Telkom

Howzit,

Well i tawt this wid be appropriate to paste here since this is the "Just Telkom Area"

I was reading through my old emails looking for something when i came across this....its quite old, but still a classic....


This is apparently a transcription of an actual event:
My boss requested that I start organizing 5 telephone lines for
the Missions in Saldanha Bay. This is word-for-word how it happened:

"Good Morning, this is Telkom. How can I give you excellent service today?"

This was already 12:22. I replied: "Good Afternoon lady, (I just assumed
that she was a lady) I need to know what the procedure is to apply
for a new telephone service in Saldanha Bay."

Her reply: "Saldanha Bay? Do you perhaps know the code for Saldanha
Bay?"

Me: "Ah, no, Unfortunately not."

Her: "Could you hold please?"
(Then I assume she thinks that she has muted the phone.)

She shouts loudly."Hey Karen, what's the fu*king dial code for Saldanha?"

I hear someone talking in the background. Suddenly I have music in my ear
and two seconds later she comes back on the line. "I am transferring you
to our installations sir, have a good day."

Again music, and a few recorded messages. Then: "Good day, this is accounts."

I say: " I was supposed to be transferred to installations for Saldanha
Bay."

Her: " Sorry, I will transfer you." Again music for a few minutes.

Then:" Good morning, this is Ntembu, how can I offer you excellent service
please?"

Me: "I need information on how to apply for a new telephone service in
Saldanha Bay please."

Her: "E-yees I must transfer you to P.E."

Me: "Do you mean Port Elizabeth?"

Her: "E-yees they do the installations for Saldanha Bay.

Me: " Are you sure? P.E. is on the East coast and Saldanha is on
the west coast."

Her: "E-yes, they do the work there."

Me: " OK, if you are sure, I have been on the phone for quite a while
now."

Again music, then a male this time: "Good Morning, this is Telkom, how
can I help you?"

Me: "I need to know how to apply for a new service in Saldanha Bay?"

Him: " Do you have the dial code sir?"

Me: "No, but it is 02 something."

Him: "I will transfer you to Cape Town sir."

Me: "But Ntembu told me that P.E. does the installations."

Him: " Stupid wog, sorry sir I will transfer you."

Music again then: "E-yes good morning this is Ntembu. How can I
offer you excellent service?"

Me: "Hello Ntembu, you transferred me to P.E. in connection with
an installation in Saldanha Bay. They tell me its the wrong place and
I have to talk to someone in Cape Town."

Her: "E-yes I will transfer you to P.E."

Me: "NO, no don't transfer me to P.E. They don't do the work there.
I must speak to someone in Cape Town."

Her: "E-yes hold on I will find out." Music again. Two minutes
later: "E-yes, do you have the dialling code?"

Me: "No but its 02 something."

Her: "Hold on please."
Again music, then: "E-yes I will transfer you." Again music, then:
"Good afternoon, this is Jillian, how can I help you?"

Me: (sarcastically) "At last someone that knows the time. I need to find
out how to apply for new service in Saldanha Bay."

Her: "Do you know the dial code?"

Me: "No, and please don't tell me you must transfer me again."

Her: "No Sir, I will deal with this query."

Me: "I should ruddy well hope so. I am tired of being transferred
around."

Her: "Well sir, what you must do is get forms at any Telkom
office, fill them in and give it back to them There is a special on at the
moment."

Me: "OK, what is the special?"

Her: "The installation is R90 but you must buy your own phone."

Me: "How long for installation?"

Her: "If you fax me the form, about a month."

Me: "OK, what is the fax number?"

Her: "0224824545 and make it attention Jillian."

Me: "Thank you Jillian, why couldn't all the others help me with
this information?"

Her: "Well, its the new South Africa Sir. If I was you I would
complain to one of the superiors."

Me: "OK, can you transfer me to one please?"

Her: "With pleasure sir, please hold" again music,
then: "E-yes this is Ntembu speaking. How can I offer you excellent service?"

Me: "May I speak to a supervisor please."

