1 of those calls that ... stick with you.

I did a call on Sunday evening with Metro EMS where we were called to a 'location' in Claremont for a patient who was suffering from 'alcohol withdrawl'

Now if you can imagine it - we got the call and were all joking about it, the jokes where all about "what exactly are we supposed to do for this patient" and really, besides being a taxi for this patient to the nearest hospital, what are we supposed to do?

Anyways... we get to the location, I proceed up to the front of the place and ask the security guard to where X flat is and he willingly offers to take us to the flat.

We get there and are let in by a young girl (20ish) and proceed directly into the flat and are met by 2 young guys (20ish) and a girl who proceeds to get very upset and say she doesn't need help etc.

Her friends tell her "you knew this was coming" and she gets up in a huff and puff and storms into her room.

We can't obviously burst into the room and take her out, so my senior hears what is happening from the 3 'friends' and they explain that she is a cocaine addict and is in a state because she wants the number to the dealer and because they won't give it to her, wants to kill herself by taking X amount of pills (she took 2 sleeping tablets - really lame excuse at a suicide girl!) but anyways, my partner explains to the friends that we can't force her to come with us, she must want to come.

She then goes to chat to the girl who refuses to come outta the bedroom (locked the door) and anyways, we basically get the cue to leave.

But before we leave, my senior has to get the signature (patient refuses treatment/transport) and we get it.

As we are leaving, she comes outta the room, and basically starts to get violent, she grabs the hair of her friends and pulls it and as you can imagine a fight insues.

I wanted to try break it up, but I am told to leave "it's not our problem" and the girl starts telling her friends "get the f out, you f'ing traitors etc"

The swearing is really bad etc.

We leave

As we leave, I look at the girl and I say "X, please look after yourself" and she gives me this really kark look.

Exiting the premises, I plead my case to the crew that maybe we shouldn't leave (remember, we got the signature already) and they know me, they love me, but they have seen this sorta thing too often and basically in a nice way tell me they can't do anything about it - I personally was very worried about this girl killing herself.

As you can imagine try my best to help everyone I come in contact with but sometimes I guess I have to accept that I can't help everyone.

We then proceed to the next call and end up at a hospital.

Who is at the hospital in cuffs - X girl from the call.

She's giving the hospital staff grief - swearing at them etc - the police are there and you can see they are losing their patience with this girl.
I goto her, ask her to please be nice, stop swearing etc and she bluntly tells me to F'ing F off!

I go and talk to her friends and they remember me they say they really want to help her but they don't know what to do because shes old enough that when she goes to rehab, she stays for a while and leaves.

Dad is a softy and gives her everything.

She's not from Cape Town.
Her daddy is a rich man who spoils this girl rotten.

The point of this thread, or at least 1 of the points is that... to those of you who have daughters/sons who live away from home, and you're paying for X and Y and such.

Just think about something...

Do you know what they are getting up to?
If you're giving them money, what are they doing with that money?

Anyways, since the call in question, I've been wondering about it, what I could've done differently but I don't think anything was done wrong or what not.

Thoughts? Comments?

Apart from what you did, I don't think there's much else you could've done. I haven't been around people with addictions like that but from what I've heard, you can't help them if they don't want it. People seem to think they know what's best for themselves and even when you know that you are more right. Its one of those situations where they've been doing the wrong thing for so long in the mindset of its right that they don't know the difference. I commend you for trying pal, most people just walk away, you tried, her dad doesn't know or maybe he does but is in so much denial that he's ignoring it. We'll never know but you tried and its probably going to take something really bad for her wake-up call.

in short - my brother worked in the movies for about 10years, later he made enough money to buy his own house in Cape Town, Melkbos. Now usually the crew members on set work like 18hours a day or even more. So this one time my mother went to visit him in Cpt and she caught him and his friends using drugs - So, after accusing him of using it etc etc, he told my mom that she does not have to worry he can handle the drugs... So she leaves it there, Goes back to pta and about three years later the S*** hits the fan. He almost got his first Hollywood film, but after using drugs and so forth for quite a while now he got used to it and most likely used more and more. One night my mom woke up from a phone call in cpt - the owner of an hotel and restaurant says the he had smash everything up inside etc etc, he was going to press charges, but my parents said they would pay for all the damages so he at least got off the hook. Although he still ended up in a public hospital and it was difficult to locate him because nobody knew of his where abouts. So after my parents got hold of him they brought him back here in pta where we live...


I can't even describe how difficult it is into dealing with someone that has this disorder - from using all the drugs and stuff he developed Bipolarism, the next min his friendly, then agro etc etc... Things got really bad. For a couple of months he did not receive any money. So my mom gave him 3k each month for consumables etc etc... after we had learn that he had used the money to buy drugs again in the Hatfield area/ sunny side area dealing with Nigerians so forth. this really made everyone in the house upset because he could attract danger to our living environment. These Nigerian guy's could come to our house and kill us all just because some dope isn't paid off. the reason why we knew about this was that my mom hired a detective to follow him, My brother actually accused my mother that she must never hire any one again or else he'll give it to them...

After realizing what happened she took away all the money and now only gives him like 200rand for cigs... He is 37years old and he through away his career. But hopefully things are turning around. And btw He never wanted to be treated for Rehab.

He had live with us for three unsettling year's doing NOTHING each day. It even drove me crazy. The only thing he cared about was his stupid dog... Again he is in CPT working on the movies etc, I don't know how things are going, but hopefully everything is better???


