babies, and now it just seems that she does not want to let go.

Oh the joy, this xmas, I am giving myself a present, I am going to sleep in my bakkie, just to get some sleep!! :D
 
She is 2, so cancel her naptime for a week.

Introduce quiet time (sit ''read books'' - they like pretending. Play quietly.) no running, jumping shouting)

maybe she'll start sleeping through due to being exhausted.

You & your wife must just persist with kind loving care :)

if you are fostering her then she is likely to have a sad history.

Maybe she feels you are kind & loving & fear losing you as she did her other parents.

Is she potty trained?
 
If you like I can get you in contact with a lady that I know. She is the kindest person I have ever met. :)

She fosters children when there is a case pending. Currently she has 2 lil girls. Their parents are getting nasty in court & she now has them. (i'm sure there's more to the story, but she's not allowed to discuss).

She has apparently done this type of thing for years.

Maybe she could give you pointers?
 
She is in the process of being potty trained (although I think she just likes to flush the loo and play with the tp)
 
Venomous said:
If you like I can get you in contact with a lady that I know. She is the kindest person I have ever met. :)

She fosters children when there is a case pending. Currently she has 2 lil girls. Their parents are getting nasty in court & she now has them. (i'm sure there's more to the story, but she's not allowed to discuss).

She has apparently done this type of thing for years.

Maybe she could give you pointers?
Click to expand...

Dude that would be awesome, me and missus don't have children of our own so this is all baby steps to us
 
You will have a PM shortly (will write after this)

She's one of my clients, & have been for the last 3 years.
 
let her run in the garden with nickers on or inside if you have tiles. She'd hate the sensation of the pee running down.....
 
Last edited:
My wife is also going to phone the social worker ( a friend of hers), who handled the case to see if she does not have any pointers that we could try. I also feel routine is the winner here, but I don't want the routine to include my wife having to sleep in her bed
 
Speak to someone who knows something about child psychology. The Toddler Sense book might be helpful. Don't confuse modern knowledge of child psychology with "new age". Or not hitting children with a lack of boundaries and discipline (as many people seem to do). Chances are that if you hit the child they might well go quiet to stop you hurting them, but you won't be addressing the real problem.

One possibility I can see is that she is more prone to feeling like she has been abandoned when it is quiet and dark. Can be hard to tell whether it is normal willfulness or that the child is possibly feeling insecure. The fact that she falls asleep when someone is near makes it sound like the latter.
 
I also think she might have abandonment issues, but oh boy, how to deal with that, that is the million dollar question
 
Have you tried leaving the TV on a child friendly program & setting the volume so it can be heard in the room?

don't close the door?
 
Thought I might perhaps try a radio or something, set to very soft, almost just a soft drone. I remember growing up (I can still remember it vividly), that my parents would always leave the radio on, and I can still remember the voice of Robin Alexander (Spelling???) on Radio Highveld stereo. He had this smooth calming voice. But don't want the poor kid to become infected with bierber fever and turn into a serial killer
 
Play kiddie CD's instead?

coz yes that could be a good idea.

Also try classical music (there is such a station if i'm not mistaken)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X