Her: "E-yes sir, I am the supervisor."

ha ha! shocking! but hilarious!

Well clearly you are the one to blame. You should have known the f*cking dialing code.

rofl oh man that is clasic and funny

Never laughed so hard in my life
Classic!!!

You know like you get the whackhead CD from Highveld with all the phone pranks? What I would do to get hold a CD with recorded Telkom conversations between their "trained" staff and us (the public.)

Definition Of Scary:when You Have To Explain To Telkom Call Centre Agents What A Data Cap Is !!!!

Hilarious!! LOLROTFLMAO!!!

damn it. all you Listen carefully.
To avoid this you will have to take controle of the call.
1. ask the agent to repeat there name. (write it down)
2. explain carefully what you whant.(AND PLEASE HAVE THE CORRECT DETAILS ie tel no. order no. Ref no.)
3. if you are in the wrong department and they say Ill put you thru.
Tell them To stay on the line and explain your situation.(THEY CANNOT SAY NO)
4. if all else fails say the magic word (I WHANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER NOW) they usualy sort everything out within a few minutes

this is believably unbelievable!!!

I think I sould start to record my phone calls to Telkom in the future, for "quality ass-urance purposes"

cyberbob said:

this is believably unbelievable!!!

Click to expand...

what the hell are you talking about?

GangStarr said:

what the hell are you talking about?

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i believe it was meant as something along the lines of "This is unbelievable, but because it involved Telkom, I'd believe it" or somethng to that effect.

some peoples kids

lol.. thats HILARIOUS!!!

LOL Telkom stand up comedian..

Lovely!!

GangStarr said:

damn it. all you Listen carefully.
To avoid this you will have to take controle of the call.
1. ask the agent to repeat there name. (write it down)
2. explain carefully what you whant.(AND PLEASE HAVE THE CORRECT DETAILS ie tel no. order no. Ref no.)
3. if you are in the wrong department and they say Ill put you thru.
Tell them To stay on the line and explain your situation.(THEY CANNOT SAY NO)
4. if all else fails say the magic word (I WHANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER NOW) they usualy sort everything out within a few minutes

Click to expand...

@Gangraped
1) its difficult to hear or understand the name let alone write it down
What do you do with it, call the 10219 again and give the name to another moron.
2) even if you explain carefully, the answer they try to read of a chart, is not always clear so you must hold on while they find ot how to do their job
3) they will always transfer you, why waste time explaining to a moron anyway
4) they most off the times claim their supervisor is not available or alternately is the same as the moron you just spoke to
5) what is your role here, have experience or are you giving advice cos' you know better or at least think so. I know better, I have first hand experience! now I prefer to cancel the call and rather wait till I get to a voice that do not sound like a moron or I bypass by calling some no's direct

That was so entertaining. Now my argument is, how much time and money were wasted with all those transfers???!!!!!!
Telkom is so mismanaged it's not even funny. How they've managed to be the communications monopoly is the biggest joke of the century. It's like something you'll see on the Jerry Springer show..
....or no, we should contact Ripley's Believe it or not, or maybe the Guiness book of Records!!!!


@pupa. point number 5, I just tell them to put another operator on the line and I tell the person I'm speaking to that their service is pathetic. (Hoping they'll feel cuc and maybe brush up a bit...what are the chances?)

Jack Goa said:

That was so entertaining. ..............

@pupa. point number 5, I just tell them to put another operator on the line and I tell the person I'm speaking to that their service is pathetic. (Hoping they'll feel cuc and maybe brush up a bit...what are the chances?)

Click to expand...

Very little. I do feel compasionate tho, just do not like to hurt someones feelings or dignity. It is not their fault they have to do the job and do not have the technicall skill or ability, they must just not play clever ****, like a punk in cape town refusing to log a call becos' the telcom line speed prooved ok, becos' then I get abusive

Yeah I feel sorry for them, but I don't feel sorry for someone that has been put in a position cos of "certain action proclamations" and not because of their education!!!
And that while people who DO have the proper qualifications can't get a job!!