Do you guys have any thoughts on this?
Will he ever change?
Its probably difficult to be the same again/ if tempted into using drugs again do you think he will take another "hit" at it??
Or maybe, he realized what happened to himself.

That is one heavy story.

Can't imagine what it must be like for you or your family. I think once you have an addictive personality/characteristic, it takes a major change in your life to change that. Its hard to say whether he'll ever change but I'm sure its possible. It goes around how far away he is from the temptation and with the industry he's in, its probably too easily available.

I do hope for you and your family's sake he doesn't go back to it.

gdiza said:

The point of this thread, or at least 1 of the points is that... to those of you who have daughters/sons who live away from home, and you're paying for X and Y and such.

Just think about something...

Do you know what they are getting up to?
If you're giving them money, what are they doing with that money?

Anyways, since the call in question, I've been wondering about it, what I could've done differently but I don't think anything was done wrong or what not.

Thoughts? Comments?

Click to expand...

Based on my experience I would not immediately believe what her friends were claiming. Sure she has a temper, and she went overboard, but she may be rightly angry at her so-called friends who have decided based on their own arbitrary criteria that she has a drug problem. They might be right, but without more information there is no way to know. The only thing she may guilty of is being a spoilt brat.

The chances are the girl you're describing's parents substituted money and things for personal involvement with their child. She could be needy, resentful, angry which unsurprisingly would make her go too far when betrayed by people she thought were her friends.

Really I can only give good advice and hope that it gets followed. I cannot nor would I want to know my child's every move. I do hope my child will only be buying good quality drugs from reliable sources. Of course he might rebel and decide to become a teetotaller, so an intervention may be called for.

Nokkie said:

Do you guys have any thoughts on this?
Will he ever change?
Its probably difficult to be the same again/ if tempted into using drugs again do you think he will take another "hit" at it??
Or maybe, he realized what happened to himself.

Click to expand...

Honestly it's not clear at all whether your brother ever actually had a drug problem. But if he did, no there is nothing you can do. A minority of people are prone to abusing drugs. For some people it is only particular drugs for others it is anything. And the individual has to decide they want to keep it under control.

he developed Bipolarism, the next min his friendly, then agro

Click to expand...

He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder?

I am a reservist as well, understand exactly what you feel like and how it affects you on a personal basis. I hope that you guys have a debriefing service, because it will definitely help. On a personal note, I think you did very well and there's nothing else you could have done. You did well and you truly are a credit to EMS.

gdiza said:

/snip/
The point of this thread, or at least 1 of the points is that... to those of you who have daughters/sons who live away from home, and you're paying for X and Y and such.

Just think about something...

Do you know what they are getting up to?
If you're giving them money, what are they doing with that money?
Thoughts? Comments?

Click to expand...

Kids who want to do drugs will do them, whether you give them large allowances or not, whether you are wealthy or not.
Sure, having the cash helps, but trust me, if you are broke and you want drugs, you find a way.
Once your kids are at varsity, I think all you can do is hope they have their feet firmly on the ground and have their head on straight.

As for what you could have done differently. Absolutely nothing. Some kids you can bully into stopping drugs, most of them, must want to stop.
this girl sounded like she was still in the stage where her rationality has gone out the window, and drugs seem like a completely normal, viable option.You cannot reason with someone like this, all you can do is plant a seed, and hope that they remember you offered help and where to go to, when they need it

drugs make other people unhappy

I once spoke with a paramedic in a hospital bed who tried to assist with a cocain addict suddenly gone violent. Took a few people to hold him down and during the scuffle he had pushed her down and proceeded to kick her repeatedly. I don't think the fact that she was female made much difference, these guys can have unbelievable strength when high and in a wild rage.

Help all you want, it is a good thing, but be careful. The good samaritan often pays the price. Overall though I don't think you could have done much more and kudos for trying

Well, he never had it. He was like a normal being, now its all different thanks to the stuff he uses from his mates.

noxibox said:

He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder?

Click to expand...

I have a cousin who went through something similar - heavy drug addiction followed by a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. But she says that she had the disorder prior to using drugs, but no one noticed. Shes doing okay now though.

Good to here that

Ancalagon said:

I have a cousin who went through something similar - heavy drug addiction followed by a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. But she says that she had the disorder prior to using drugs, but no one noticed. Shes doing okay now though.

Click to expand...

Eish... I saw a friend destroy his life on drugs... He started with weed in about grade 8... I started smoking in grade 9 because I thought it was an awesome release from shyte... soon after a lot my friends started smoking. In about grade 10 I tried weed while it was a big craze amongst the kids - tried it 3 times and hated it, It either did nothing but give me a headache, made me hallucinate, or made be really confused. So I really didn't like the effects and never tried it again.

It was in grade 10 when I realized I really struggled to stop smoking... Towards the start of grade 11, there were two or three guys jumping onto the harder drugs. I was offered a lil cocaine, and I don't know why, but when people start a serious drug habit, they try rope other people in, and they can be really really smooth about it. However, while I was being offered these drugs, it dawned on me that I'm just an addictive person. It's my addictive personality that drives me to excel academically, but also lead me to become unable to quit smoking.

So I had to keep a stiff upper lip about the drugs and said no to the cocaine, then I think it was crystal meth in matric - that is what the one guy was tacking towards the end of matric. I saw him last year (a year after matric), and he's a functional fsck up. He's hooked onto crystal meth, and just stays about home all day...

Everyone knows someone that has ruined their lives with drugs. Sadly, that's how the vibe goes, people will be addicted to something. However, somethings are worse than others.